Why I am still frum

DY: thanks. I figured.

snowbunny

Do you have a ticket to return back to the states?

Zdad, I fully agree.

Snowbunny I am so sorry for how you are being treated, and I think you should not argue with those people, and instead pack and leave that place, use the money for your own expenses (accommodation etc), make flight arrangements, and of course ASAP make sure your rabbi in the states, and those who naively donated, become aware of what goes on. I wish you much success in life in all your endeavours, and that very soon you can build a family and be overwhelmed with the happiness you deserve. Those sick and evil people, ignore them and cut them off your life forever.

Zahavasdad I agree with you completely on what you write, but not on it being surprising. I hate to write, but the BT business is a huge business, especially in EY. Beware beware beware, when it’s “only” hurt feelings and some money loss, one should move on with life, and realize it could have been much worse.

I am staying in my dorm until the 17th of march. I have already booked a flight. Basically, I am in one of the brovenders programs. They won’t charge me for the time when I am not there. But I will owe them $5-6,000 when I leave. I am just planning on using some scholarship money to pay it off a bit before I leave. My rabbi already knows, I don’t want to discuss everything here because this is a public forum.

Daniela: Amen!

VM, good, it didn’t make that you didn’t know. Since the teacher was an apikores, she probably meant that it’s irrelevant today.

right, but this school knew that i didn’t have money when i applied.

I know there are 2 sides to the story and originally I did defend the Semininary. I do think they should have rejected her (as harsh as that sounds) because of the money situation. They are entitled to the money.

However once they accepted her and brought her to Israel, knowing the financial details, they have a responsibility to make sure things go OK, Not to kick her out because of money, not to basically make her leave the country.

its not like she went to a college here in the US and they threw her out because she didnt have the money or a scholarship fell through In that case she could get home fairly quickly and easily even if it means taking an extended bus ride.

I sympathize. That’s a really difficult situation. 🙁 I hope you have something waiting for you in the States…? 🙂

Anyone who talks during davening and/or laining is a jerk and should be told so to their face!

For those of you who are confused, I arrived in Israel on August 27th, 2012 on the El Al flight with almost every seminary.

That may be true, and I was just given a big mussar schmooze about how I have been speaking lashon hara about the program and that I was not actually “kicked out” but my feeling is that the reason that I am interpreting this as being “kicked out” is because I was told that I needed to raise $12,000 by the end of the year in order to stay, and that if I left before Pesach, that I could pay off a significantly smaller amount after I start working and earning money, and that I should go home in order to make money so that I can come back in September.

I am pretty sure that saying that sort of statement is sugar coating some stuff, and that people want me to live in the “fantasy” that I am a great girl who messed up big time, and since she is not wealthy, can’t stay here. I know I messed up this year big time in several areas, but at the same time, I was not the only one who messed up big time, and, since I am the center of this situation, I am going to suffer the brunt of it. My mom said that there is no way she is willing to send me to Israel again as a result of this. Last time I checked, I never said I was going to sue this program, however, I know that I told the director that I would have to go into debt, and at the time, I did not know how much, but that it could either be no debt, or an extremely high amount of debt (which is ended up being) and that it would take time to negotiate how much money I would get refunded, and other things of the like. I was accepted and joined this program because I was under the impression that the people in charge understood this, and to me, the first paragraph is not realistic, and the fact that I am leaving this program, in many aspects, is turning my life upside down, and that is causing me a ton of stress, and making me, physically sick, I am literally having stomach issues again, and a fever.

Even though this program has been very accommodating of me in certain aspects, some of those accommodations were not appropriate at all and made me feel stupid, and other ones weren’t exactly perfect, meaning, when I go out with friends, nothing drives me nuts more than constantly getting phone calls from people who say that they are calling to make sure I get back (I understand that they are responsible for me, however, I have a very independent type of personality, and I feel that people don’t trust me if they are constantly calling me when I go out).

The reason that I am going to be leaving this program, and why I left the first seminary, is because I never should have been accepted into those program because the hanhala from both schools ignored critical pieces of information that I mentioned during my interviews with both schools and then after being in their program, I found out that I needed to leave because even though I was told one thing, they thought the reality was different, and that I could just magically either not be learning disabled anymore, or magically come up with a large amount of money. If I needed to create my shidduch resume today, I am not sure if I would even mention that I went to seminary at all, but that also creates the dilemma where I need to figure out what I would put down that I ended up doing this year.

When I was a senior, I was pressured not to go to israel, it turns out that the people who were pressuring me to wait a year and then go to neve were right, not because I was not mature enough to come here, but because even though I was in a high school with bais yaakov hashkafos, I have been sitting for the past few years on the border, hashkafically, between yeshivish and modern orthodox. Additionally, last year, I had to request, for my own sanity, certain accommodations that no other girl would ever have, such as coming to school later on certain days because I was exempt from certain morning classes and therefore would have had nothing to do for long periods of time (if I understood my homework assignments, I would have done them during my free periods), and one day a week, I was able to come to school at 11 am and then leave school an hour later because I was done with classes for that day (yes, that was friday), which other girls who would get that accommodation most likely would have just skipped school that day completely.

I already booked my flight to New York. I also have a chedvas interview, G-d willing, on Thursday.

Additionally, I feel like having a string of schools that I have attended for such short periods of time is not so great for me because my mother constantly gives me looong mussar schmoozes about how I am “ruining my reputation”. I mean, its true that the first school I left didn’t like me, but at the same time, I don’t exactly know how much debt I am in right now, and I personally feel that at the moment, I need a break from learning Torah in a midrasha because this year has been such a big turn off, that I have lost interested in learning about Yiddishkeit. I am looking forward to the week before Pesach in New York because I will be able to relax and hang out with people I have not seen in such a long time that I would love to catch up with. I would also like to, and I know this is expensive, but go to Talia’s and order steak there one night (I went there once with JSU).

I feel like the stomach problems will go away when I get to New York.

SB Have you ever been to NY

It can be a rough place for people not familiar with the area and customs.

popa, that was very closed minded and disturbing.retard? when kids grow up being criticized, their whole attitude on yiddishkeit is affected! and ppl that go otd generally go through a lot of pain. its really not right to generalize like that!my friends brother was criticized excessively by his rebbi when he was young, and so he went otd this past year. its awful!

It helps for people to have positive experiences and so they see and feel the beauty and joy

judging by all the fat husbands from popa’s competition, nirah li that wiy has a point. If only we fattened frumme kids up more with candy and kugel and soda, then they’d stay on the derech.