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Why is it that the GIRLS have to sit and wait for weeks or even months for the BOYS to finally give a ‘YES’????????
WHY WHY WHY??? anyone have an answer???………
Can we stop beating this dead horse?
Becasue when we get married, Girls get the upper hand.
Boys always had the upper hand. Throughout Jewish history the boys would get a dowry from the girls side.
The Torah says and the Gemara explains Darko she Ish Lechabesh
You are wrong!Since generally the boy checks out the girl first,it is the boys who have to wait for an answer.In fact,a few times,it took a month for girls to get back to me and many times THEY DID NOT GIVE AN ANSWER AT ALL,so stop feeling bad for the girls!!!
There’s more pressure on the girls to be ready younger, and as they grow, more and more girls are coming into the market. Girls need to be ready very young, set up financially either by parents or having their own means of parnasah at a very young age (how is an 18 year old going to do that?). The boys have the luxury of time, both biologically and socially. So there’s a scramble to get the girls set up and matched young. This scramble puts the boys at the advantage, when a person/gender is not as desperate, they can afford to take their time. The amazing thing is that it is the girls who are so pretty, make such a monumental effort to look good, work hard, behave nicely, and are willing to be moser nefesh letorah, who scramble and not the boys. I agree with you. It seems backwards.
Believe it or not, almost every girl I’ve dated I said yes to first, and then she decided if she wanted to date me.
Correction. I’m not saying the boys are not moser nefesh or don’t work hard on themselves, but anyone who knows girls knows the efforts they have to make to put themselves together that young.
I Think The Shadchan should give each side the name at simult.
Re Binyomin1: many people have experienced that the girls research first. The boys have so many names that they can narrow it down by focusing on the yeses first.
Ask the shadchanim why they always approach the boys side first. Maybe some will make the radical departure and speak with the girls side first.
The shadchanim are beholden to the boys through no choice of their own. They need the boys; the boys don’t need the shadchanim.
Traditionally, the boy is approached first because the feeling exists that girls, being more sensitive, will take rejection harder.
That having been said, the reason the girls seem to wait longer for a date is simple demographics, which have been discussed on this site ad nauseum. There are simply more girls in shidduchim than boys.
Its too bad YWN has not implemented the “ignore” feature other boards and blogs use, this way it would be possible to “ignore”, or opt out, of viewing the postings of selected users.
WE DO. WE EXPOSE EVERY NEW JOSEPH USERNAME AS SOON AS WE CAN.
WE DO. WE EXPOSE EVERY NEW JOSEPH USERNAME AS SOON AS WE CAN.
I can see it now:
HOME – YWN RADIO – COFFEE ROOM – PHOTO ALBUM – JOSEPH ALERT – COMMUNITY CALENDAR – SIMCHA LISTINGS.
Why is it that in the Chassidishe velt the (parents of the) BOYS have to sit and wait for weeks or even months for the (parents of the) GIRLS to finally give a ‘YES’????????
WHY WHY WHY??? anyone have an answer???………
Capitalism, my friend. Supply and demand.
Bec we are rockstars!!!
oops, correction from above comment
I meant “their daughter marrying a Kollel boy”
They don’t. They only think they do (cause mommy keeps telling them they are the best thing in the world, and no one is good enough for them).
But in reality, the girls (and their earning power) still call the shots. The boys with potential get the calls and the duds stagnate.
Why is it that when it rains outside, you get all wet? Why can’t it be that the crops will grow without ruining my clothing and making me smell like a sheep?
WHY WHY WHY??? anyone have an answer???………
popa bar abba, you seem to be troubled by such deep and complex questions far beyond my capabilities to explain! I hope you find the answers so that perhaps you can sleep at night!
Let’s get Hello99 over to this board. He will tell us that it is all a figment of your imaginations. They are just as many boys as girls….
And I never had a girl say no to me.
And I simply would not stand for it. Women need to know their place, and that is to accept directions from us.
Why do the ‘BOYS’ have the upper hand????
Becasue when we get married, Girls get the upper hand.
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