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Was just by a friend that suffered a stroke & is currently in rehab. He was literally crying about a rich mutual friend of ours that arrived 15 minutes after visiting hours. The nurse was busy dressing him for bed and went to the door and told the guy that visiting is not allowed period. The person answers with chutzpa tell him Mr. Z is here. She answered I don’t care the patient is in PJs. After insisting she asked the patient who said no. Well the rich guy just waited until she left and came in anyhow with his son and……… 8 year old grandson!!!!!! He asked me not to repeat to him and this is what I answered I would but this guy would nebech not undertand what I/we even want.
What is it that makes people with a little money to think the world is theirs. He came with a car it’s a 15 minute drive he should have came on time and if not drive back and come back tomorrow. But no the patient (in emarassing state) should adjust to him and his selfish needs. What is it in general with the rich. Why don’t they understand other people? Isn’t this common sense? Who gives him the right to trample on other people. Is it money or is it just that this person is super lousy?
Some poor people do the same thing.
For some, it’s how they got rich in the first place.
In this case i agree with Joseph. When a sign on the door says ” no visitors ” some people see the words ” except me “. Other idiots walk in when the patient is slerping and wake them up so patient should know they were there. The fact that the patient may have just fallen asleep after a rough day doesn’t occur to them.
This behavior is found on all economic bracketsLast week i was working self checkout at the supermarket where I work a customer came to one of the registers scanned two items and paid for them but he did not scan a large bouquet of flowers and they did not have a paid sticker that would indicate they were paid for at the floral dept, I respectfully asked to see his receipt for the flowers he became enraged started yelling that i was harassing him finally he found the receipt and shoved it in my face and i looked at it and said thank you have a good day he grumbled something and stormed out.
A couple days later my store manager pulls me aside and told me i have to be careful how i talk to people he told me the customer complained and that he happens to be a very prominent person. I didn’t argue with him but knew what he was telling me was nonsense asking for the receipt was part of my job and if i hadn’t and he had walked out without paying i would be at fault. As far as his being prominent i have no idea how i would know that and why it would make a difference, I’m sure the store manager would not want me to racially profile customers, or judge them on their clothes the rules are the rules i cannot help if he chose to feel persecuted, that was not my intent and i was professional and respectful throughout.
There is a mitzva of bikur cholim. Imagine if you need to put on tefillin but you missed the “visiting hours” to don the tefillin, wouldn’t you become pushy and insist?! A choleh is a cheftza shel mitzvah. The choleh is your tefillin, he is your lulov to shokel. The lulov may get shook up by the person doing the mitzvah, but we gotta do it, sorry lulov. I need to do my mitzvah and NO, it needs to be done today, right now – (ain mavirin al hamitzvos, mitzva haba l’yadcha al tchamtzena etc). Do we really have the right to disregard the mitzva because the nurse decided it is past the “zman” for visiting?!
Probably the first and last time I’ll agree on anything with Joseph but here he is 100 percent correct. The issue of arrogance and contempt for the rules others live by is not a function of income but reflects the midos of the individual. We have rich and poor who feel their time is more important than others’ or simply feel that rules that can be ignored or evaded with minimal consequences should be ignored. Its a pervasive issue in our society and made worse by social “progressives” who argue against enforcement of lower level violations of the law so as to not “tarnish” an individual for their lifetimes. Even simple daily activities are triggered such as the shopper with the 25 items in his/her cart getting on line at the “express” checkout line with a sign that says 10 items or less.
A couple days later my store manager pulls me aside and told me i have to be careful how i talk to people he told me the customer complained and that he happens to be a very prominent person.
Couldn’t you have explained to the manager that you did speak respectfully?
Rebbitzen, interfering with a patient’s recovery is no m ig tzva.
Oh i did but when its customers word vs employee’s customer wins every time, he wasn’t so much chastising me but letting me know how i should have handled it, it wasn’t acrimonious, and I didn’t feel bad because I knew I did my job right.
A choleh is a “cheftza shel mitzvah” ?
I cannot believe a Jew can write such a thing.
I’m shocked at the lack of mentshlichkeit and common sense.
I assume this attitude is a rarity, otherwise the Torah world is in tatters.Sorry, my apologies, it was obviously written in wry humor, and I was slow to get it. I retract my attack.
Dear Rational,
There is logic to madness – even (or especially) “frum” madness, aka “krum”.
I heard the logic of someone illegally parking (blocking a driveway etc) when attending davening in shul: Davening is an “essay” (a positive commandment) and illegal parking is (at best) a “lo sa’asay” (a negative prohibition), and we all know that “essay docheh lo sa’assay” (a positive commandment overrides a negative prohibition)!
So yes, a choleh is a “cheftza shel mitzva” and like the hoshana we must klup him 5 times on the ground till we fulfill the mitzva.
Besides, when we visit we remove 1/60 of his illness, so our visit benefits the choleh more than rest or convenience.
For a choleh, there is leniency on a shvus (d’rabbonon) on shabbos….ask yourself, what is more important, a shvus or a hospital rule?! If a shvus can be ignored for a choleh, kal v’chomer a hospital rule about bikur cholim zmanim!
because we own the world
It’s not necessarily rich people, it can be regular people or even poor people it’s the fact that these people are simply uneducated (they won’t admit it because they think it’s below their dignity to do so) and have major attitude issues as was evident in the case of the customer in the supermarket.
“as was evident in the case of the customer in the supermarket”
Wait a minute! The customer actually paid for the flowers. It was demanded of him to prove that he paid – by producing a receipt (which he might have misplaced), failing to do so, he was being accused of being a gonif!
The TRUE fault lies with the floral department that failed to put a “paid” sticker on the flowers. The failure of the floral dept CAUSED this customer to be accused of being a gonif and created the pressure that he produce a receipt!
Is THAT fair?!
Suppose he misplaced the receipt (as we often do) or simply couldn’t find it in his many stuffed pockets – would he be forced to pay AGAIN for the flowers and viewed as if he attempted to steal them?!I believe that the customer was TOTALLY right to be upset by the demand that he must prove his innocence (“guilty until proven innocent”!).
Blame the floral dept for messing up – not the innocent and embarrassed customer!
Time magazine 8/20/2013 wrote that rich people tend to be more narcissistic than poor people. So while both rich and poor people can think only of themselves, it is more prevalent by the rich.
While obviously there is no ground rule for how who behaves how, I definitely see how those with the money feel that sense of entitlement. In my office, I have clients from all different walks of life…as well as financial status. The top 4 clients who’s behavior really topped the charts, happened to be 4 with a tremendous financial portfolio. I have overall found they have a sense of entitlement because…”I’ m on the board of (fill in blank for large company, organization)”. Not to mention the huge chillul Hashem that my non-jewish co-workers saw. Give me a “poor” client anyday. While there are also many wealthier etc people who are humble and whatnot, those in a monetarily powerful position often have a sense of entitlement/I want it now type attitude.
Hold the phone Rebbitzen I accused him of nothing i merely asked to see his receipt if i did not do so the same store manager would hold me responsible for not doing so, if he could not produce the receipt i would have asked him to wait a moment while i contacted the floral dept to confirm he had purchased the item in question.
The truth is he started kvetching before he even started to look for it, I often have to ask for a receipt or look in a shopping bag to confirm something only a small percentage of people CHOOSE to be offended most understand its part of my job and do not object in the least.
Rebbetzin, someone who puts on tefillin or shakes a lulavu not in the proper time does no mitzva and says a beracha l’vatala. Similarly, if you visit a choleh at an inappropriate time you are doing an aveira (besides the chillul Hashem). You probably would not tell anyone about unemployed people you know so that you could give them gifts every Purim. Chazal call such a person a חסיד שוטה.
“I accused him of nothing i merely asked to see his receipt” – Goq
Really?! Let’s think this through, I will go slow:
Step One – What is a receipt? Answer: A receipt is proof of purchase.
Step Two – What does purchase mean? Answer: The item was paid for
Step Three – Why would a person need to show his receipt? Answer: To prove that the item was purchased (see above – purchased means he paid for it).
Step Four – Asking to show receipt means asking to PROVE that the item was purchased.
Step Five – By DEMANDING that a receipt be produced, you are suggesting that the item was NOT purchased.
Sorry, but an honest customer who paid for the product would be insulted by a suggestion that he is a gonif.
Its ttly standard to ask customer for receipt of purchases when leaving a store. Anyone who feels accused of being a gonif by that is insecure.
Chill, standard procedure-the world is not out to get you as much as u think it might beI agree with Lucy. It’s a matter of policy, not an accusation against any particular shopper.
Maybe it would be enough to merely ask the customer if the flowers had already been paid for – sounding like a gently reminder just in case, and also sounding like you would be totally willing to take their word on it if they say yes. Asking for a receipt implies that you would NOT take their word and need proof, or else you would make them pay even if it might possibly mean paying for it a second time.
BTW – a few very rich people probably really do own the world.
What if the customer refuses to produce the receipt. What happens at that point?
Lucy “Its totally standard to ask customer for receipt of purchases when leaving a store. ”
As long as EVERYONE (or at least MOST people) are asked to show the receipt – as when leaving Costco, BUT if only ONE person is TARGETED and no one else, that means you SUSPECT that person, and that is BOTH: (1) embarrassing; (2) insulting.
Sure a store may want to check someone’s pockets (“Excuse me sir, but can we check your coat pocket to see what items you might have forgotten to pay for?”), but wouldn’t you be (1) embarrassed; (2) insulted – giving you a RIGHT to be upset!
Here’s a fun fact: when they routinely check your receipt as you leave Costco (and I suspect the same is true in other stores), they aren’t checking to make sure you didn’t steal stuff. They’re checking to make sure the cashiers rang stuff up correctly.
It’s true. The internet said so.
“Maybe it would be enough to merely ask the customer if the flowers had already been paid for”
Sadly one who would steal would also lie.“What if the customer refuses to produce the receipt. What happens at that point?”
At that point I would call the manager when this customer started ranting and raving I stepped back and allowed him to search for his receipt, it was very disconcerting to see such a prominent person carry on so.Just this morning a customer showed my coworker a picture of a sales tag on an item that was no longer on sale so he gave her the sales price (.79 off) after she left he went to the shelf to take off the old tag but it was not there she had taken the picture when it was on sale, this was very early in the morning and we were light staffed so he didn’t have anyone to call to check the price like we would usually do, we cannot take a customers word or photo a front end runner would have to go and look at the item on the shelf.
One early morning regular switches labels on meat products putting lower price labels on more expensive cuts of meat, I could go on and on it would be nice if we could live in a society where this kind of chicanery does not exist but until that happens don’t freak out on me for doing my job.
Here’s a fun fact: when they routinely check your receipt as you leave Costco (and I suspect the same is true in other stores), they aren’t checking to make sure you didn’t steal stuff. They’re checking to make sure the cashiers rang stuff up correctly.
It’s true. The internet said so.
I just read that too. A few posts above.
Also, the guy checking my receipt at Costco told me.
At the store we shop in, there is self-check out for those who have the store’s credit card. They can randomly spot check your purchases to make sure people are doing it honestly. We got “lucky” the other week. The manager came over and started going thru the list of paid items on the screen asking us to check that we had them in our very full bags piled up in the shopping cart. What was funny, is that the computer asked to confirm some of the things we had scanned, but no one bothered to check that we did not have unscanned items in our bags, or compare the list of scanned and paid for items to what we actually had in the cart- which you think would be the whole point of the check. So basically, I was left to unpack and then repack the purchases for what I thought was a useless policy!
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