Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Why aren't you lookin @ ur Kallah?
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July 20, 2011 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #598115Legen-daryMember
I went to a wedding some time ago, and me and my friends ALL noticed how very strange it was- the chatan/chosson did not look at his Kallah through the whole wedding, even under the chupah- it was weird…they might be yeshivish but its just weird!!
( and it had nothing to do with any kind of suspicious stuff, plain and simply he didnt look at his kallah, almost ina snobby way)
July 20, 2011 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm #788034adorableParticipantusually after the chuppa they look at each other for a minute. nothing can compare to that one minute look. its pure bliss
July 20, 2011 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #788035DroidMemberUmm, why most he noticeably “look” at his Kallah in front of everyone? Yidden don’t show public displays of love or affection.
July 20, 2011 8:27 pm at 8:27 pm #788036IUseBrainsParticipantMaybe ur coming from a different angle, howver,from other perspectives this is well understood,look at the story of Avrohom and Soro!
July 20, 2011 8:37 pm at 8:37 pm #788037golden momMemberOne of many reasons y the kallah walks around the Chasan is she he could “look” at her and her characteristics and “know” its her and not to be tricked like by Yaakov Avinu
July 20, 2011 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #788038Derech HaMelechMemberMore importantly, you (seem to have only) seen it once. What’s the big deal?
July 20, 2011 9:19 pm at 9:19 pm #788039smartcookieMemberThe poor child was probably dead nervous and stagefright.
July 20, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #788041tobgMemberlegen-dary,
Didnt he pickup the veil to see if its her?
July 20, 2011 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #788042Legen-daryMemberI’m saying he should be staring at her with his eyesballs poppin out, and I understand those who say he doesn’t have to show “public affection” but at least show that you notice she exists!
Even by dancing when the kallah sat in the men section and she was trying to talk to him, he looked away with disintrest, it looked strange, rude and mean.
And no, I have never seen this before @ any wedding wherre the chosson doesnt aknowledge his kallah! I sure wouldn’t want that!!
July 20, 2011 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #788043Legen-daryMembertobg- a quick side glance…like “lets get over with this shindig”
July 20, 2011 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #788044gefenParticipant“Even by dancing when the kallah sat in the men section and she was trying to talk to him, he looked away with disintrest, it looked strange, rude and mean.”
yes – that does sound very strange! i hoped he’s looked at her since then. otherwise i feel very sorry for her.
July 20, 2011 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #788045Another nameParticipantLegen-dary
I hope you were just overinternalizing. Maybe he was a little nervous or uncomfortable to display his true feelings in public.
July 20, 2011 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #788046love a yidMemberI CAN SAY SOOOO MUCH
….BUT ILL JUST SHUT-UP NOW!
July 20, 2011 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #788047oomisParticipantI also saw something similar once, and the emes is the marriage broke up within a few months. I am thinking the chosson in that case felt guilty about going through with the wedding when he was very conflicted about marrying her. Hope that was not what happened in your scenario.
July 21, 2011 12:54 am at 12:54 am #788048fix-it-upMemberlove a yid-say it say it! im so curious 🙂
July 21, 2011 2:12 am at 2:12 am #788049always runs with scissors fastParticipantLegen-dary, your description of this chasan sounds like my husbands’ type of personality. He definately acts very shy and modest and humble and temimesdik in public. For example, in public he will not lean close in to me when we’re talking, he stands at a distance.
During our chuppa and mitzva tanse he did not look at me either. Its a modesty thing.
July 21, 2011 6:57 pm at 6:57 pm #788050Legen-daryMemberI can understand the whole tense and modesty thing- but in this case the chatan wasnt this greasy shvitzer, shy type of guy- i mean when it came to his friend congratulating him, he was all over the place- dancing etc. it was very strange.
July 21, 2011 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #788051Eizena KupMemberWhat’s the question? Why I’m not looking at my Kallah?
Simple, she’s 100 miles up north in the pool, I’m down here in the sweltering sun shvitzing (and posting).
July 21, 2011 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #788052Legen-daryMemberlol eizena Kup!
July 21, 2011 8:51 pm at 8:51 pm #788053adorableParticipantmaybe you didnt see everything or are over reacting. i would say that if they are happily married dont ever ever say anything.
July 21, 2011 9:09 pm at 9:09 pm #788054ronrsrMemberPerhaps he does not yet realize how fortunate he is.
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