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If there were more men like Boaz, then there might be more young women willing to marry them despite the age difference.
At any rate, marrying an older man is not what made Rus a tzadeikes. In fact, most tzidkanyos I have heard of were married to men about their own age, such as Rebbetzin Kanievsky and Rebbetzin Scheinberg – one has nothing to do with the other.
I get the feeling this question is personal. Are you perhaps an older man wishing to marry a young woman?
I read all the comments, and I don’t think anyone mentioned that the Gemara says that an old man seeking to marry a young woman, is called a “no’ef” (lecher). I don’t have the source.
Depends how you define young. A man, of any age, has a mitzvah (or obligation) to have children and to marry a woman capable of bearing a child.
cheftze, I’m not the one defining, the Gemara makes the distinction between young and old. If you’re male, you can look it up. As a woman, I don’t learn Gemara.
Health,
You have brought the definition of young girl (under 12), but you haven’t defined ‘old man’.
You say that a girl over the age of 12 has a chiyuv to get married. I know that a woman doesn’t have at all a chyiuv to marry, the mitsva of pru u’rvu is on the man.
To all the women out there who are wondering if this thread is creepy:
It is.
(This is my first post on it too.)
Moi aussi The definition of an old man is irrelevant as long as the girl is over 12 (and thus not a yalda), since the only problem is for an old man to marry a girl under 12.
And even if you argue a girl has no chiyuv to get married, she most certainly has a tremendous mitvah to do so.
Patri, why is the definition of an old man irrelevant? If the Torah makes a distinction between young man and old man, there must be a criteria defining old man. I would like to know what it is.
I don’t know if it’s a mitsva for a girl to marry, I think she’s advised to marry. In any event she has no chiyuv, so Health’s statement saying otherwise is incorrect.
always here
and always on schedule
40 & 80 per the D’var Torah I heard in Shul today.
Posted 10 months ago #
& Guess what happened thereafter? Boaz passed away after 1 nite, leaving Ruth yet again a young widow in her early 40’s.
“To all the women out there who are wondering if this thread is creepy:
It is.)”
popa_bar_abba: I agree. Very creepy!
MA: Why would having children (pru urvu) not be a mitzvah for a woman, if for nothing else than for assisting a man fulfilling a mitzvah? Its a mitzvah to help someone else do a mitzvah. Although I’d tend to think their is a fundamental mitzvah for a woman, in of itself, in having children.
Once a person is eighty he has good chance of living a few more years. ……….. You “Health” missed the mark of what i was relating. A good chance of a “few” more years [as you youirself state], but not a good chance of “many” more years.
Obvioulsy it is tragic that Boaz did not live to see his son.
Health, I don’t need to read all the posts to know that a woman has no chiyuv to marry.
Do you tell people to ask their rabbi when you have no answer? You can say you don’t know the answer.
Well, Health, you still didn’t answer my question. Are you an older man hoping to marry a young woman? I think this whole thread is based on your personal desires.
Health, Women are remaining spinsters, because men always want young women. They want it when they’re 20, and they still want it when they’re 60. You will argue that an old man seeks a young woman for procreation, that’s a good cover-up for their real intent. An old man has no patience for children, an old man wants a young woman to satisfy his physical urges (no’ef).
Health wrote: “Since when do I have to answer your questions? Some people think that if THEY ask a question – THEY must get an answer.”
Well, in a way you did answer the question. At any rate, it’s amusing that you say people are not entitled to answers just because they asked, when just two weeks ago you wrote:
“And I’m still waiting for one of these “angels” to answer Yes to the question I posted on the topic called – “Who wants to be a Tzadiekes like Rus?”.”
moi aussi: You are incorrect on both counts. Older men often do want children, as is their obligation or mitzvah (though it is even true often with non-Jewish men too.) And they are correct in seeking to quench their physical needs. The alternatives to that are much worse.
Reminds me of a Readers Digest anecdote.
So this 64 year old guy decides to take a science class at the nearby college. His lab partner is a young lady in her 20’s. He thinks that there can be something between them.
So he is at his doctor the one day, and asks his doctor (why his doctor? they’re not allowed to laugh at you) whether a 40 year gap should stand in the way of love.
Doctor: Why, are you interested in a 104 year old?
Health: When you tell me you would be willing to date an 80 year old woman if she could still have children, I’ll take you seriously.
Yes Health, you’ve made yourself perfectly clear, but I still don’t agree with you. Will you spank me now?
You say that women have a chiyuv to marry, can you cite the source? I know that women are ADVISED to marry, not mechuyavot.
My rabbi has better things to do than to satisfy my curiosity. However, you can look up the answer in the Shulchan Aruch, and report back to us (if you wish).
Patri, does anyone say that an old man shouldn’t satisfy his needs? The question is, with whom should he do so, with someone close to his age, or with someone 20 or 30 or 40 years younger than himself?
Health: When you tell me you would be willing to date an 80 year old woman if she could still have children, I’ll take you seriously.
That isn’t realistic. An 80 year old woman can’t have children. There’s no point in engaging in unrealistic hypotheticals.
That isn’t realistic. An 80 year old woman can’t have children. There’s no point in engaging in unrealistic hypotheticals.
There is. Because if you can’t even admit to it when it is impossible anyway, it kind of undercuts you.
Billionaire Karl Wlaschek is marrying for the 5th time. He is 94 years old, and he hopes to have 5 or 6 more children, at the very least.
They aren’t revealing his bride’s age, but it is unnaturally high, based on the picture. We usually would see her being like 25.
Google “Karl Wlaschek marry”
I would marry an 80 year old woman if she could bear children.
It would definitely give me a way to supplement my fixed income…
*ahem* Issurei Bi’ah 21:16.
Health,
If you talk to me as if I were a pre-schooler (I’ve made myself crystal clear) I respond to you like a pre-schooler (unlady-like).
Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 1:13:
“lo teshev isho belo ish shelo techoshed”
a woman should not remain without a husband because of suspicion
Hilchot Issurei Biyah 21:26
“reshus le’isho shelo tinoseh le’olam”
a woman has permission not to ever marry
Reb Akiva Eiger
In a place where there’s no suspicion, a woman has no obligation to marry
The Chofetz Chaim married a woman much much younger than himself. His second wife (I think it was her first marriage) was only niftar in New York in the 1980’s or 1990’s (and her kever is in Queens.)
Hilchot Issurei Biyah
“shelo yiso zoken yalda shedovor zeh gorem l’znus”
an old man shall not marry a young woman as this will lead to adultery
Yevamot 101b
“k’lech etsel shekmosech ve’al tachnis ketata letoch beisech”
a man shall marry a woman of his age and not bring strife into his home
And quite frankly -I don’t think you take anything seriously!
I take peoples money very seriously. I will take yours if I get near it.
It’s only fitting that this topic be bumped.
Health, I have news for you; whoever reads this gets the creeps, and doesn’t think very highly of the guy who started it. It’s in your best interest that this topic NOT be bumped.
Agreed.
DaasYochid: true say!!
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