Home › Forums › Controversial Topics › When asked Shiduch info: Do I have to tell the girls side that my friend smokes?
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December 25, 2011 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #838358popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Bar Shattya- You and pba are waaayyy to obsessed with skinny girls. I think it would be pretty funny if you marry a skinny girl and she gets fat after her first baby
Agree with Bar shattya. That is not funny. As much as it wouldn’t be funny if you bought a car and crashed it and died.
December 25, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #838359Bar ShattyaMemberre:pba
Yah and imagine how black your lungs would be THEN
December 25, 2011 11:03 pm at 11:03 pm #838360yitayningwutParticipantROTFL
December 26, 2011 12:25 am at 12:25 am #838361Bar ShattyaMemberre: yitayning
Glad we could service you.
December 26, 2011 12:47 am at 12:47 am #838362emunah613MemberYes, you should tell if a boy smokes. Besides for all of the health problems, smoking is now a very expensive habit which is addictive. It is only fair that in a society where a woman is meant to go to work while her husband learns Torah, she should be agreeable to spending the money she earns on cigarettes. Many girls do not realize how much cigarettes cost and get “burned” by the cost, especially when they discover how much of their hard earned salaries “go up in smoke”. If a boy smokes a pack a day, in Israel that is 23 Nis a day or nearly 700 shekel a month. If the average woman is making around 5000-7000 a month, that is quite significant! In the USA it is around $8.00 a pack and that equals nearly $240.00! Generous Starting Salaries in today’s economy are, let’s say between $500 and $1000 per week. That is still significant strain on a budget. Without disclosure a couple is heading for some major shalom bayis issues……
December 26, 2011 1:01 am at 1:01 am #838363Bar ShattyaMemberOne would think an eishes chayil would be thrilled to sacrifice a few frills to have someone proper to bring up her children.
December 26, 2011 1:31 am at 1:31 am #838364HealthParticipantwhatrutalkingabt -“Bar Shattya- You and pba are waaayyy to obsessed with skinny girls. I think it would be pretty funny if you marry a skinny girl and she gets fat after her first baby”
He wouldn’t have a problem if that occured because he could just have her take up smoking and that would help her lose weight!
December 26, 2011 1:40 am at 1:40 am #838365apushatayidParticipant“One would think an eishes chayil would be thrilled to sacrifice a few frills to have someone proper to bring up her children.”
One would. Problem is, the smoker won’t be around very long.
December 26, 2011 1:52 am at 1:52 am #838366A Sheep without a SpleenMember@ apushuta
yeah? how long will the fat girl be around? or the girl who lies about her age? Its so important how long they will be around? The older girl is definitely closer to dead.
December 26, 2011 2:15 am at 2:15 am #838367apushatayidParticipantWho asked you to date a fat girl or one who doesn’t show up with a certified copy of her birth certificate? In the mean time, girls will be sure to stay away from smokers.
December 26, 2011 2:18 am at 2:18 am #838368whatelseisleftMemberuh yeah?
its more important to know that the girl isnt a size 0 then to know that the boy can kill the girl?
yeah. didn’t think so.
December 26, 2011 2:19 am at 2:19 am #838369Bar ShattyaMemberfirstly, what makes you think the spleenless one is dating? His point is the liars and there are plenty of them. Way more than there are people who listen to the wedding takanos. hee hee hee.
December 26, 2011 2:21 am at 2:21 am #838370emunah613MemberNo one knows how long they have on this planet, as we have seen from all of the recent tragedies of this past year that happened to so many people.
And in many cases, smokers do live for a very long time.
Quality of life is what is changed for someone who smokes versus one who does not.
December 26, 2011 2:29 am at 2:29 am #838371Bar ShattyaMemberemunah
I smell something funny. Im going to check for your name in that tragedy thread.
December 26, 2011 2:30 am at 2:30 am #838372HealthParticipantemunah613 -“And in many cases, smokers do live for a very long time.”
And in many cases their time is cut short!
“Quality of life is what is changed for someone who smokes versus one who does not.”
How about explaining? Here is an example – Did you ever see a COPDer trying to take a few steps even with the O2 without huffing & puffing?
December 26, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #838373Bar ShattyaMemberhey look at that- I dint find your name there at all. In fact now that i had reason to look at such a morbid thread it turns out that it was just a joke. I guess i shouldnt have judged it by its name.
Anyhow, the point is why are we talking about death. Why do we need an actuary to evaluate our dates? Why cant we just marry the person who is best suited for us to help us fix our middos and quit it with all these external stupidities like death. marriage is not about death you know.
December 26, 2011 4:20 am at 4:20 am #838374HealthParticipantBar Shattya -Hey you got my topic closed down -you probably started up with a big Honcho.
December 26, 2011 4:28 am at 4:28 am #838375Bar ShattyaMemberhealth
do you want to elaborate on that?
December 26, 2011 11:47 am at 11:47 am #838376apushatayidParticipantIf you think someone is concealing any information from you, that you deem important, ask about it. If you are not satisfied with the answer and won’t get a more satisfactory answer, move on. The question posed here, is should you volunteer information, if not asked about it. I asked about one of these “deal breaker” type qualities and was told that if I knew for certain this is something (in this case) the girl calls a deal breaker, I must tell her even if she doesn’t ask about it, the reason I was given is that, since it is known they consider it a deal breaker, they don’t even ask about it, the Rav continued, has anyone ever asked if the prospective shidduch is shomer shabbos, it is assumed one would not suggest a mechallel shabbos so they don’t ask, same is true in the situation I asked about.
To mr spleen. In your situation, if I ever suggest a shidduch to you, I will be sure to foward certified copies of a birth certificate and most recent physical that includes height and weight, and of course a full frontal photo so you can be assured she isn’t fat or younger than stated.
December 26, 2011 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm #838377mytakeMemberSee, this is why I like the CR. Great place to hang out and marvel at Hashem’s wonders. They say that the idiots and fools in this world is just God’s sense of humor.
BTW- I personally wouldn’t marry a smoker. And I would only ask the boy himself whether or not he smokes.
December 26, 2011 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #838378HaKatanParticipantComparing smoking to a limp, CH”V? WTH? Are you serious? There is ZERO excuse to smoke. Ever. Not even a casual once in a while cigarette. It is chemically ADDICTIVE. That means that even if you think it’s only once in a while (which is anyways assur), it will become more than that.
Smoking is the only substance that, taken as directed, kills. On the ohter hand, Alcohol, which it is often compared to, does not kill, and in fact is supposed to be healthy in moderation. Like anything, it can be abused. But that’s different than smoking, which is addictive, *completely* unhealthy AND is also unhealthy for those around the smoker.
Also, a limp is noticeable on a first date. Smoking can be hidden until the first stress incident long after the marriage under false pretenses has occurred. And not every girl will ask, so that can’t be counted on.
Unless a reliable Rov says otherwise, do not withhold this information from a girl (or boy). It will just spread misery, CH”V, and is almost certainly violating lo saamod al dam reiacha as these poisons will be spread to the wife and babies (if the marriage makes it that long).
December 26, 2011 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #838379Disrael613MemberIt is a fact, and if he smokes then he is not ashamed of it and if he is ashamed then he shouldn’t be smoking. You should and must tell the girls side because it can be a make it or break it fact for the girl. When boys do it in the uniform it can create a cbillul Hashm!
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