When asked Shiduch info: Do I have to tell the girls side that my friend smokes?

Home Forums Controversial Topics When asked Shiduch info: Do I have to tell the girls side that my friend smokes?

Viewing 22 posts - 51 through 72 (of 72 total)
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  • #838358
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Bar Shattya- You and pba are waaayyy to obsessed with skinny girls. I think it would be pretty funny if you marry a skinny girl and she gets fat after her first baby

    Agree with Bar shattya. That is not funny. As much as it wouldn’t be funny if you bought a car and crashed it and died.

    #838359
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    re:pba

    Yah and imagine how black your lungs would be THEN

    #838360
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    ROTFL

    #838361
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    re: yitayning

    Glad we could service you.

    #838362
    emunah613
    Member

    Yes, you should tell if a boy smokes. Besides for all of the health problems, smoking is now a very expensive habit which is addictive. It is only fair that in a society where a woman is meant to go to work while her husband learns Torah, she should be agreeable to spending the money she earns on cigarettes. Many girls do not realize how much cigarettes cost and get “burned” by the cost, especially when they discover how much of their hard earned salaries “go up in smoke”. If a boy smokes a pack a day, in Israel that is 23 Nis a day or nearly 700 shekel a month. If the average woman is making around 5000-7000 a month, that is quite significant! In the USA it is around $8.00 a pack and that equals nearly $240.00! Generous Starting Salaries in today’s economy are, let’s say between $500 and $1000 per week. That is still significant strain on a budget. Without disclosure a couple is heading for some major shalom bayis issues……

    #838363
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    One would think an eishes chayil would be thrilled to sacrifice a few frills to have someone proper to bring up her children.

    #838364
    Health
    Participant

    whatrutalkingabt -“Bar Shattya- You and pba are waaayyy to obsessed with skinny girls. I think it would be pretty funny if you marry a skinny girl and she gets fat after her first baby”

    He wouldn’t have a problem if that occured because he could just have her take up smoking and that would help her lose weight!

    #838365
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “One would think an eishes chayil would be thrilled to sacrifice a few frills to have someone proper to bring up her children.”

    One would. Problem is, the smoker won’t be around very long.

    #838366

    @ apushuta

    yeah? how long will the fat girl be around? or the girl who lies about her age? Its so important how long they will be around? The older girl is definitely closer to dead.

    #838367
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Who asked you to date a fat girl or one who doesn’t show up with a certified copy of her birth certificate? In the mean time, girls will be sure to stay away from smokers.

    #838368

    uh yeah?

    its more important to know that the girl isnt a size 0 then to know that the boy can kill the girl?

    yeah. didn’t think so.

    #838369
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    firstly, what makes you think the spleenless one is dating? His point is the liars and there are plenty of them. Way more than there are people who listen to the wedding takanos. hee hee hee.

    #838370
    emunah613
    Member

    No one knows how long they have on this planet, as we have seen from all of the recent tragedies of this past year that happened to so many people.

    And in many cases, smokers do live for a very long time.

    Quality of life is what is changed for someone who smokes versus one who does not.

    #838371
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    emunah

    I smell something funny. Im going to check for your name in that tragedy thread.

    #838372
    Health
    Participant

    emunah613 -“And in many cases, smokers do live for a very long time.”

    And in many cases their time is cut short!

    “Quality of life is what is changed for someone who smokes versus one who does not.”

    How about explaining? Here is an example – Did you ever see a COPDer trying to take a few steps even with the O2 without huffing & puffing?

    #838373
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    hey look at that- I dint find your name there at all. In fact now that i had reason to look at such a morbid thread it turns out that it was just a joke. I guess i shouldnt have judged it by its name.

    Anyhow, the point is why are we talking about death. Why do we need an actuary to evaluate our dates? Why cant we just marry the person who is best suited for us to help us fix our middos and quit it with all these external stupidities like death. marriage is not about death you know.

    #838374
    Health
    Participant

    Bar Shattya -Hey you got my topic closed down -you probably started up with a big Honcho.

    #838375
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    health

    do you want to elaborate on that?

    #838376
    apushatayid
    Participant

    If you think someone is concealing any information from you, that you deem important, ask about it. If you are not satisfied with the answer and won’t get a more satisfactory answer, move on. The question posed here, is should you volunteer information, if not asked about it. I asked about one of these “deal breaker” type qualities and was told that if I knew for certain this is something (in this case) the girl calls a deal breaker, I must tell her even if she doesn’t ask about it, the reason I was given is that, since it is known they consider it a deal breaker, they don’t even ask about it, the Rav continued, has anyone ever asked if the prospective shidduch is shomer shabbos, it is assumed one would not suggest a mechallel shabbos so they don’t ask, same is true in the situation I asked about.

    To mr spleen. In your situation, if I ever suggest a shidduch to you, I will be sure to foward certified copies of a birth certificate and most recent physical that includes height and weight, and of course a full frontal photo so you can be assured she isn’t fat or younger than stated.

    #838377
    mytake
    Member

    See, this is why I like the CR. Great place to hang out and marvel at Hashem’s wonders. They say that the idiots and fools in this world is just God’s sense of humor.

    BTW- I personally wouldn’t marry a smoker. And I would only ask the boy himself whether or not he smokes.

    #838378
    HaKatan
    Participant

    Comparing smoking to a limp, CH”V? WTH? Are you serious? There is ZERO excuse to smoke. Ever. Not even a casual once in a while cigarette. It is chemically ADDICTIVE. That means that even if you think it’s only once in a while (which is anyways assur), it will become more than that.

    Smoking is the only substance that, taken as directed, kills. On the ohter hand, Alcohol, which it is often compared to, does not kill, and in fact is supposed to be healthy in moderation. Like anything, it can be abused. But that’s different than smoking, which is addictive, *completely* unhealthy AND is also unhealthy for those around the smoker.

    Also, a limp is noticeable on a first date. Smoking can be hidden until the first stress incident long after the marriage under false pretenses has occurred. And not every girl will ask, so that can’t be counted on.

    Unless a reliable Rov says otherwise, do not withhold this information from a girl (or boy). It will just spread misery, CH”V, and is almost certainly violating lo saamod al dam reiacha as these poisons will be spread to the wife and babies (if the marriage makes it that long).

    #838379
    Disrael613
    Member

    It is a fact, and if he smokes then he is not ashamed of it and if he is ashamed then he shouldn’t be smoking. You should and must tell the girls side because it can be a make it or break it fact for the girl. When boys do it in the uniform it can create a cbillul Hashm!

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