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I went to a family member for the Seudah. I washed early so I could drink a little but still be ok later to drive home. The family member I was at got good and drunk. I don’t really like him when he’s drunk (which is only on Purim). Last year, when a bottle of wine got finished, he would take it and throw it across the table. One broke and some glass hit my face, about 2 inches away from my eye.
This year, my 2 year old daughter was walking behind his chair and he began to lean back. I said, “Be careful, she’s walking behind your chair, don’t hurt her!” He said to me that I was being overprotective, and that if her head got banged into the wall a few times it wasn’t so bad, and wouldn’t cause any permanent damage. He said it’s part of being a kid, and while it might give her a headache for a few days, it wouldn’t last.
I told my wife that we were leaving the seudah early. I wasn’t sticking around there anymore.
Feif Un:
Feif Un,
I think that you should avoid that family member for Purim. That or get up and beat him senseless. He clearly has little regard for other peoples health and life, so reciprocate. Better yet, just avoid him. If he asks why, just tell him the truth of how mean and dangerous he is.
At my seudah, there was this one guy who was filling huge buckets with wine and forcing people to drink the entire thing.
dont go next year he is out of control
nichnas yayin yatza sod,
It seems like he doesn’t care for other people getting damaged and you were right to leave early
I had 18 people at my table including my little aineklach. I cooked and cooked, and it was gevaldig to have such a full house, which included my brother and family, whom I don’t get to see nearly as often as I would like, as well as three friends who would have been alone for Purim otherwise. It was a wonderful meal, if I say so myself, and extremely leibedig and fun.
I think this was my best purim yet!
Thank you shticky guy!
I didn’t throw up and I got drunk and it even put me to sleep (yet i missed maariv 🙁 )
MBachur: How did you not throw up? My husband tried everything, but every year he throws up, and I can’t take it. I don’t mind when he’s high… but it’s not worth it afterward when he’s throwing up and feeling sick like a dog.
One thing I can’t understand is how they do it again every year. I understand the first time when you don’t realize what’s coming. But after feeling so sick, how can one bare to drink again. (And it’s not like he dreads it, he gets excited every year! How do I remind him what it felt like?????
How do I remind him what it felt like?????
It depends why you are reminding him.
If it is because you feel bad for him, then tell him that.
But if it is because you don’t like him drinking, I don’t think you should mention that he doesn’t like being sick.
I think it is important to be level with people when trying to convince them to do something. If you really don’t like it yourself, you shouldn’t pretend that you are motivated only by concern for him. You should tell him it bothers you.
Otherwise, you will be annoyed at him for drinking, when you have not even told him it bothers you.
We started the seuda late because someone asked to come over to hear megilla when I leined for my grandmother and then got delayed. The seuda itself was great. Great company, great food, great wine. Afterwards I went to a chassidishe purim seuda at the local shtibel. First time I ever went to one of those and it was a very good experience. I got to dance off the effects of outdrinking our russian guest.
umm:
“MBachur: How did you not throw up? My husband tried everything, but every year he throws up, and I can’t take it. I don’t mind when he’s high… but it’s not worth it afterward when he’s throwing up and feeling sick like a dog.”
Drink only dry wine. Also, drink water along with the wine (this helps both the nausea and the feeling sick afterward). And if he’s about to throw up, have him eat pickles. Don’t ask me why this works, but it does.
“One thing I can’t understand is how they do it again every year. I understand the first time when you don’t realize what’s coming. But after feeling so sick, how can one bare to drink again.”
Ah, the misiras nefesh we have to do a mitzva…
ItcheSrulik:
“I got to dance off the effects of outdrinking our russian guest.”
Wow, duly impressed…
I had 30 people over for the seuda and more people coming and going. I was busy running around giving people buckets to throw up in and I didnt have any liquor out they came drunk from before. I did get angry when one person threw up on my almost new couch and carpet. I want to send them the bill for the cleaning. Other than that it was a really nice purim.
Even though we usually think of the gemara’s wine as being very different from our own, the real difference was quantity. In those days they drank it like water because water was rarely safe. The only time we drink like they did is on purim so it might be worthwhile to follow all the advice in the gemara about how to properly dilute wine so you don’t get sick. If I remember I’ll try it next year.
mw13: Thank you.
At my seudah, there was this one guy who was filling huge buckets with wine and forcing people to drink the entire thing…
Poppa: you had ‘puskas’ at your ??????????
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mbachur: thanx for what? Help with choice of Wines?
YES, I probably couldn’t have gotten drunk without you
mbachur: Any time! Just next time you’re paying, ok? :0)
“MBachur: How did you not throw up? My husband tried everything, but every year he throws up, and I can’t take it. I don’t mind when he’s high… but it’s not worth it afterward when he’s throwing up and feeling sick like a dog.
One thing I can’t understand is how they do it again every year. I understand the first time when you don’t realize what’s coming. But after feeling so sick, how can one bare to drink again. (And it’s not like he dreads it, he gets excited every year! How do I remind him what it felt like?????“
Sorry I’m twelve years too late in answering
Drink one cup of wine then one cup of water and have food along with it, will get you tipsy but not so drunk that you throw up
Drunk
“Drink one cup of wine then one cup of water and have food along with it, will get you tipsy but not so drunk that you throw up“
🤢 sorry, should have added and eat more bread
I’ve accepted that throwing up is part of the experience and that I feel better after. But it’s still very important to pace yourself throughout the day, hydrate, make sure to have sufficient food in your stomach as you’re drinking, and pickles help.
Busy making other people’s Purim Happy
I had a very nice Purim. I happened to be in Far Rockaway for part of the day, and was able to go see my Rebbe, R’ Bender. I had the seudah with a family member. I drank a small amount of wine so that I’d be able to drive home after. My wife and daughter enjoyed it as well.
DaMoshe: How “small” was the amount of wine you drank and what leads you to believe that it is small enough that you can drive after consummating it?
Joseph, I didn’t “consummate” any wine.
I had about half a cup of Moscato. I know about how much alcohol one can consume and legally be allowed to drive. I drink less than that amount to be extra careful. I also drink it early in the meal, so that by the time I’m ready to drive, there is no doubt that I’m fine.Joseph,
Better look up that word in a dictionary. You once again proved by example that High School secular studies is a vital component of being a well-adjusted frum Jew in this country.
DaMoshe: While .08 puts you unambiguously over the legal limit, any amount of alcohol consumption inhibits your ability to drive and reduces your inhibitions, reaction time and vision. You can be arrested for DUI even if you are under the limit and for safety reasons (even if you think you won’t be arrested) you should refrain from driving after any alcohol, even if you are under the limit.
I blacked out for the sake of the mitzveh and the police were called.
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