Home › Forums › Shidduchim › What to Talk About on a Bishow
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September 21, 2010 1:09 am at 1:09 am #698624pascha bchochmaParticipant
MR- Actually in order to have a healthy emotional relationship the husband NEEDS to talk with his wife. That’s the whole purpose of Shana Rishona – to “hang out” together as you put it. It’s because a healthy relationship is based on communication and trust, and talking is the way we build communication. Of course you can “stam talk” too much but you need to just “stam talk” in order to have a healthy marriage.
it’s like small talk for politeness. It’s a way of building a relationship. No one wants to be viewed as a business partner in building a home. You want to be cared about, and that means that things that seem unimportant to the world, if they are important to the wife, they should be important to the husband. And vice versa.
September 21, 2010 1:32 am at 1:32 am #698625mosheroseMember“MR- Actually in order to have a healthy emotional relationship the husband NEEDS to talk with his wife.”
Of course. You need to talk about things you need to run the house. What schools, doctors appointments, what types of windows to put in, what to budget so on. But not to stam shmooze.
September 21, 2010 1:45 am at 1:45 am #698626pascha bchochmaParticipantMR – You ignored the rest of my post where I wrote about a healthy emotional relationship. There is no such thing as “stam shmoozing”. When you say, “Hi How are you how was your day”, this is not stam shmoozing. It’s the way your friend/ spouse/ anyone you will ever know in your life, knows that they are important to you.
September 21, 2010 9:10 am at 9:10 am #698627kapustaParticipantOf course. You need to talk about things you need to run the house. What schools, doctors appointments, what types of windows to put in, what to budget so on. But not to stam shmooze.
I happen not to agree, but putting that aside for a minute, have you actually seen a couple that does not “stam shmooze” have a successful, productive marriage?
October 5, 2010 12:58 am at 12:58 am #698628mosheroseMember“I happen not to agree, but putting that aside for a minute, have you actually seen a couple that does not “stam shmooze” have a successful, productive marriage? “
I dont know what goes on behind couples closed doors but I do know people who are real yarei shamayim and they wouldnt so bluntly go against something so open in pirke avos. I do know that I never saw my parents stam shmooze.
October 5, 2010 1:03 am at 1:03 am #698629pet peeveMemberMR, for some reason, i find that very, very hard to believe. in fact, i find something “off” about your whole premise.
October 5, 2010 4:09 am at 4:09 am #698630popa_bar_abbaParticipantI don’t usually take Mosherose seriously.
Do any of you think it is worth discussing whether married couples should have a relationship, or if they should only discuss where the towels are?
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