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mod 42 says “take [your aravos] out and whack them against the chazan”
One person I respect suggested we should throw our esrogim at him.
What are your suggestions? Should someone go up, place his shtender next to the amud and go louder and faster?
I think this is a situation of “Kanoim pogin bo”.
Nothing. Stand like a mentch your in a shull. Its a house of prayer!
Find yourself a minyan that davens with your desired speed.
Why not yell
Anah Hashem Hoshea Nah?
I think its hard for him to behave when hes frustrated
Bar shatya is frustrated because he lost his nechasim, and every time he reads about the nesachim in the laining he gets confused and thinks they are his.
just dont make the bimah nifgam if you throw your esrogim.
On Shabbos Chol Hamoed the minhag is to throw siddurim instead of esrogim or aravos
The mishna says they threw esrogim at a certain tzeduki who did the wrong nisuch hamayim. josephus mentions astory where they pelted Yannai hamelech with esrogim, who got his revenge by ordering a massacre.
Start a new song with the guys (or girls, depending on your shul) in the back row.
Nothing gets a chazzan’s attention faster than competetion
Call him a jerk?
we had a chazzan go too long on Hoshana rabba one year, so my uncle (everyone has ONE uncle who does these things) gave him a ‘gezunteh shtoch’ in the rear with his lulov during Hoshanas! Wheeew, did he burn some wicked laps around the shul for the rest of the davening!! l tell ya, I’d put down any money he still feels that poke till today….LOL
…y’know what they say; desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Stand next to him and daven louder then he does!
What bunch of mean people!
Politley tell him to accelerate.
daven at an earlier minyan, go to his house and eat all the food at his seuda. he’ll be sure to shave an hour off his time 2nd day YT.
If he’s shlepping just a bit, grin and bear it.
If he thinks he’s HaSh-m’s gift to chazzanus, and he’s really going overboard, maybe try discreetly going up to the bimah or shtender where he’s davening and putting your watch next to his machzor. Hopefully he’ll take the hint.
We are lucky enough to have the opportunity to say Hallel and Hoshanos. If it is too slow for you, stay home.
i know you are all joking, or at least, that is my sincere hope, but come on people! i’m with 2scents here. you all sound really mean!i thought ur all better than that! even if you don’t mean it, it just doesn’t sound nice. and besides, behind every little joke, there is a bit of truth…
1- Get everyone who already finished to dance around him singing ???? ?? ??? ??? ????
2- Scream Ana Hashem Hoshiya Na
3- Take a clock off the wall and put it over his siddur. (Don’t use a watch. you won’t get it back)
4- Start krias hatorah/hoshanos without him
5- Sing ???? ??? when he finally finishes.
6-Flip him over backwards (minhag chabad)
” go to his house and eat all the food “
Good one, Toi!
leave and make a breakaway minyan outside. when everyone leaves he’ll get the hint
Personally, I love Hallel – the longer the better, because at my shul that means more singing and the tunes we use are beautiful. The Chazzan could take a half hour and it would be fine with me. I love any holiday that has a full (as opposed to Hatzi) Hallel.
at my shul that means more singing and the tunes we use are beautiful.
Are you trying to recruit us?
Bar shatya, he might not notice thatg you left. However you have accomplished what you need. Which is that you will finnish early.
Who cares if the chazon realizes it or not. Unless your in for some attention.
jo- its a tosefta.
the poskim write that an overly shleppy chazzan can be removed. V. mishna brura 529:1.
dont go to minyan
It depends how long he’s taking. If he has the chutzpah to take longer than two minutes to finish hallel, and you’re upset at that, then there are serious problems. If he’s taking twenty minutes, and you have to go to work (on Chol Shel Moed, which you’re not supposed to do anyway), then daven at a different minyan. And don’t throw esrogim at him, you might break the pitom.
re: when they pelted the tzeduki with esrogim.
There is some historical confusion as to who exactly this was.
Josephus is not always to be completely accepted.
itch- 2 points for #5
You’re allowed to use an esrog with a broken pitom after the first day. It came up in shul this morning.
<SIGH>
is everyone ready for hoshana rabba? the reason we beat the ground is to show the chazzan we mean business
Spleenless sheep-
You remind me A LOT of Popa. Another bro?
they are both not real people. they are workers in starbucks.
Thanks for responding Shattya. Nice to meet your family 😉
Yeah, they all have a similar way of writing. Semi sarcastic witty and humorous.
they are both not real people. they are workers in starbucks.
I do work in starbucks. However, I am not paid by starbucks. It is like a mishmar shaila.
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