what to do?

Why don’t you like them? i think the reasons matter as to what action should be taken.

Ask yourself what you should do if your husband doesn’t like your very best friend (and her spouse), and apply that answer to yourself.

Why dont you try and meet one on one with her maybe go out to lunch with her it may give you a better chance to connect when your not in the group dynamic, as far as him taking advantage of your husband you have to ask yourself what does your husband get out of their friendship maybe its not so one sided.

Hi cshapiro.

I guess the first two things would be to see it as either, a. let it be the worst problem to deal with, or b. it’s a kappara to “try” to let it be for the sake of your husband.

I know it’s not easy to shrug off things like this, and your instincts are probably right, and your husband said he does not mind doing more helping out than he is getting in return, so, the only thing I can say is that they probably dont spend that much “actual” time in your life, so when you cringe at the “assumption” you have to deal with them a long time, then dont think that. (I know that is not easy either.)

I think I once read in a book, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, by Dale Carnegie Hall or Deli, I forget which, but he had something in there like imagine what is giving you upsetting thoughts going inside an elevator. Then picture the elevator doors closing and the object of your thoughts are no longer seen. Practice that over and over to mitigate the emotional connection to the object…something like that.

Hatzlacha!!

cshapiro –

Yeah, I get the picture.

It sounds like it’s something that’s not going away, and silence might not work here. So talk to him. I think the best way to say it is to make it about you. Keep in mind that people don’t enjoy when you put down their friends. So don’t try to convince him with example upon example about how much of a moron his friend is, even if he is. Say that you don’t feel comfortable because your personality clashes with his and his wife’s, etc. And be supportive of him, give alternative ideas for who to hang out with, and so on. Good luck.

cs, the fact taht your husband picked up and left on purim when he saw his friends wife would not come out is a good sign. it shows that he values you over the friend. if you go there again ask your husband in a nice loving way to please be aware of the behavior and /or lack of friendliness toward you.

i get the feeling he will come around though it might take some time. if he is in business with the guy they can always do a business lunch or dinner on their own and not hae to do home visits. good luck.

dont yell, threaten or throw a tantrum..its gonna get better.

your hubby will see the light.

🙂