- This topic has 14 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 2 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
At what point is it customary for the girl to meet the parents of the boy?
(Regular litvish/yeshivish people)
Is there an approximate date number? Or at what point in the relationship?
Thanks in advance!
Well, by litvish/yeshivish people the entire dating process is relatively quick, with couples getting engaged often by the sixth or so date. (Give or take.) So meeting the parents after the fourth or fifth date would be fairly routine.
not before the 3rd or 4th date minimum.
other then that it really depends on how close the boy feels with the girl & to decide if there is a future ahead together. in that case it means he should be ready to introduce her to his parents
HATZLACHA
From what I understand, parents of the boy usually meet the girl when they’re basically ready to get engaged. But that’s only on hearsay, based on what happened with my friends.
With all the craziness that goes on in todays shidduchim, im surprised the boys parents dont date the girl 1st before their son meets her.
apushutayid- there are parents of boys who insist on meeting the girl before their son meets her. I don’t think it’s a common thing, but it happens.
My friend’s sister once ended up meeting two sets of parents in the same week. She had dated a boy 5 or 6 times and met his parents, but the shidduch didn’t work out. A few days later, a boy said yes, but his parents wanted to meet her before she went out with their son. So she met his parents.. B’H that shidduch worked out, and they are married with a baby.
I’ve heard stories where the parents staked out a location the girl is known to be so they can surreptitiously spy her. I’ve heard of this being done either before they agreed to go out or after a few dates.
Sorry, no advice from me here, because I didn’t “shidduch date.”
The first time I met my father-in-law was when he was sitting shiva for his father. Eeees and I had been dating for about a month in a half when her grandfather passed away. At that point, the only member of her family whom I had met was her younger sister (and that was only because she was there the day we met). So, I went to be menachem avel. It was a pleasant meeting (at least as pleasant as nichum aveilim gets). Apparently I impressed her parents that day.
The Wolf
“I’ve heard stories where the parents staked out a location the girl is known to be so they can surreptitiously spy her.”
I guess these people have too much time on their hands.
I’ve heard stories where the parents staked out a location the girl is known to be so they can surreptitiously spy her.
This happened to a neighbor of mine. Very creepy.
The Wolf
by chassidim, the boys parents meet the girl first and vs versa.
Only then do the boy and girl meet. Sometimes the boys parents accompany him to the first date and both sets of parents and boy and girl are present, they all shmooze a little and then the parents go home and the boy and girl meet.
This makes a lot of sense to me, but maybe bec it was the way i was brought up.
As the father of B”H six married children (4 boys, 2 girls) we met the girl after the fourth or fifth date(depending on where the relationship had progressed to). Our son told the girl we would like to meet her. We met them during the course of a date, at whatever location or activity our son had chosen. We spent approximately 10 minutes “shmoozing” and then left. It was just to see if there were any “vibes” parents pick up on. B”H our sons ALL CHOSE WELL 🙂
So now tell us after which date will the parental meeting be held?
I think that Justbecause must be thinking the boy and the girl’s parents live in the same metro area.
We live out of town (Connecticut) Our son dated both at Yeshiva in NY and in Israel. It would have been very inconvenient for us to have a set number of dates after which we would require meeting the girl.
He ended up marrying a girl he was set up with while in Israel, we met her at JFK when she had a layover flying back from Israel and changing planes for Miami. I have no idea if they had been on 4 dates or 10. We met her for 90 minutes. We then had a long phone conversation with our son and made arrangements to fly to Florida and meet her parents.
OTOH, our daughters went to school in NYC. If they reached the stage of wanting to go out a 4th time with a boy, we would drive in on a Sunday afternoon to meet him for coffee. In both daughters’ cases they ended up marrying brothers of their school room mates and had already met the parents when they came to bring their daughters to school or when our girls went as guests to the room mates homes.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.