What is the right mindset?

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  • #604417
    SaysMe
    Member

    So here’s my story today. I had a driving test this morning. Yesterday we took our car in to fix the horn for the test, and checked everything else to be working. I was running late. Got to my test and the instructor said my right brake light was dead. I zoomed to the mechanic and got it replaced, then went back to get another test. i asked if they could waive the charge since i was back 35 inutes later, but no. after 45 minutes the new tester came out, and………. my car wouldnt start. there went fee #2. Someone offered a boost when his car got back, only to discover 25 minutes later that he didnt have cables. After waiting an hour more for someone to bring me our other car for the test, and them not showing up, i called a really special friend who came and resued me.

    So, was it just not my day? Should i have seen the bad mazel and headed home after the first issue? was it hishtadlus to keep coming back or just irrational? was it wrong to ask them to have pity and waive the fees, and i should have accepted it as a loss that was meant to happen? Or only after the fact to say gam zu l’tovah and i was meant to lose $100+ today? And when i head back to boost and rescue my car, should i try for another test??

    #889916
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Can I get back to you after Shabbos?

    #889917
    2scents
    Participant

    I don’t think that “it’s not my day” is the right way of thinking.

    #889918
    Curiosity
    Participant

    Don’t take this the wrong way but…Chazal say that the money you were supposed to give to tzdaka every year but didn’t, often just gets taken away another way. We’re approaching Rosh Hashana & Yom Kippur, so maybe it was a kaparah.

    #889919
    SaysMe
    Member

    curiosity- thanks. Not taking it the wrong way. And really, the money part was the easiest part for me to accept. I was meant to lose it, ok. But the agmas nefesh, if i can call it that, the frustrations got to me. But putting the money aside, should i have tried a third time? (i didn’t in the end. I had no strength to go through another thing if it were to happen.)

    #889920
    yytz
    Participant

    When something bad happens, we say gamzu l’tovah (Shulchan Aruch OC 230:5), but we also examine our deeds. According to Chazal even the most trivial inconveniences are sent by Hashem as punishment (Shabbos 55a). In In Forest Fields by Rav Shalom Arush, I believe he gives many examples of something bad happening, the person taking a minute to search his deeds, find something wrong and do teshuvah, and then the “bad thing” completely resolves itself. (Rav Arush even applies this to such things as putting children to bed — if they’re misbehaving, he’ll examine his deeds and do teshuvah, and once he’s done the kids stop acting up.)

    In terms of whether you should keep trying when things don’t go your way — I would keep trying unless you’re too exhausted and need a break. Ask Hashem what to do — perhaps that will clarify things. (See the Bilvavi seforim for discussions of the role of personal prayer in everyday mundane situations; Breslov seforim also have a lot of information on how we should relate to “hints” that Hashem sends us throughout the day).

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