I use a nice woven candle (Ner Mitzvah), besomim with ezov, out of the bottle, and I use grape juice. I don’t have a havdalah set, although when, please G-d, I get married, a havdalah set is something I’d like to have (my parents just feel that it isn’t necessary).
The minhag in Belz was to amke havdala on a bare table – without even a plate under the becher, since the overflowing wine symblizes brocho, it was thought best that it overflow onto the table.
The present belzer rebbe stopped this minhag, but many talmidim of the previous rebbe do do it, as does the rebbe of Belz-Machnovka
My kid made a havdala place mat which we hold the candle over. otherwise I make havdala on beer, grapejuice, or wine in my siver kiddush becher over a plastic plate, and whole cloves straight off the grocery shelf for besomim.
Although we received a havdala set by my chasuna, my wife isn’t interested in polishing more silver, so we don’t use it. Which is totally fine with me.
We make it over somebodies dorm room floor on bad wine in a coffee cup. The avuka is two candles held together and besamim comes from some plants outside. (I’m in a dorm)
A silver becher (a wedding present) on a ceramic plate. The candle is held over a napkin. There’s a wooden bsamim holder. The candle is put out in the grape juice left over on the plate.