R’ Moshe Feinstein defines “Ben Torah” in a Teshuvah. He says that nowadays anyone who works cannot be called a ben torah. Sounds harsh, but that is what he writes. Unequivocally.
Perhaps we feel insulted by this idea because many of us were taught that being a good erlicheh baalabus is something to be ashamed of.
I don’t rmember the Teshuvah # offhand, but check Yad Moshe. You will find it.