I had a disagreement with a household member, and I want some perspective:
If I tell somebody “Call before you come over” does it sound like “Yeah, you can absolutely come over, but call to let us know that you’re on your way” or does it sound like “I’m not sure if you can come over or not, so call before you come so I can clear it up then” ?
Call before you come over means you are granting them permission to come over but want some time to make sure the house is in order, call me at 7 pm and ill let you know would be appropriate if you are not sure yet. Its vague enough to leave room for doubt.
Call before you come over means:
Call me and check and see if it is a convenient time for you to visit. It is not permission to just call and notify that you are on your way.
Call me and tell me that you are on your way over; means I expect you and you are letting me know to expect you in XXX amount of time based on distance, traffic, etc.
cuould be B but depending on context could be A sometimes.
Went to pick up my friend one night. Was outside his house so i text him “here” and he replies “comin”. I thought he said “come in” so i just walked right in. Only found out after i introduced myself to his father and we both left.
In addition, you also have to keep in mind that to some extent these things have to do with personality and what the individuals are used to.
So even phrasing it Goq’s way may not be enough for some people. There are some people who are very chilled-out by nature and may themselves have a very open home (and maybe a lot of their friends are like that), so the concept that some people have a different mentality may be very foreign to them and it may have to be expressed much more clearly. And even then, you may have to be accept the fact that they may not “get it”.