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please don’t brush this off with a “dont worry what u wear, just be yourself” line because my nerves can NOT handle that right now.
i need some good old fashioned advice.
dates number 1 and 2 were in a hotel lobby, so i dressed more dressy.
do i dress dressy on the 3rd too?
is the 3rd date typicaly also a lobby date?
what number date do you get more casual and nix the lobby?
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelppppp!
Is it possible for you to find out where you’re going on your next date so you can prepare accordingly and not have your nerves shot?
If you’re going to a lobby you would dress for that kind of ambience, if you were going to the zoo you might want to dress a little differently.
why does it say 4 posts, when there are only 2??
qwerty, cause 2 more were deleted.
qwerty: idk its messed p
just noticing how much better it is to b a guy all u do is shave throw n a suit and ur done 🙂
my advice is dont worry what you wear, just be yourself 🙂
joseph: thanx, i figured but now it’s fixed.
Usually by the third date you would not be going somewhere too fancy- but why don’t you get the shadchan to ask the guy? (note: it would have been nice of him to give you the heads up but I guess everyone’s different…)
usually the first 2 or 3 is in a lobby.
Belev – Go for a nice classy weekday look.
Most do not do the lobby thing on a 3rd date. During the day, you may go to some outdoor/indoor attraction, evenings may be out to eat…
maybe he’ll come on this thread and tell you. that would be funny 🙂
3rd date dress in btwn!! Not too fancy not too casual!
Others have suggested that you ask the shadchan. That’s not out of the ordinary. Besides, it’s good to work on good communication skills-an absolute necessity in marriage as I’m sure you know.
I would suggest perhaps something that you might wear on choel Hamoed or Motzaie shabbos to a Melave Malka-not Yom tov or Shabbos clothing- A nice top and sweater.Just make sure that what ever you wear you look put together and you look good in what you are wearing.
Don’t make yourself nuts and Hatzlacha Rabba!
Just dress in a comfortable, classy way, maybe a nice sweater set and skirt. comfortable but attractive shoes. It would help if you knew where you were going. Out to dinner is different from the local pizza shop. Have fun.
ahhh, now these replys are better.
Your mistake: not specifying female replies only! 😉
lol beacon! true!
blev echad – b’hatzlacha! just make sure whatever you wear looks good on you and your ready to go!
keep us posted with the goings!
Belev Echad: hatzlacha!!!! keep us posted!!!!
flatbush: haha i was going to say that but i figured id b nice 😛
Your mistake: not specifying female replies only! 😉
what? u dont think the men gave good advice?? 😛
Who goes to a Pizza Shop on a date?!
belev echad: hatzlachah, and lett us know how it went.$
All other things being equal*, why should what you wear on a third or fourth date be any different than what you wear on a first or second date?
The Wolf
* By which I mean the venue, weather, etc.
K this is the list I got:
1. Dress to KILL-stunning gorgeous dress like going to a wedding. all the guy is doing on the first date is checking you out.
2. Dress really nice and classy, either a nice suit or simpler dress. I would stay away from the whole suit look, go dresses…more feminine
3. This is what you decide if your going sporty or not. Either a purty shabbos outfit or weekday like classy blazer, sweater and gr8 skirt
4. Nice weekday, I go with black sweater, gold belt and gold jewelry
5,6,7. Be yourself completely but look put together i.e. weekday clothes, but nice jewelry, hair etc.
8. Lchaim!! Mazal tov!
lol gluk I hope I didn’t give myself away
Who goes to a Pizza Shop on a date?!
I did. And she even married me too.
The Wolf
wear on date what you would wear to a bris knowing that you would have no time to go home and change before work. that way you’ll be sharp and functional.
my shadow. im surprised the mods let number one of your list through. i dont think frum guys think the way you think they do.
flatbush, you’re so naive
myshadow: ha real funny!!!
moish. looks are definitely taken into consideration when dating obviously but on the first date i dont think “all the guy is doing on the first date is checking you out.” people these days realize that there are more important things on dates to do than check each other out
My shadow: u made me laugh from ur list!! While I agree with number one (didn’t really read past that lol) ill have to disagree, guys don’t like wen a girl is TOO dressed up, like for a wedding. Too much make up, the clothes is too much for them. U can dress to kill but not like for a wedding on a date, don’t wear to much makeup- guys hate that especially foundation
Haha moish!!!
moish01: its good 2 hear it from a guy, not just a rumor
Flatbush: its actually the opposite, FIRST the guy sees if he likes the way she looks THEN he gets to know her
wear a beautiful outfit.
Belev echad: ha don’t worry maybe u rubed ur eyes in the car on the way home???????
myshadow: “Dress to KILL”?? That is pure pritzus gamur.
Like Phyliss implied, a Pizza shop is inappropriate for a date.
hey, i’m no Brisker. but i can’t imagine them being much different.
Belev Echad: ha funny!!! hatzlacha!!
joseph, you must be old. i gather that’s an expression used between girls.
Belev Echad, don’t you all look like raccoons when you wear all that makeup junk on your eyes?
belev echad, omg im rolling sorry!! I’m sure you looked stunning!!
moish, good to hear the truth from a guy
flatbush, yes unfortunately that’s all the couple is doing on a date, if a boy thinks a girl is unattractive the first five minutes, then the date is over
joseph sorry bout the expression, is dress to attract any better?
Sigh.
All I can say is that every time I come across shidduch threads such as this, I give many thanks to the Ribbono Shel Olam that I met my bashert on my own.
I didn’t have to deal with the “rules” over which party is supposed to say “yes” first, what has to be worn on which date, where we have to go on a particular number date, what things “pasul” a potential shidduch, the extensive detective work to determine if her summer camp counselor was acceptable, etc. We met, both knew within a few weeks that we were for each other and that was that.
If it works for you, great — but there is no way that this would have worked for me — and I thank HKBH for sparing me all of it.
The Wolf
If I had a choice between being hungry on a date, sitting for meaningless hours in a lounge, or having a slice of pizza, the pizza wins every time. And I HAVE been there. Long time ago, perhaps, but guys were just as clueless in those days as some of them are now. 😛
The Wolf,
I agree, the shidduch system is not for me. I have an issue with the “he has this defect, she has this defect, perfect match” concept. Think its not true? My deaf sister was redt to someone who is blind. Sure, he was a great guy, but talk about communication problems! My sister married a wonderful hearing guy and they are happily married BH. Her friend’s mother set them up. Ultimately it worked, but the journey was a little crazy.
I don’t mind the rules of dating so much – it gives people a way to prepare. Imagine being anxious about the date AND the process. It works for many people to have strict rules to follow. [Not for me though!]
The Wolf,
No need to be so formal. “Wolf” is just fine. 🙂
The Wolf
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