What can we learn from a tragedy like this?

Kudos to you for putting it out there so clearly. I agree completely. Regrets are worthless, Take your heads out of the sand and be pro-active. Start protecting the children, think only about the children and how to keep them safe and stop worrying so much about the adults who should know better.

we should learn that from such a gr8 boy he brought togheter ???” everybody worked toghter

a mamin, you were a little harsh in your response, IMO. Yichusdik did not sound accusatory as you imply. What Yichusdik said is correct in every way. Although you are correct that Hashem is in charge, we have to put our own efforts into our lives and safety.

If you jump off a building, Hashem probably will allow you to break your neck. If a young child is allowed to walk home from camp, it may or may not be a good idea and he may or may not get into difficulty. In this case it unfortunately had a tragic ending. It could have easily gone the other way, too, where he would have safely found his way and met up with his mother. We cannot comprehend why this terrible tragedy occurred, but there is no question that as parents we are obliged to talk to our kids and spell out b’feirush that there are vildeh chayehs out there, sometimes wolves in sheep’s clothing (apologies to Wolfish Musings)who appear kind and nice, but are still dangerous.

While we don’t want to turn our kids into terrified little wusses, neither can we ignore the obvious. Sometimes monsters have pleasant faces. A stranger is someone you and your family do not know very well, and you don’t go ANYWHERE with ANYONE. Prayer is a good thing, but prayer alone will not teach our kids the skills they need to be street smart.

The bottom line is that you can’t trust strangers and you don’t keep secrets from Mommy because strangers are not the only “evil” people out there, they can also be people you know. And I am going to say loud and clear and it is up to the mods if they let it through or not and I hope they do. If the message is that is told over and over again that you are not to go to the police we will never be able to protect little kids like “Leiby” even though we know who the perps are!

It is NOT logical that little Leiby is the first victim he went after. He would NOT have been so brave to take a child back to his own home where his neighbors and parents could have seen if this was his first offense. Furthermore the police said they are not sure if “they exchanged words” in the video. That would mean that Leiby knew him and just followed him to his car. What does that tell you? That would tell you that Leiby knew him, and that wasn’t the first time they met. It would also suggest that it was Levi that pushed Leiby to ask his parents to allow him to walk home alone. AND that he was NOT lost but he purposely walked directly to 18th Ave to meet him.

Rav Nosson Weisz wrote an article about how do deal with a tragedy. I got it from aish.com it’s Parshas Chukas under advanced and Mayanot – the title “The Tragedy of Tragedy” here’s a part that I think deals with how to deal with this horrific tragedy:

CAUSE OF INNOCENT DEATHS

Rav Dessler in his eulogy of the Chazon Ish expressed a thought that can be applied as an approach to this problem. When a believer in Divine Providence is witness to a tragedy in which innocent victims lose their lives, his reaction should inspire him to follow a certain train of logic:

Step 1: The people who died were deserving of life at least as much as I, if not more. I believe that God runs the world and that He is just. It follows, therefore, that if they suffered such tragic untimely deaths — and I am no better or more deserving than they — that I should also have suffered a similar fate. But I know that I have committed no crime that deserves such severe punishment. Logic therefore dictates that they did not die as a punishment for their sins. But if so where is Divine Justice?

Step 2: As the victims did not lose their lives to atone for their personal sins, and yet as God is just, they must have suffered justly, therefore, it follows that their deaths are an indication that there is something seriously wrong with my society. My society must be infected with the disease of unjustifiable cruelty toward some of its members. I know that the punishments of God are “measure for measure.” In a world run by God, a society that is functioning as it ought, would be protected from senseless evil. Senseless evil that occurs in the outside world is a certain indication that we the Jewish people are practicing senseless evil against each other.

Step 3: It follows that God allowed this tragic event to take place in order to shock us out of our complacency. We should, therefore, assemble for an introspection session and attempt to identify the areas in which we are failing in the fulfillment of our obligations to our fellow Jews and in the observance of our duty towards God.

Step 4: If we do this, than the people who died in the tragedy will not have died in vain. On the other hand, if we remain in our state of complacent slumber, it is we who are responsible for turning their deaths into pointless tragedies, and it is we who will be held responsible for the human waste.

Step 5: This means that we should not focus the brunt of our attention on the natural causes of the tragedy. Every event that occurs in our world even one that is Divinely ordained has some natural cause. We do not live in a world of miracles. When the building collapses it was obviously structurally weak. But it doesn’t follow that the structural weakness was the ultimate cause of the deaths of the victims. God has an infinite number of methods at His disposal, none of them miraculous to insure that weak buildings collapse without harming anyone. No scientific test ever devised could possibly determine that the building had to collapse precisely when it did collapse. The most brilliant engineers would not have been shocked had the floor managed to hold up under pressure through the night or only developed a large crack instead of collapsing outright.

* * *

WHO CAUSED THE TRAGEDY?

Therefore, to focus our attention exclusively on the owners, engineers and licensing authorities as though they were entirely responsible for the tragedy is the ultimate form of cruelty. They may have caused the collapse. God brought on the tragedy. (See Maimonides, “Laws of Fasting,” Chapter 1.)

How can the rest of us go on about our business as usual, satisfied that we have discovered the culprits and solved the problem, expecting to live peacefully on as though nothing had happened?

Such expectations border on heresy. For if I am allowed to live on in peace, and I am no better than the people who perished, than their deaths were totally senseless. Thus I am really saying that God is indifferent to what happens in the world and He doesn’t give a hoot when the innocent suffer. I avoided their fate purely by chance. It was blind luck that placed the victims there at the wrong place and the wrong time. Such a thought must be rejected as anathema as soon as it enters the mind of a true believer.

How can a believer possibly entertain the notion that God allowed a senseless tragedy to afflict His children?

The thought that God works in mysterious ways and we cannot penetrate the workings of Divine Justice, while no doubt perfectly true, is not much better in this case. How can a believer possibly entertain the notion that God allowed a shocking tragedy to afflict His children, the Jewish people, without specifically intending to shock them? Was He asleep?

Therefore, my expectation of a continued peaceful life can only be termed an empty fantasy. The only reason I did not perish along with the victims is because God took mercy on me. I had better wake up and do something.

The cruelty to which Maimonides refers (in Laws of Fasting, chapter 1) is as obvious as it is enormous. If tragedies are indeed warnings, when they are ignored, it is obvious that the need for further warnings has hardly been eliminated. On the contrary, if small tragedies are insufficient to wake us up, greater tragedies are obviously called for.

The ignorance of Divine warnings causes the appearance of an even greater danger on the horizon of Providence, the reaching of the point of no hope, when God abandons His attempts to arouse us from the smugness of our slumbers as beyond His reach. If that time ever arrives, then God forbid, another policy entirely comes into effect, the policy of destruction.

God stated in the clearest terms that He isn’t interested in supporting pointless existence. It was evening it was morning the sixth day (Genesis 1:31) Rashi states regarding this passage: God stipulated, “If Israel accepts the Torah on the sixth day of Sivan, then I am willing to have a world. If not, I see no point in it.”

There is little difference between non-acceptance and non- compliance. A Jewish society that does not concern itself with the purpose of life and focuses the bulk of its energy on maximizing the quality of life in this world — while abandoning spiritual concerns by the wayside and entrusting fellow Jews to the tender mercy of uncaring governments — is a Jewish society that is going nowhere fast. Such a Jewish society is in danger of facing very great tragedies which involve mass annihilation. It is infinitely preferable to heed God’s warnings and wake up.

CNN is reporting that the family knew Levi Aron and that this was NOT a random encounter.

Watch the video with the former police detective. That is exactly what he is saying, Droid.

One of the things we learn from this horrible tragedy is that there are things we just can’t understand. Like why, of all the people Leiby could have asked for directions, did he ask Aron? We’ll never know, but HKBU runs the world. We don’t know whether or not he was forced into the car or got in there on his own.

As a parent, although my children are now older, some of the lessons parents can draw from this are simplistic. NEVER get into a car with a stranger. If you’re lost, go into a store, or ask a policeman for directions. Always have a few quarters, just incase you need to call someone (not that I can think of anymore payphones on streets in the vicinity where this occured).

Hundreds of 9 year olds walk in Boro Park every day, without issue. Generally, it’s a very safe area. Common sense is not a fully developed skill in such a young child. Perhaps one of the greatest tragedies of this whole nightmare is the fact that we have to tell our children “you can’t trust someone just because he looks like a Yid”.

In light of the tragic news, I think we have to ask ourselves the following: It was so beautiful that Klal Yisrael came together in a time of crisis (to help with the search/reward money and tehillim), but can we overlook each others’ differences in good times too?

Firstly:Yichusdik:: You misunderstand me. What I felt to be insensitive was ,”I WON’T CONDEMN THE PARENTS AS SOME HAVE” How dare anyone think they are to blame for this?????

Secondly, I also went through an experience with a child, who BARUCH HASHEM came through. The shaliach for this was none other than HAKADUSH BARUCH HU, who planted in us the wisdom , to find the right shaliach!We have our hishtadlus everyday with our lives and our children, but please remember the final say comes from above!!! Yes, we must teach our children, that is our job on this earth but……

Secondly ARIES::: You are so way off!! This child or his family never knew this ROTZEIACH!!By you insinuating that LeibyZ’L purposely walked down to 18th Ave. is horrendous, callous and totally insensitive!! i know you have an agenda ( from previous posts) but THIS IS GOING TOO FAR!!!

There is much to learn, and to take upon and change in ourselves.

All deriving from the fact that the ENTIRE community suffered/is suffering from this terrible terrible tradgedy and loss. The pain we are all feeling is real and is MENT FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL to WAKE up and do teshuva…when something as bad as this happens in a community its taught that being that it wasnt some horrific event harming the entire community but one indiviual who took the “hit” for us r’l- we need to realize it COULD have BEEN us- and this pure pure chile had his precious neshama brutally taken away instead of saomething terrible happening to all of us. It is a sign to do teshuva (obviously taking action, learning from it, awareness) but since we were all pained- we are PART of the tzara- we need to make improvements in ourselves…why it happened? we dont know- we are not here to give answers on why- but its so obvious and clear to see- we NEED to fix ourselves, being better jews, bein adam l’chavero and bein adom lamakom! We should never never ever ever hear of such tzasros- and in the zchus that we all make a change in ourselves for the pure neshama taken away from us- we WILL become a better people and bring the geula- and see our proud Leiby again!!

Like I said in another thread, we don’t know what the reason is. But We can deffinately do something to turn things around and do something postive. What we each need to do is look at what we each need to work on. Whether it is better Middos, ahavas yisrael, ethics, more kavana in prayer, etc. we can each make a difference. May we improve ourselves in good ways, and may the geula sheleima come soon

“the emphasis on tznius (which, to the best of my knowledge, wasn’t mentioned ONCE during the levaya)”

Perhaps there is a reason for this “glaring omission”.

The answer to the question we are all asking, as to what should we learn from this (and WHY did this happen) can be found very clearly from the Torah in the war from Amalek. The man who killed Leiby, Z’l acted just like Amalek and was also successful in kidnapping and killing our dear Yehuda ben Nachman, Z’l the SAME way our people died in the war with Amelek. The reason Amalek was able to lure out (or kidnap – through false pretenses) our people and mutilate them like this, was because the Jewish people began to doubt that Hashem was truly among them and therefore quarreled with Him by “putting their complaint in the form of a challenge” (Artscroll commentary on Parshas Beshalach 17 (2-9) regarding the water they awaited. “They should have realized by now that He(Hashem) was their Healer and Provider”. Moshe reminded them that the way to express their needs is through prayer, not insolent challenges. When they did not do this, Amalek attacked and was successful (EXACTLY what we have seen here with Yehuda Z”l – who was the korben to remind of us this principle in the Torah). We must all begin to thank Hashem that only one of us has been taken in this way, and try to stop such events IMMEDIATELY before things get worse, has v’shalom.

But here is the greatest most INSPIRING part of the Parsha which we are seeing repeated today:

After Amalek began to attack (NOW PLEASE – LET’s NOT WAIT TO RESPOND IN THE RIGHT WAY), The Jews began to LEARN TORAH AND PRAY FERVENTLY. Moshe Rabbeinu prayed the most fervently and held up his hands – he did not let them drop in the battle (this is the definition of EMUNA), until finally, Hashem stopped the sun (interrupting the NORMAL way the world runs) and helped them win the war, which IMMEDIATELY PRECEDED the coming of Yisro, who validated the miracles Hashem did for the Jews before Har Sinai.

Our GEULAH – and the ultimate end of Amalek – WILL ONLY COME WHEN WE JOIN AS A NATION TO BELIEVE THAT HASHEM IS WITH US, PRAY TO HIM, AND LEARN HIS TORAH AS WE WERE COMMANDED TO DO!!!.

It’s really not as hard as people think, and I suggest we all start doing our jobs right now. The key to our success is today is to follow in the ways of our forefathers and be like Moshe – DON’T LET YOUR HANDS DOWN. Don’t let the cell phones, computers, and other gadgets distract you into worldly matters. Start praying now – teaching others to learn Torah BCHOL LEVAVECHA – and the geula will come. Hatzlochah and may we merit it soon and in our IMMEDIATE days!

Everyone will agree that there was an outpour of chesed and achdus that came out of this. Lets try and keep the achdus. Lets make sure to continue feeling like we are ALL in this world to do the same thing…. to serve Hashem and not get side tracked by the color shirt, hat, ties….

That’s absolutely true, Adorable. As I mentioned elsewhere on YWN, following the terror attack in Mumbai, when the Holtzberg’s Zt”l were killed, there was also tremendous achdus. Unfortunately, it didn’t last very long. And I fear that the same will be true here, even though this is much closer to home, and in many way, even more tragic.

msseeker – “Such as…? What can be more important than ???? ????? ????? What can be more tragic than ??? ??????? WHat can be better than ?? ?’ ????? ????? ???? ??????”

Oh come on, if I would try to post what I’m thinking, it wouldn’t make it through. V’hamayven Yoven!

msseeker – It’s not the amount of people who do terrible sins, it’s the fact that it’s not dealt with. Lots and lots of people sweep these things under the carpet. This transverses from the top to the bottom of the Klal.

Did you ever hear of “Lo Saamod Al Dam Rayech” & “V’artoh Horah Mekirbecha”?!?!

I’m a “Big Kid” now. So now I can reflect on my feelings.

In my extremely humble opinion sometimes it’s best to do Vayidom Aharon. Respectfully remaining silent, reflecting and meditating in silence. Words cannot do justice to either comfort or reproach. In such a case, as a tribute to Klal Yisroel, we have all become somewhat mourners. Hence many people have become agitated or disturbed at other peoples attempt to put their own feelings or ideas into words. As Koheles said “A time to be silent…”

ZeesKite was out of order this past week.

Zahavasdad

Actually, since all of klal Yisroel accepted arvus (responsibility) for each other at Har Sinai, any aveira any Jew does brings down the rest of us. Unlike the non Jews we are 1 nation one family one soul, in Shomayim all of Klal Yisroel is considered one soul and we are responsible for each other. So if one Jew doesn’t keep Shabbos he brings down all Jews. On the same token when we do a Mitzvah we elevate all Jews. Its something to think about before doing an Aveira or Mitzvah.

Not only that, but also next to these shiksas our yiddishe techter think they look like nashim tzidkanios.

“It is so easy to yell about tzniyus and pritzadike women.”

It is even easier to yell against tzniyus and sticking up for pritzadike women.

Its easiest to point fingers at everyone and everything else. It helps one avoid making their own cheshbon hanefesh.

Msseeker – “Why are you people trying to push THIS under the carpet?”

Where did you see in his post(s) that he is trying to sweep anything under? It seems that you are trying to sweep things under because when I mentioned there is something worse than Tzinus you screamed -“What can be more important than ???? ????? ????? What can be more tragic than ??? ??????? WHat can be better than ?? ?’ ????? ????? ???? ??????”.

So instead of admitting it’s wrong and worse, you screamed it’s a minority.

Then when he mentioned about cheeseburgers, you screamed Arvus.

Sounds like hypocrisy to me -only with cheeseburgers is there Arvus, but not with bad Aveiros that occur with kids!!!