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In ten minutes my kids will be waking up asking “did they find the boy?” What should we tell them????!!!!
tell them that nebach he was niftar. do it in a soft way. theyre going to find out anyway, this story is way to big to contain.
We have no choice but to tell the horrible truth. If we don’t, they’ll hear it at camp. Minus the details of course.
May Hashem avenge the tragic death of this pure neshama!!
You have to tell the truth. There’s no way to hide it, everyone will be talking about it. It’s best to say that they found him. Someone hurt him, and now he’s niftar. Later you can reinforce to your children that they shouldn’t talk to strangers and especially shouldn’t go up to them or go with them because there are bad people like this out there. You can explain that most people are nice and wouldn’t hurt them, but to be safe these are good rules to follow. It’s very tragic that we have to do things like this.
Never, ever, ever talk or go with strangers, even if they are (or look) frum.
We need to tell our kids, and more importantly, we need to tell ourselves… kids are not mini adults, and we need to start watching them / treating them like the kids they are.
But don’t take my word for it. See how many 11 year olds you see today “watching” their 7, 4 and newborn siblings, while mommy is in the house “resting” (or talking on the phone, or on the avenue shopping.
The kids are ours, and WE are responsible for them.
A very sad day, and even sadder when you consider that very little will be learnt and incorporated from the tragedy.
Kol Mevaser has an interview with Rabbi Klar from Chai Lifeline where he mentions to tell them the truth without details if they don’t ask for it. Also that now is not the time to tell them not to go with strangers.
We must tell our children never to go with anybody – even if they are asking them to do a Mitzva. I know a child who was molested because a frum man asked him to show him where the mikva was and then asked him if he wanted to do a mitzva and dunk. It used to be that we warned our children not to be tempted by candies now we have to tell them not to be tempted by Mitzvos R”L. I have told my children for years that even if a very frum looking man asks you to show him where the shul is – just walk (or run)away. It is unfortunate – but that is what we must do to protect our children. Unfortunately frum looking people can be dangerous too and our children have to understand that.
We must tell our children NEVER to get in a car with anybody unless they were told to do so by their parents – even if they know them. Once they are in the car – their chances of returning safely are much worse. But we do have to give our children advice on what to do if they are lost. We have to tell them if Chas V’Shalom they are lost to find a Mommy with Kinderlach and ask them – even if there are frum men there and not frum women with kids – I say go for the Mommy.
Chai Lifeline has a hotline set-up where you can speak with professional social workers and psycologists trained in dealing with such traumas. The hotline was set-up for parents to call with questions regarding what to tell their children.
I told my kids the truth, that someone kidnapped the boy and killed him; that there are some bad people in the world who do horrible things. I reminded them again, that even in our suburban cul de sac, where we know every car that passes, and are friendly with all our neighbors, they can never get into anyone’s car unless I or my wife specifically gives them permission. And I told them to pray for this little boy’s neshama because he will be comforted by it, and that the only antidote to evil is goodness.
when are the cops gonna release the name of the guy who did it? i have an idea from extensive googling, but id like some confirmation before i jump to conclusions.
In order to assist parents in speaking to your children about this horrific tragedy, we are setting up a conference call for 11:00 a.m. Eastern Time where you can call in and listen to directions on how to speak to your kids.
To access the call, kindly dial. (209) 647-1600 and when prompted, enter the Participant access code: 236682.
Please note that there are only 1,000 people who can dial in, so if you maxed out and are unable to join, a recording of the call will be posted on various websites as soon as we are done with the call.
Should you have any questions during the call, kindly email them to [email protected] and I will do my best to address them during
the call.
Rabbi Simcha Scholar and the crisis team of Chai Lifeline will be on the call
The phone number for Chai Lifeline’s helpline is 917-710-8399
Before you tell them anything sit down and think about what you think happened to Leiby and what might have happened to him. Think about everything you really need to teach your children about protecting themselves. Seriously. Personally, I don’t believe this was a stranger to Leiby. So I believe you need to teach your kids how not to speak to strangers AND how to protect themselves from people that they know as well.
aries: The Police Commissioner, Ray Kelly, just said he was a complete stranger and he met the boy randomly.
tell your children the truth. the truth hurts us adults and will hurt the children as well. I was amazed last night when I sat down to say tehillim for him and when my brother saw me sitting there and crying he came over to say too and said a whole yom. hes only 12 but was also touched and saw how i reacted so he too took to saying some tehillim. Told the boys to learn extra special for his neshama. dont get me wrong- I would not go into gruesome details but I would still tell them the truth
Droid- I guess you also listened to it! he was very clear and showed sympathy….. so sad.
Droid, he also said that they are not sure whether they exchanged words or not. What does that tell you? Why would Leiby follow him to the car if they didn’t even exchange words???
they did exchange words and he told him that he would take him home (heard this on the news not in is speech) and he should wait while he pays the dentist bill and then he’ll drive him.
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