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April 11, 2011 12:03 pm at 12:03 pm #596239am yisrael chaiParticipant
of a toddler finding & eating a pretzel(s) on Pesach?
I know someone who years later is still traumatized making Pesach…the mother can’t forgive herself, despite feeling that she had cleaned meticulously at that time.
Also, does anyone have any advice what I can say to her to help her now? She doesn’t feel she can rely on herself making Pesach anymore.
April 11, 2011 1:27 pm at 1:27 pm #862132popa_bar_abbaParticipantThere are no ramifications. Nothing.
The mother should seek professional help.
April 11, 2011 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm #862133walton157Member@popa_bar_abba: Amen, bro, amen.
April 11, 2011 1:46 pm at 1:46 pm #862134deiyezoogerMemberif she is cleaning herself, let her seek some cleaning help.
and if she does have help, then let start the cleaning a little closer to pesach, and not bring in chometz in the house. and third, if we (as the wives)know that we cleaned very well, then we did our parts, and the rest (if such a thing happens) is not our (the wives) fault, you take it away from the kid and you put in the outside garbage cans.
April 11, 2011 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #862135am yisrael chaiParticipantPBA…
I passed your message along…tx!
She said that she was told she gets kares, that the parents r responsible for the child eating chometz. She also said that she had checked the toy in which the child found the food & can’t figure out how it got there
April 11, 2011 2:29 pm at 2:29 pm #862137cherrybimParticipantThe tikun for her chometz negligence and to prevent chas v’shalom a recurrence, the mother should be m’kabel upon herself to wash all the windows and walls of her home every Pesach and to have in mind that that the cleaning should also act to cleanse her of the pretzel oversight. May she always have a wonderful and delightful Pesach.
April 11, 2011 2:43 pm at 2:43 pm #862138WolfishMusingsParticipantI know someone who years later is still traumatized making Pesach…the mother can’t forgive herself, despite feeling that she had cleaned meticulously at that time.
None. The child is obviously not responsible. If the parents thought they did a good job of cleaning but somehow missed this one piece by accident, then, at worst, it’s a shogeg.
If you find chometz on Pesach*, you have to burn it**. Period, end of story. No other halachic consequences.
She said that she was told she gets kares, that the parents r responsible for the child eating chometz.
Whoever told her that was a fool. You get kares for *intentionally* eating chometz on Pesach. Did the person think that she deliberately handed her kid a pretzel?
And, even if, for whatever reason, you want to say that she does get kares, it sounds to me like she’s already done teshuva — she confessed her sin, she has regret for it happening and she’s resolved not to let it happen again.
The Wolf
* Assuming, of course, that it’s an accident and that you didn’t intentionally keep chometz over Pesach.
** Keep in mind that if you find it on Yom Tov or Shabbos, it is muktza and must be covered over until after YT/Shabbos and then burnt.
April 11, 2011 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #862139am yisrael chaiParticipantThanks for all of your input!
p.s. there was no pretzels left to burn or cover; the kid ate it all apparently…
April 11, 2011 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #862140WolfishMusingsParticipantp.s. there was no pretzels left to burn or cover; the kid ate it all apparently…
Then my point about burning doesn’t apply. The rest of it does. She’s, at worst, a shogeg, so there’s no kares and, from your description, it sounds like she did teshuva since then.
FWIW, I’d say she’s in the clear.
The Wolf
April 11, 2011 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #862141deiyezoogerMemberA todler is alowed to eat chametz, so is a child that is below the age of chinuch, aldough we are not alowed to give them chametz because then WE have ???? from the chametz.
April 11, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #862142cherrybimParticipant“A todler is alowed to eat chametz”
Yes, but do you have any idea what eating chometz did to the n’shama of this future Gadol B’Yisroel?
April 11, 2011 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #862143WolfishMusingsParticipantYes, but do you have any idea what eating chometz did to the n’shama of this future Gadol B’Yisroel?
Do you know what it did? Do you know that it did anything?
The Wolf
April 11, 2011 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #862144boredinofficeParticipantCherry
Who says is did anything? Perhaps the future Gadol B’yisroel can only become the Gadol by accidently eating the chametz and being traumatized for life over it and committing strongly to halacha?
Who are we to decide?? things happen in life. Move on and learn from it – dont beat youself up over it.
April 11, 2011 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #862145cherrybimParticipantWhy does everyone take my posts in this thread so seriously? Es tu, Wolf?
April 11, 2011 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm #862146YW Moderator-80Memberet tu
April 11, 2011 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #862147deiyezoogerMember“Yes, but do you have any idea what eating chometz did to the n’shama of this future Gadol B’Yisroel?”
only ?????? ????? cause ?????? ??? not food that you cant eat NOW.
April 11, 2011 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #862148chayav inish livisumayParticipantwalton- the word BRO is strictly forbidden on this website!!!!!
April 11, 2011 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #862149am yisrael chaiParticipant“Perhaps the future Gadol B’yisroel can only become the Gadol by accidently eating the chametz and being traumatized for life over it and committing strongly to halacha?”
The kid has no idea about it & is therefore not traumatized; it’s the mom who feels that through her negligence, despite the fact that she did her best…her kid ate it
April 12, 2011 2:24 am at 2:24 am #862150WolfishMusingsParticipantWhy does everyone take my posts in this thread so seriously? Es tu, Wolf?
Because I had no reason to not believe it. You gave absolutely no indication that you weren’t serious.
Check out the Wikipedia article “Poe’s Law.”
The Wolf
April 12, 2011 9:51 am at 9:51 am #862151cherrybimParticipant“The tikun for her chometz negligence and to prevent chas v’shalom a recurrence, the mother should be m’kabel upon herself to wash all the windows and walls of her home every Pesach and to have in mind that that the cleaning should also act to cleanse her of the pretzel oversight. May she always have a wonderful and delightful Pesach.”
Wolf, what did you think about my tikun suggestion; did I need to indicate that I wasn’t serious?
April 12, 2011 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm #862152mikehall12382MemberApril 12, 2011 7:12 pm at 7:12 pm #862153am yisrael chaiParticipantThat’s what she’s afraid of! She doesn’t trust herself to be 100% perfect cleaning for Pesach after that experience…and she doesn’t want to develop OCD!
April 12, 2011 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #862154newhereParticipant“and she doesn’t want to develop OCD!”
I’m afraid it’s too late for that…she can’t get over the fact that her kid ate chametz years ago!! Seriously?! She did nothing wrong, her kid did nothing wrong, what exactly does she feel guilty about? Did someone really tell her she’s chayav kares? I have never heard something so ridiculous in my life, and I’m not using that loosely. The yetzer hara always tries to get us to focus on things like this, so we don’t actually work on ourselves in places that we actually do need work.
April 14, 2011 3:32 am at 3:32 am #862155am yisrael chaiParticipantnewhere, that’s great what u wrote! I told her what u said, & she couldn’t believe that people feel she is not to be blamed…better that she hears it from more than 1 person than just from me…
April 14, 2011 4:10 am at 4:10 am #862156mw13Participantam yisrael chai:
Maybe you can email her a link to this thread?
April 14, 2011 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #862157Pashuteh YidMemberIf nothing else, this shows the dedication that the klal has for mitzvos. May we all get chizuk.
Of course, the mother has nothing to worry about.
May 24, 2011 10:48 am at 10:48 am #862158BasYisroel94ParticipantWhat is the halocha on eating chometz DURING THE YEAR, that was possibly not sold over Pesach?
Is it halachically ‘inedible’?
Thanks
May 24, 2011 3:24 pm at 3:24 pm #862159WolfishMusingsParticipantWhat is the halocha on eating chometz DURING THE YEAR, that was possibly not sold over Pesach?
Is it halachically ‘inedible’?
Chametz that was in the possession of a Jew over Pesach may not be consumed after Pesach.
The Wolf
May 25, 2011 9:28 am at 9:28 am #862160BasYisroel94ParticipantAnd if it WAS eaten?
BTW, how do you italicise?
Thanks
May 25, 2011 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #862161WolfishMusingsParticipantAnd if it WAS eaten?
Then you have to rush down to the hospital and have surgeons remove it from your stomach.
OK, no… I’m not serious. Don’t do that. If you did it, then so what? If it was an accident, then you are at worst a shogeg and probably an oneis. If you did it purposely, then you need to do teshuva. That’s all.
BTW, how do you italicise?
Use the “em” tag.
For example:
< em > Your italicized text < /em >
Just remove the spaces in the brackets and the text will be italicized.
The Wolf
May 25, 2011 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #862162gavra_at_workParticipantWhat is the halocha on eating chometz DURING THE YEAR, that was possibly not sold over Pesach?
Is it halachically ‘inedible’?
I’m not a Rov, but you said the word “possibly”, i.e. a Safek. Since Chametz after Pesach is a Drabbonon, we would apply Safek D’Rabbonon L’Kula. Furthermore, if it was not you yourself who owned the Chometz over Pesach, or if you did Bitul, there is further room to be Maikel, as there are many Rishonim who hold that The Gezairah of R’ Shimon doesn’t apply.
Ask your LOR for actual Halacha.
May 25, 2011 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #862163klachMemberwhy does em mean italics
May 25, 2011 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #862164bptParticipantDo teshuva and Move On With Life.
I once ate traif as a kid, and my father freaked out when he found out. About 10 years later, my father reminded me of it, and it still hurt.
Now 30+ years later, I have moved on.
Guilt will kill you if you let it.
Be careful, but live a normal life.
May 25, 2011 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #862165WolfishMusingsParticipantwhy does em mean italics
It doesn’t. I believe it stands for “emphasis.”
The Wolf
May 25, 2011 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm #862166oomisParticipantShe should have boiled the toddler’s mouth or done libun. 😉
Really, a baby is a baby, there is no aveira. The mom should learn from this and possibly refrain from having that type of chometz around for a couple of weeks BEFORE Pesach. I used to buy only Pesachdig nosh (just a little bit) for my kids the week before, so they did not bring additional chometz into the house. So if I found a cookie crumb, it was a non-gebrochts cookie (no matzoh or its derivatived prior to the Sedarim, after Purim), and I didn’t have to worry.
BTW, people who really are being sarcastic or mean to be funny (in their opinion), shouls use the 😉 symbol after what they write, to show it is meant in fun. That would go a long way to help prevent the situation when someone feels insulted where no insult was meant.
May 26, 2011 7:02 am at 7:02 am #862167BasYisroel94ParticipantThanks Wolf, I’ll test it out now 🙂
Guilt will kill you if you let it. Be careful, but live a normal life.
Well, I spose there really is nothing to do but keep living. Here’s what happened: some friends and I found some nosh in school (dw, ’twas hefker) and ate it, but only realised after that they must’ve been from before pesach (we checked the expiry date) and most likely was not sold… Whoops. Better be careful next time!
May 26, 2011 6:43 pm at 6:43 pm #862168am yisrael chaiParticipantBasYissroel94
I found some nosh in school
Many schools sell their chometz, if this makes you feel better.
There are also some rabonim who have in mind all places that haven’t sold theirs.
May 26, 2011 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm #862169oomisParticipantMost rabbonim sell ALL the chometz in one’s home.
May 27, 2011 11:16 am at 11:16 am #862170m in IsraelMemberBasYisroel94 — If the Chometz was hefker, then it was not owned by a Jew, so what is the problem? (I’m not sure, but I actually think that there are some opinions that hefker items may be better than mechira.) Unless it was owned by a Jew on Pesach, and then made hefker after Pesach?
May 27, 2011 11:22 am at 11:22 am #862171m in IsraelMemberam yisroel chai — Let her speak to ANY Rav she chooses and ask. I am confident there is no one who will tell her that she gets Kares, and she can relax. If speaking to a Rav doesn’t help, and she is still obsessing about this after a number of years, perhaps this is a psychological problem rather than a religious problem, and she should consider seeking professional help.
May 27, 2011 1:44 pm at 1:44 pm #862172mikehall12382Memberthere are no ramifications, get over it
May 27, 2011 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #862173WolfishMusingsParticipantBTW, people who really are being sarcastic or mean to be funny (in their opinion), shouls use the 😉 symbol after what they write, to show it is meant in fun.
I didn’t use a smiley, but I did immediately follow it up with a sentence indicating that I wasn’t being serious.
The Wolf
March 23, 2012 1:09 am at 1:09 am #862174LogicianParticipantInterestingly, some poskim say that today we should not burn chometz found on Pesach, as we write in the sale “and all chometz found in my reshus” – we would be stealing from the goy!
March 23, 2012 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #862175Think firstMemberhey<e/m>
Just testing the italics.
Put < em > text </ em >
but without the spaces.
March 23, 2012 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #862176Think firstMemberHum… It works. But why did the e/m stay there?
March 23, 2012 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #862177popa_bar_abbaParticipantInterestingly, some poskim say that today we should not burn chometz found on Pesach, as we write in the sale “and all chometz found in my reshus” – we would be stealing from the goy!
I think all poskim say that.
It is quite unfortunate that kids learn otherwise in school, from ignorants.
March 23, 2012 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #862178farrocksMemberSo where does the idea of burning chometz found during yom tov come from? Such a widespread concept cannot come from nowhere legit.
March 23, 2012 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #862179popa_bar_abbaParticipantIt comes from the shulchan aruch, before that from some rishon probably, and before that from the gemara.
And it isn’t talking about a case where you sold all your chometz including any that is lying around.
March 23, 2012 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #862180LogicianParticipantThere are those who argue.
One possible reason is that since many are not nohaig to sell real chometz, you clearly did mean to include it in your sale.
March 23, 2012 8:15 pm at 8:15 pm #862181popa_bar_abbaParticipantNobody argues. There are no possible reasons, and that one is not true. The reason is that
(a) devarim sh’beleiv einum devarim. The buyer has a right to all that stuff, and is not supposed to know whether you have a preference towards not selling real chametz.
(b) the presumption is absurd, since nobody would rather be oiver on baal yera’e baal yimatzei than sell real chometz.
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