Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › what age is considered an older single?
- This topic has 84 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by Lilmod Ulelamaid.
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August 23, 2016 1:54 pm at 1:54 pm #1170452MenoParticipant
Right, but the comment to which I was responding said that self includes spouse and children
August 23, 2016 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #1170453Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMeno – got it. Hadn’t been so clear to me.
If parents or others are willing to support so guy can learn or go to school, there’s nothing wrong with that.
August 23, 2016 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #1170454MenoParticipantAlright I’ll agree with that. There’s certainly no specific age though
August 23, 2016 2:29 pm at 2:29 pm #1170455Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMeno, thanks, glad you can agree with that (unfortunately some wouldn’t). No specific age is true – depends on so many factors…
August 23, 2016 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm #1170456HealthParticipantSparkly -“i think thats where the whole shidduch crisis thing sets in because guys making the girls wait”
They don’t make them wait. They are just being choosey! If they want something, they go for it!
August 23, 2016 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #1170457MenoParticipantHealth,
Who’s they? and them? and they? and they? and it?
August 23, 2016 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #1170458allfreindlyParticipantyou mothers scare me .I think I will be working forever.
August 23, 2016 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #1170460HealthParticipantMeno -“Health, Who’s they? and them? and they? and they? and it?”
“You should be self-supporting by the time you have a self (including self, spouse, and children) to support, whatever age that may be.”
Who said? You? And you? And you? And you? And it?
August 23, 2016 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #1170461MenoParticipantHealth,
I said.
Not sure what your point is. I was pointing out that your comment was difficult to understand because it contained unclear pronoun references.
August 23, 2016 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #1170462charliehallParticipantChazal would say 19.
August 23, 2016 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #1170463JosephParticipantIs this the first time I’ve agreed with a comment from Charlie?
August 24, 2016 4:12 am at 4:12 am #1170464☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲Participant“…because guys making the girls wait”
They don’t make them wait.
How is that unclear? (And then “they” remains the same.)
August 24, 2016 4:56 am at 4:56 am #1170465SparklyMemberMeno – thats an insult and i do babysit so i do know how it is to care for children.
August 24, 2016 4:58 am at 4:58 am #1170466SparklyMemberHealth – so your saying im being choosey? because i want a certain guy?
August 24, 2016 5:25 am at 5:25 am #1170467☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantThe question about what a lazy person would do isn’t about what’s
actually harder, but what lazy people would imagine to be harder.
I must remind myself not to judge. These must be
closed communities who know nothing of the outside world.
I wasn’t aware that our lives are meant to be influenced
by the outside world. Please don’t judge me for it, though.
August 24, 2016 6:34 am at 6:34 am #1170468ExcellenceParticipantThe outside world is a major factor. We are dispersed and pressured to conform. But hey, each to their own. Each have their pathway in life. We try our best, and hope to make enough amends.
August 24, 2016 6:59 am at 6:59 am #1170469HealthParticipantComlink-X -“How is that unclear? (And then “they” remains the same.)”
Thanks!
August 24, 2016 7:04 am at 7:04 am #1170470HealthParticipantSparkly -“Health – so your saying im being choosey?”
Not you; the guys!
August 24, 2016 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #1170471SparklyMemberHealth – so your saying the guys are being choosey since they dont want to start dating until their like 22,23,24,25, etc….?
August 24, 2016 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #1170472Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMaybe he means they are choosy if they don’t want to marry you no matter how old they are ….
August 24, 2016 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #1170473HealthParticipantSparkly -“Health – so your saying the guys are being choosey since they dont want to start dating until their like 22,23,24,25, etc….?”
Yes! But why are you saying 22,23, etc.? Some Frum men date & get married at 18yo?!?
August 24, 2016 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #1170474Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHealth, she had said that she was talking about the guys she knows who DONT want to get married at 18. That was her whole point!
August 24, 2016 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #1170475HealthParticipantLU -“Health, she had said that she was talking about the guys she knows who DONT want to get married at 18. That was her whole point!”
And my point was saying that the guys are being choosey!
August 24, 2016 8:04 pm at 8:04 pm #1170476SparklyMemberHealth – why are they choosey just because they want to wait to get married? these are the kinds of guys that ill probably end up marrying. but im trying to convince them to start dating YOUNGER.
August 24, 2016 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #1170477MenoParticipantSparkly,
I think Health’s point was that guys aren’t waiting because they want to wait, they’re waiting because they haven’t found anyone in which they’re interested yet.
August 24, 2016 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #1170478SparklyMemberhow can they have found a girl that they are or arent interested in yet if they havent begun dating? also im NOT the one who asked these guys if their dating it was other people.
August 24, 2016 8:33 pm at 8:33 pm #1170479MenoParticipantHealth is talking about guys who have started dating but haven’t found anyone yet because they are too choosey.
Just FYI, it’s very possible that Health is talking about guys in general, not specifically the guys that you know.
August 24, 2016 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #1170480Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantBut Meno, Sparkly had started the conversation and Health was commenting on her post, so it doesn’t matter what he thought he was talking about – it matters what he really was talking about.
That’s the problem with these threads – no one really follows the conversations, and people comment on other people’s posts w/o really paying attention to what they were talking about. They they claim that they were talking about something different because they forgot that their comment was in response to someone else’s posts, so it’s not up to them to decide what they were talking about.
If anyone followed that, I’m very impressed!
August 24, 2016 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm #1170481gofishMemberIt would be nice to have a feature where you can see who is responding to who. Any thread that is longer than a page takes an awful amount of untangling to follow a somewhat coherent semblance of a back and forth conversation.
August 24, 2016 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #1170482SparklyMemberMeno – im not interested in random guys who arent my type since the shidduch probably wouldnt work.
August 24, 2016 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #1170483MenoParticipantSo if he was talking about something, but he thought he was talking about something else, then it doesn’t matter what he thought he was talking about? I mean, when you respond to someone, shouldn’t you respond to THEM, not just the words that they said?
August 24, 2016 9:55 pm at 9:55 pm #1170484HealthParticipantMeno -“I think Health’s point was that guys aren’t waiting because they want to wait, they’re waiting because they haven’t found anyone in which they’re interested yet.”
Bingo! If they happened to meet s/o that piqued their interest, all of a sudden they would be asking her for a date.
“Health is talking about guys who have started dating but haven’t found anyone yet because they are too choosey.”
Wrong!
“Just FYI, it’s very possible that Health is talking about guys in general, not specifically the guys that you know.”
And wrong!
August 24, 2016 11:07 pm at 11:07 pm #1170485Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMeno: “So if he was talking about something, but he thought he was talking about something else, then it doesn’t matter what he thought he was talking about? I mean, when you respond to someone, shouldn’t you respond to THEM, not just the words that they said?”
Huh? I lost you. This was my point: If Reuven made a comment, and Shimon “attacks” Reuven’s comment, it makes no sense for Shimon to then claim that he was talking about something else. If he is “attacking” Reuven’s comment, then he has to be referring to the situation that Reuven posed.
I thought that was what happened here, but honestly, I don’t know if I’ve been paying so much attention to the thread, and I’m too tired and busy to reread the whole thing, so I might be guilty of doing what I’m talking about.
August 25, 2016 12:08 am at 12:08 am #1170486SparklyMemberHealth – so your saying just because their not dating yet if they would have found a girl that they liked they would date her no matter what?
August 25, 2016 1:07 am at 1:07 am #1170487Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSParkly:- my issue is that the guys i want are in their young 20, in college, enjoying life, and want to wait like at least 1 more year to get married and then you have me waiting for them. and i think thats where the whole shidduch crisis thing sets in because guys making the girls wait.
Health:They don’t make them wait. They are just being choosey! If they want something, they go for it!
Sparkly:Health – so your saying the guys are being choosey since they dont want to start dating until their like 22,23,24,25, etc….?
HealtH: Yes! But why are you saying 22,23, etc.? Some Frum men date & get married at 18yo?!?
You see, Sparkly was talking about specific guys she knows who are not dating yet and are waiting until 22, etc, so she has to wait for them. Health said THEY are not making her wait; THEY are just being choosy. so his comment should be referring to the guys in Sparkly’s post, not to other guys.
As Comlink-x wrote, Health’s pronouns were obviously going on the “them” in the post he was commenting on. Health agreed and even got upset with Meno for writing that his pronouns were unclear.
If Health wants to write that there are other boys who do date younger and Sparkly should go out with them, then he would have to specify that in his original post instead of writing “them”.
Grammar Lesson of the day presented for free from Lilmod ulelamaid.
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