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#Recently I was at a wedding and I was noticing the bentschers on the table. They are all Beautiful, no question…. But, raise your hand if you have a shortage of bentschers in your house????
I feel like this system should be changed….
A) It is causing more shaimos
B) It is a holy waste of money. People are all so busy with cutting down on almost necessities, here’s a true easy way to save a couple hundred without making the simcha any less.
But, you say we need to betnsch, true.
Let every hall have laminated bentscher cards to use time and time again….
Can you imagine how crusty and disgusting those cards will get after just 50 weddings, most people at any one table don’t bentch at any one time just limit the amount per table, alot of people have devices they can do their bentching on, as far as spending alot on the logo and design and the pretty borders you are right that can be dialed back.
it’s a great idea, but’s it’s a very small item overall.
I have heard in some communities the Shmorg is very simple, a fraction of a fraction of what is done in NY area. In my experience, people just go along with ‘what is done’. A real individualist will make it in a Yeshiva Cafeteria ( I know someone who did so); and have a 1 man band.
this is not going to happen virally. Most people are able to find someone to help them, but if not, I would do like in a Yeshiva.
But some people like to spend money.
RY, that’s sort of the problem. the others who can’t afford, go into debt to make the same basic wedding. So the thinking is, the wealthier should scale back, but that’s not going to happen.
I would not have been able to afford but have one sibling who can help out. Otherwise I would have told the other side we can’t do this and that. Probably they would have paid the full thing I would think. But it’s not a good way to start the marriage thank G-d we are all getting along well and thank G-d there are grandchildren.
In the grand scheme of expenditures benchers are a very small expense
In London there is a Gmach for Bentchers which they give out for Chasunas, Sheva Brochos, Bar Mitzvahs, etc. Laminated pages, so they are easy to clean.
Thanks for starting this thread, as I see this is a problem and it has been bothering me for sometime. If you have made a simcha, you WILL be left with tons of bentchers. Most people do not want to take the bentchers home anymore. After making 2 bar mitzvahs, I had about 75 leftover from each party, (mind you we only ordered 100 per Bar Mitzvah. ) I am now left with 150 bentchers from our boys, not including the hundred accumulated through out the years, so it is probable, I have 300 hundred bentchers in my home. Of course, no one else wants them. My only recourse to dispose of them is to eventually give them to Genizah,I beg my family do not dare bring home any bentchers from any occasions they go to. I really think, that Gemachs are needed to prevent the needless amounts of Genizah, this is causing. I feel bad for those in the business, but sad to say, most of those bentchers will be put in Genizah.
I’m not able to sleep at night because of the bencher crisis
But people who buy benchers aren’t forcing others to do the same.
You’ve got a good #point, Hashtagposter. What’s holy
about wasting money, though? Did you mean unholy?
zalman:
Good one! (And congratulations on your 8-year veterancy!)
RebYidd23:
But people who buy benchers aren't forcing others to do the same.Correct, but they’re creating a situation in which others feel pressured to do the same. By your logic, no one can be asked not to conspicuously consume.
Then again, given your “argument” above, “But some people like to spend money,” I’m not sure I’m supposed to take you seriously here.
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I’ve seen bentshers that are just stiff cards with one fold, with only bentshing on them – they probably cost less, and there’s a lot less to them when it comes to disposal.
There are so many options other than benchers. Siddurim, tehillims, etc.
If your worried about saving money benchers can cost less than a dollar a piece, siddur im and tehillims i assume would be much more
dunno:
Those might sound a little more useful now, but if everyone started having them…
Also, I assume that they’d cost more in most cases.
There are so many options other than benchers. Siddurim, tehillims, etc.
Artscroll Shas, Shulchan Aruch, new Tur, etc.
Seriously, even at $2 each and 200 benchers, $400 is a drop in the bucket for a wedding. Making a “Takana” wedding (one man band, <400 guests, small shmorg, etc.) and a girl who doesn’t need a brand name shaitel will save real money.
I don’t think it makes sense to choose a girl based on her sheitel budget.
You’re right. My comment was directed more to those who said they have hundreds of benchers at home.
When my sister died her former classmates bought a bunch of very nice, durable bentchers and started a bentcher gmach in her name.
You can just print benchers without zemiros and only benching those are a lot cheaper
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