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what about shampoo, some of them have very strong scents as well, or deodorant, or….where do we draw the line?
” nail polish seems to be a favorite joke topic of bpt.”
Oh, if only the Mods had let that one crack of mine slip past. That was destined to be a BPT classic.
Too bad its out of bounds. (and perhaps righfully so)
” my dad wears polo “
TAB – is your father in his mid-late 40s?
” and personally its my fave “
Its been 20+ years since I wore cologne. Are you telling me that Polo is still worn?
BPT. Dont know about still worn, but I do know you can still buy it. It was right next to the bottle of Drakkar I recently bought.
I wear cologne because I like its scent. We make a b’racha when smelling spices because we derive pleasure from the aroma; not from the twigs and no one has ever made a pass at me because of my wonderful cologne scent.
Some yeshiva bocher favorites of the 60’s were Conoe, Hai Karate and Jade East; are they still around?
Singles should be wearing cologne and perfume; it may be the answer to the shidduch crisis.
What shidduch crisis? No less people are getting married today that 40 years ago. The only difference is the frum get married younger today.
What shidduch crisis? No less people are getting married today that 40 years ago. The only difference is the frum get married younger today.
Tomche, Hee hee is all I can say. ; ). B”H for you that it hasnt affected your family. There’s almost no frum block, where Litvish families live, where there isnt at least one single girl over 30. Gimme a break.
BPT: yup, thats my dad’s age. he got a new bottle some time in the last year. so i guess its still popular
Popa-bar-Abba, on a date one is allowed to look at a girl to see if he likes her as opposed to staring for pleasure. There is no purpose or heter to smell her perfume (pashtus).
There is a difference between being aware of a fragrance and “smelling” a fragrance. When you walk down the street and there are McDonalds burgers grilling nearby are you “smelling” the aroma of the burgers, or are you aware of the aroma? You dont see a difference between being aware that of an aroma and smelling the same aroma for enjoyment? why is a girl allowed to dress in her shabbos clothes for a date, she should dress in rags according to your logic. no makeup either. in fact, a frumpy sweatshirt should be the requirement.
“There is no purpose or heter to smell her perfume (pashtus).”
Why do you assume that people wear perfume or cologne for the express purpose that other people should smell them for enjoyment? People wear cologne so that they smell plesant. Pleasant does not equal attracting. However, since you are of the opinion that there is no heter (which I will extrapolate to mean that you believe it is assur), can you cite a posek who concurs with you?
apy: You make a distinction that the Shulchan Aruch does not. S”A says that a man cannot smell a woman’s perfume. Even if he doesn’t “enjoy” it. You cannot be “aware” of it without smelling it (which is assur per S”A).
Shlishi: I would think that that distinction is obvious. It is the same distinction between looking and seeing.
That distinction only applies to an onus. He is absolved from seeing something he inadvertently looked at if he immediately turns away from seeing it again. Same principle here. If he moves away so not to notice a smell he isn’t permitted to that he inadvertently smelled, he is okay.
But that still does’nt absolve her from lifnei iver.
There is perfume and there is PERFUME. A light scent is pleasant for kovod habrios. If you can smell it for two hours after the woman or man leaves the room, it is too strong.
Not all smells are meant to entice.
Some of them are just plain nice.
Shlishi. Please quote all the words of the SA for us (alternatively, please tell us where it is so that we can read the words for ourselves).
bein- great post. I once went to a wedding wearing perfume and all but when I got home something told me that they were at the wedding too and they thought I looked way too “good” for a single girl in shidduchim…meaning attractive. I was not ready to say Ill wear less makeup or something like that but I did say that I wont wear perfume to friend’s weddings as a single girl. I dont need the one to be machshil guys
Thank you so much! I really enjoy your post btw thanks for always keeping things calm here.
Those of you questioning whether men may or should wear perfume are obviously unaware of the ??? ???? on ??? ??? ? ???? ? who says:
???? :??? ??? ?? ??? ??? ?? ?? ???? ????? ????? ????? ?????
SG Wow what bekias! Is the Even Ezra to be taken literally that men and women should wear perfume? If so, when? And does ‘gedolei yisrael’ mean over bar/bas mitzva or leaders of the generation?
Gemara in Brachos 43b states that a Talmud Chacham should not venture out to the street while anointed with perfume. The Gemara reads:
??? ???? ??? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ?? ??? ????? ????? ???? ??? ??? ????? ????? ??? ??? ??????? ???????? ??? ???? ?? ??? ???? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??????? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ?? ????? ????? ??? ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ??? ????? ????? ???? ??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ??? ????? ????? ??????? ?? ???? ???? ??? ?? ??? ?? ???? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ????? ??? ??? ?? ??? ????? ????? ??? ????? ?? ????? ???.
?? ??? ????? ???? ??? ?????? ??????? ??? ???? ???? ?????, ??? ?? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ?? ?????? ????
Kesef Mishnah:
bein_hasdorim:
The Rambam does not restrict the prohibition to a place where people are suspected of mishkav zachar.
bein- did you look this up? wondering what you came out with. Is it ok for girls to wear perfume or not?
btw- is it really something that attracts that much attention?
it’s okay to wear when at home for the husband, but not okay to wear for strange men on the street.
what about a wedding or something when you are not nec gonna be near men…or at work
First of all, when some of the posters said that they only wear it around the house, what does that mean? Do you stay home untill it wears off? Secondly if I wanted to atract women, wouldnt I ask my wife, sister, or a diffrent woman to pick out the one they thought smelled good instead of picking out one myself that any female would think smells terrible? I wear cologne every day and I wear it for my self. There are some people who wear strong body spray or cologne/perfume to mask their body odors
I occasionally use body spray on hot summer days. I also have homemade mint extract in my shul locker for use after the mikveh although the scent of the mint doesn’t remain on my skin or in my beard for long.
I wore cologne in the US; I don’t here in Ukraine because of ridiculous prices and problems with counterfeiting.
Ofcourse -“There’s almost no frum block, where Litvish families live, where there isnt at least one single girl over 30.”
And why won’t they consider a guy in their 40’s or 50’s?
these issues are all about sensitivities. if you have them ma toiv u ma noim. if you dont-fine. you cant teach someone a sensitivity.
“First of all, when some of the posters said that they only wear it around the house, what does that mean? Do you stay home untill it wears off?”
I only put on perfume when I don’t expect to be leaving the house for the next while (like at night once I’m getting ready for bed, Erev Shabbos or Y”T…)
thank you for taking time to write that all out in a clear fashion. I read your post numerous times and I think its clear and makes lots of sense. you are 100% correct about how and when to apply it. A women knows her intentions and thats not something you can argue with. thank you again!
Do these guidelines apply to men as well? b/s some men wear so much cologne (read Axe body spray) they can suffocate a room of ppl.
and what about hair gels/sprays that are scented and a wave of perfume is released when they move their hair. are those scents in the same category as traditional perfumes?
If the Vaad is out of line, the Moetzes will intervene.
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