Up Close And Personal

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  • #610476
    eclipse
    Member

    It’s crazy that I’m asking THE ENTIRE WORLD this but I really want to hear the answers….

    I want to lose weight before actively pursuing shidduchim, but it’s taking awhile….there was someone genuinely interested in me regardless(it wasn’t nogaya), so I know that not everyone seeks physical perfection, but for myself, I wish I could be somewhat “lighter”….Since that could take longer than I want it to(at my age!), should I wait? Or just pretend I’m already 2 or 3 sizes less and “go for it”….(you know, answer the looooong line of men at my door)

    #975885
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I think you should do both.

    Don’t wait until you lose weight, but start dating again and also try to lose weight.

    I think you’ll even find that dating will be an impetus to lose weight. Especially if you find someone you like.

    #975886
    eclipse
    Member

    Please try not to give me obvious advice like, did you try diet and exercise?(the answer is of course, but I’m not always consistent) Or, it’s the inside qualities that really matter. That is 100% true, but both sides ALSO want to LIKE how the other person looks; it’s the reality. And while in Russia, we over-40’s would simply seem “healthy” and maybe even “kraseeva”….here, the standard for “healthy-looking” can be quite different. By the way, before my filter was adjusted, I once stumbled upon a BEAUTIFUL mussar shmuz by a young blogger on how grateful we must be for our bodies: SICK PEOPLE, suffering physically, WOULD TRADE WITH US IN A SECOND. And we women criticize ourselves to death, over perceived flaws that aren’t even so awful… I don’t know if she is even Jewish but her name is “Nicole Kellerman”.

    #975887
    eclipse
    Member

    Popa, do you know I secretly think that ALL the time? That it would probably be a great motivator? (Uh, I guess it isn’t a secret anymore!)

    Anyway, good, practical advice. Thank you!

    #975888
    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    eclipse- youre russian? cool!

    #975889
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    I think you’ll even find that dating will be an impetus to lose weight.

    I agree. Many of the guys I dated made me lose my apetite.

    #975890
    golfer
    Participant

    Agree with Popa.

    Keep working on it, but don’t put off dating until you can squeeze into the skirt you wore when you were 18.

    And I like your attitude. I feel sorry for the young, and not so young, ladies who keep insisting they want someone who likes them the way they are, and don’t bother trying to look their best. As you point out, that just doesn’t make sense.

    Good luck!

    #975891
    twisted
    Participant

    Here are two techniques that are for specific groups, but they might just work well for everybody. 1) Increase muscle mass, specifically upper body muscle (no simple thing over forty) by means of body weight exercise (no machines or gadgets) More muscle mass that you tone and use uses up more caloric energy just being there. This is really for guys wanting to get six pac bellies, but it is sound advice just the same. 2) A diet that you must stick to, and it is a lot of work shopping and prep. Raw food only, obviously plant based. Nothing cooked, low temp dehydrated is ok, and soaked and sprouted grains beans and peas is your protein source. This was tried on a group of lost cause diabetics, they were “locked in” in the sense that they had no other choice and could not run away. With moderate exercise over a three week period, most had lost weight and showed beter blood levels, some were able to go medication free or reduced meds. And welcome back eclipse

    #975892
    eclipse
    Member

    Super advice, everyone!! Wow, thanks!

    the-art-of-moi, I’m gullible; you are kidding, right? I meant, from what I know of Russia, sorry that wasn’t clear.

    #975893
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Welcome back,

    Got any doable diets??????

    #975894
    eclipse
    Member

    Shopping: Apparently not:)

    #975895
    SaysMe
    Member

    did popa just give normal, serious, sensitively-worded, good advice?? Please hold while i recover. And agree with him.

    I just heard today about an old-news concept of going completely off all wheat. It’s supposedly controversial and many drs dont agree with the basis, but the dr claims anyone can lose 15lb in 30 days by going off all wheat. You can search frankenwheat for more info, but in summary, that todays genetically engineered wheat is unhealthy, unfilling, spikes blood sugar levels more than a choc bar in one experiment, and is actually addictive. And that includes whole wheat and whole grain. My curiosity was spiked :), and hey maybe i’d even try it for a month just to test it out!

    #975896
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    Hi Eclipse I love your threads and posts. Thanks for the entertainment! (though I hardly visit the coffeeroom any more. Haven’t been here for decades!)

    I agree. Many of the guys I dated made me lose my apetite.

    lol syag

    #975897
    eclipse
    Member

    Shticky Guy: Thank you!

    Syag: I also laughed at that!

    #975898
    kkls45
    Member

    Maybe try insanity. Its a really intense workout for 60 days but is known to have amazing results.

    #975899
    eclipse
    Member

    kkls45: I did. 2007 was an insane year, and I think I was a size 4. Severe stress does that. Apparently “secondary” stress causes one to gain it all back and then some. And mild stress causes you to post your life story in the CR:)

    #975900
    eclipse
    Member

    twisted: your advice is easier said than done but I’m gonna try iyh. Thanks again.

    #975901
    twisted
    Participant

    eclipse: most effective and worthwhile stuff is in the “Lifestyle change” paradigm. Lots of work, and forever. Once you make it over the big hills, you’re on the way, but an external conscience (jimmeny cricket) can help. Moadim Lesimcha.

    #975902
    MCP
    Member

    Eclipse, Insanity! is a workout video. It takes 60 days but gets you into great shape.

    As an aside, I don’t think you should attempt to lose weight for shidduchim purposes unless you truly plan to keep it off once you are married/have kids. You want your husband to love you for who you are at all times, and if the 10-15 lbs will matter that much to him now they will matter then too.

    #975903
    twisted
    Participant

    Hi eclipse, most anything worthwhile and effective lies in the “lifestyle change” paradigm. Ir requires effort, and forever. Start slowly, and when you overcome the first few challenges, you’re on the way. It is somewhat like the teshuva process. An external conscience (jimmeny cricket), coach, or buddy can be very helpful. Moadim Lesimcha.

    #975904
    eclipse
    Member

    MCP…that’s so funny I had NO idea!!

    #975905
    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    Do the Cubbie diet/ workout plan! For every consecutive season the cubs don’t have a world series victory do that many push ups, squats, pull ups, and after all that run for the same number of minutes alternating between sprinting and jogging every 5 minutes.

    The dieting part is to have a solid diet of turkey, salad, and tears.

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