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Anyone have any they would liketo add? I’ll start with a few:
1. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
2. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act
3. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
4. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
5. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
6. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
7. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
9. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance.. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
11. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14… Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
15. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
16. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
17. WalMart’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop stocking it.
18. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better… don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
“17. WalMart’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop stocking it.”
I’m thankful to say i’ve never set foot in a Walmart.
Law of Changing Lanes – If you change traffic lanes, previous will start to move faster than the one you are currently in.
Blinky,you always have the best humor!You would make a great public speaker,with so many witticisms at your fingertips!Thanks for the laughs!
Yes,yes,the rest of you are also funny…
Law of Mazal Tovs – the guy you just got redt to gets engaged 😉
And people say your sheitel looks fantastic the day you’re giving it in to be done.(not hilarious,just true)
I’m a segula, I’m almost positive 😉
The law of getting caught – when you’re doing something right, no one is there to see it. When you’re doing something not so right, the press is there to report it!
Cole’s Law – a type of salad consisting primarily of shredded raw cabbage. It may also include shredded carrots.
The Weather Law: When you take an umbrella with you then your guaranteed no rain, however if you leave it at home your guaranteed that it will rain!
s-h mum, I call that insurance.
rule of tt: whenever you have a free there are never any table tennis balls in the 6th form common room.
and whenever you need new one’s the pe teacher has run out.
oy vey!
Sacrilege
“I’m a segula, I’m almost positive ;)”
In that case we should go out. Lol.
In-law:Someone with the potential to cause resentment.
Outlaw:What you become if you act on the above sentiment!
blinky
You for got the regular Murphy’s law:
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
First Law of Telecommunication – When someone you’re trying to reach finally calls you back, you’re in middle of Shemona Esrei.
WIY
No need, all it takes is the suggestion.
Law of garbage/sandwich bags- the first side you try to open, is always the closed end of the bag.. =)
Law of Dieting- Ppl always say you lost weight when the scale is the highest!
When people tell me that I always think to myself “what did you think I looked like before?!”
Don’t take it too literaly. Unless you’ve shed 50 lbs (or just put on 50 lbs) people will just say “oh you look like you’ve lost weight” becuase they know that everyone loves to hear that. Besides, who among us is not on / going on / planning to go on / just getting off a diet?
(P.S. You look fabulous, regardless of what the media is saying)
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