Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Unfriend or never friend?
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February 5, 2013 10:55 pm at 10:55 pm #608089popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Ok, I can’t ask this on facebook, so I’m asking it here.
Sometimes I am friended by people I don’t want to be friends with. For example, I was recently at a siyum made by a friend of mine, and I met several people at the table. A couple of them now friended me on facebook.
I don’t know these people, and frankly, I don’t care to either. I also don’t like to be friends with frum women on facebook since I feel like it’s a drop inappropriate–unless it would be more awkward to not be.
So one of them, I accepted, and then the next day, I just unfriended her. I figure she probably won’t notice.
But now a second one friended me. So I ask you: Is it better to ignore, or to accept and then unfriend a few days later? (I suppose a third alternative is to message her that I don’t want to be friends.)
February 5, 2013 11:06 pm at 11:06 pm #927496WIYMemberI think
1. You shouldn’t have facebook because it doesn’t pas (it doesnt bread).
2. GET MARRIED, MAN!
February 5, 2013 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm #927497popa_bar_abbaParticipant1. You shouldn’t have facebook because it doesn’t pas (it doesnt bread).
Perhaps it depends on one’s personal situation? I only got facebook a couple years ago, when my situation changed such that it became necessary.
GET MARRIED, MAN!
I’m actually currently married to my third wife. I’d say I have more marriage experience than anyone else you know. And I can assure you that it is irrelevant to this topic.
February 5, 2013 11:12 pm at 11:12 pm #927498ConfuciousMember1) Why should it bother you that you are facebook friends with someone you don’t know so well?
2) Why are you less afraid to be facebook friends with a gentile woman than with a Jewish woman?
February 5, 2013 11:15 pm at 11:15 pm #927499☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantHow do these people know you have Facebook? If they guessed, just ignore it, like I do, since I haven’t got an account.
February 5, 2013 11:18 pm at 11:18 pm #927500popa_bar_abbaParticipantWhy are you less afraid to be facebook friends with a gentile woman than with a Jewish woman?
Who said anything about Jewish? I said frum.
Why should it bother you that you are facebook friends with someone you don’t know so well?
For the same reason I don’t make my page public.
How do these people know you have Facebook? If they guessed, just Ivor’s it, like I do, since I haveen’t got an account.
They typed my name into the bar on top, and found the one with a picture of me with Justice Clarence Thomas’s arm around my shoulder.
Also, I don’t know how to “Ivor’s” it.
February 5, 2013 11:39 pm at 11:39 pm #927501squeakParticipantHow did you get your first two wives to agree to marry a third?
February 6, 2013 12:18 am at 12:18 am #927502WIYMemberPopa
“I’m actually currently married to my third wife. I’d say I have more marriage experience than anyone else you know. And I can assure you that it is irrelevant to this topic.”
I know someone married 5x or is he on #6 (I’m not kidding.)
February 6, 2013 12:44 am at 12:44 am #927503yytzParticipantIn my view, the right answer is definitely to never friend.
If you never friend, they’ll assume either that you hardly ever use Facebook and you didn’t notice their request, or that you have a policy of only accepting friend requests from people you’d consider real friends (as opposed to just acquaintances) — and there’s nothing wrong with such a policy. Everyone should understands it’s kind of ridiculous to friend every person you meet, even though that’s what most people seem to do.
If you accept the friend request, they will receive a triumphant notification indicating that you’ve accepted the request. If at some point they decide to look at your page and see that you’re no longer friends, they’ll think you looked at their profile, saw something that made you dislike them, and then de-friended them for that reason. In other words, some people will notice being defriended, and interpret it negatively in an insecure or paranoid way. Never friending is less likely to hurt someone’s feelings.
February 6, 2013 1:19 am at 1:19 am #927504supermeMemberfirst of all i dont know popa r u serious?? sometimes you joke and sometimes not
second of all facebook is not a good idea twitter is better!
ill follow you on twitter if you have an account lol 🙂
FB NOT A GOOD THING
February 6, 2013 1:26 am at 1:26 am #927505basyechida nomoreParticipantEver heard of Restricted? I’ve had to do my share of networking and when I get a request from someone I’m not so comfortable being friends with, I had him/her to the restricted list.
February 6, 2013 1:44 am at 1:44 am #927506SaysMeMemberignore the request, don’t accept it. Also, if they ARE finding you by searching, you can change your security settings so that you are not searchable in the first place.
February 6, 2013 2:40 am at 2:40 am #927507Torah613TorahParticipantNever friend.
February 6, 2013 2:52 am at 2:52 am #927508amichaiParticipantjust ignore if you really aren’t interested. why make yourself nuts over it? what are your chances of meeting up with them again?
February 6, 2013 3:22 am at 3:22 am #927509supermeMemberI don’t have Facebook but I’m sure there’s a way to block them the same way u can on a phone,twitter,email etc
February 6, 2013 3:59 am at 3:59 am #927510ThePurpleOneMemberjust ignore them. if theyr insulted then say u x friend females..
ahh now we know ur a guy, popa!! not too much personal info tho!! wink..
February 6, 2013 4:54 am at 4:54 am #927511yitayningwutParticipantI have the same issue, and I agree with the consensus. Never friend.
February 6, 2013 5:33 am at 5:33 am #927512oomisParticipantJust ignore. It’s less antagonistic than unfriending.
February 6, 2013 5:46 am at 5:46 am #927513☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantPopa,
Also, I don’t know how to “Ivor’s” it.
That’s Klingonese for “ignore”.
Bennett Slams Chareidim Just Before Being Sworn Into Knesset
I then realized that you may have a degree in Talmud or college football history, and never needed to learn Klngonese, so I edited the post. (I edited it within about a minute of posting it – how did you see that?!).
February 6, 2013 6:43 am at 6:43 am #927514superstarMemberNo purplicious from another thread I think popa was a lady. You know I’m so confused. I’m now trying to read popa’s posts as a lady and a man and see which fits best.
February 6, 2013 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #927515OneOfManyParticipant*more commonly known as “Klingon.”
February 6, 2013 8:19 pm at 8:19 pm #927516yytzParticipantThere was one recent post that had me thinking Popa was a woman (Popa talks about his/her kids calling him/her “Ima.”) But now I think Popa is a man but shares his profile with his wife, who posts sometimes under the same name. Oh, Popa, the CR (wo)man of mystery!
February 6, 2013 8:25 pm at 8:25 pm #927517OneOfManyParticipantyytz: You should try clicking on popa’s screen name sometime…
February 7, 2013 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #927518ThePurpleOneMemberoh wow i just tryed it… how do u do that pops?? wana share the secret??
February 7, 2013 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #927519yytzParticipantPopa didn’t do it — it seems that one of the moderators did it, I suppose as a warning to everyone here.
February 7, 2013 8:09 pm at 8:09 pm #927520midwesternerParticipantConfucious is obviously not here long enough to know that according to Popa there is no such thing as a Jewish woman.
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