Unfriend or never friend?

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  • #608089
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Ok, I can’t ask this on facebook, so I’m asking it here.

    Sometimes I am friended by people I don’t want to be friends with. For example, I was recently at a siyum made by a friend of mine, and I met several people at the table. A couple of them now friended me on facebook.

    I don’t know these people, and frankly, I don’t care to either. I also don’t like to be friends with frum women on facebook since I feel like it’s a drop inappropriate–unless it would be more awkward to not be.

    So one of them, I accepted, and then the next day, I just unfriended her. I figure she probably won’t notice.

    But now a second one friended me. So I ask you: Is it better to ignore, or to accept and then unfriend a few days later? (I suppose a third alternative is to message her that I don’t want to be friends.)

    #927496
    WIY
    Member

    I think

    1. You shouldn’t have facebook because it doesn’t pas (it doesnt bread).

    2. GET MARRIED, MAN!

    #927497
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    1. You shouldn’t have facebook because it doesn’t pas (it doesnt bread).

    Perhaps it depends on one’s personal situation? I only got facebook a couple years ago, when my situation changed such that it became necessary.

    GET MARRIED, MAN!

    I’m actually currently married to my third wife. I’d say I have more marriage experience than anyone else you know. And I can assure you that it is irrelevant to this topic.

    #927498
    Confucious
    Member

    1) Why should it bother you that you are facebook friends with someone you don’t know so well?

    2) Why are you less afraid to be facebook friends with a gentile woman than with a Jewish woman?

    #927499
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    How do these people know you have Facebook? If they guessed, just ignore it, like I do, since I haven’t got an account.

    #927500
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Why are you less afraid to be facebook friends with a gentile woman than with a Jewish woman?

    Who said anything about Jewish? I said frum.

    Why should it bother you that you are facebook friends with someone you don’t know so well?

    For the same reason I don’t make my page public.

    How do these people know you have Facebook? If they guessed, just Ivor’s it, like I do, since I haveen’t got an account.

    They typed my name into the bar on top, and found the one with a picture of me with Justice Clarence Thomas’s arm around my shoulder.

    Also, I don’t know how to “Ivor’s” it.

    #927501
    squeak
    Participant

    How did you get your first two wives to agree to marry a third?

    #927502
    WIY
    Member

    Popa

    “I’m actually currently married to my third wife. I’d say I have more marriage experience than anyone else you know. And I can assure you that it is irrelevant to this topic.”

    I know someone married 5x or is he on #6 (I’m not kidding.)

    #927503
    yytz
    Participant

    In my view, the right answer is definitely to never friend.

    If you never friend, they’ll assume either that you hardly ever use Facebook and you didn’t notice their request, or that you have a policy of only accepting friend requests from people you’d consider real friends (as opposed to just acquaintances) — and there’s nothing wrong with such a policy. Everyone should understands it’s kind of ridiculous to friend every person you meet, even though that’s what most people seem to do.

    If you accept the friend request, they will receive a triumphant notification indicating that you’ve accepted the request. If at some point they decide to look at your page and see that you’re no longer friends, they’ll think you looked at their profile, saw something that made you dislike them, and then de-friended them for that reason. In other words, some people will notice being defriended, and interpret it negatively in an insecure or paranoid way. Never friending is less likely to hurt someone’s feelings.

    #927504
    superme
    Member

    first of all i dont know popa r u serious?? sometimes you joke and sometimes not

    second of all facebook is not a good idea twitter is better!

    ill follow you on twitter if you have an account lol 🙂

    FB NOT A GOOD THING

    #927505
    basyechida nomore
    Participant

    Ever heard of Restricted? I’ve had to do my share of networking and when I get a request from someone I’m not so comfortable being friends with, I had him/her to the restricted list.

    #927506
    SaysMe
    Member

    ignore the request, don’t accept it. Also, if they ARE finding you by searching, you can change your security settings so that you are not searchable in the first place.

    #927507
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Never friend.

    #927508
    amichai
    Participant

    just ignore if you really aren’t interested. why make yourself nuts over it? what are your chances of meeting up with them again?

    #927509
    superme
    Member

    I don’t have Facebook but I’m sure there’s a way to block them the same way u can on a phone,twitter,email etc

    #927510
    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    just ignore them. if theyr insulted then say u x friend females..

    ahh now we know ur a guy, popa!! not too much personal info tho!! wink..

    #927511
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    I have the same issue, and I agree with the consensus. Never friend.

    #927512
    oomis
    Participant

    Just ignore. It’s less antagonistic than unfriending.

    #927513
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Popa,

    Also, I don’t know how to “Ivor’s” it.

    That’s Klingonese for “ignore”.

    Bennett Slams Chareidim Just Before Being Sworn Into Knesset

    I then realized that you may have a degree in Talmud or college football history, and never needed to learn Klngonese, so I edited the post. (I edited it within about a minute of posting it – how did you see that?!).

    #927514
    superstar
    Member

    No purplicious from another thread I think popa was a lady. You know I’m so confused. I’m now trying to read popa’s posts as a lady and a man and see which fits best.

    #927515
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    *more commonly known as “Klingon.”

    #927516
    yytz
    Participant

    There was one recent post that had me thinking Popa was a woman (Popa talks about his/her kids calling him/her “Ima.”) But now I think Popa is a man but shares his profile with his wife, who posts sometimes under the same name. Oh, Popa, the CR (wo)man of mystery!

    #927517
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    yytz: You should try clicking on popa’s screen name sometime…

    #927518
    ThePurpleOne
    Member

    oh wow i just tryed it… how do u do that pops?? wana share the secret??

    #927519
    yytz
    Participant

    Popa didn’t do it — it seems that one of the moderators did it, I suppose as a warning to everyone here.

    #927520
    midwesterner
    Participant

    Confucious is obviously not here long enough to know that according to Popa there is no such thing as a Jewish woman.

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