Tznius

We anyways need to make it a womens only group.

Online Tznius support group?

I can picture it now……

Hi, I’m Chavi….

Hiiii Chaaavi.

Recently, I must confess, I started wearing shells under my top. At first, it was ok because the spaghetti straps were pas yisroel, kemach yashan exclusively, but then, I started slipping, I used Ronzoni, even with the OU, it started bothering me…

Go on Chavi, let it all out.

Well, the other day, I really slipped, I wore a shell that wasn’t black. I felt horrible, like I was betraying all four Imahos Hakedoshos at the same time. I tried to justify to myself that “it was only chocolate macaroon dark brown”, but I knew it was only my yetzer hara.

Oooohhhh Chaaavi, we really feel for you. We’re here for you every step of the way. We will come to your house tonight and empty out those closets so the temptation to wear anything other than black canvas tents never tempts you again.

Oh, thank you ladies. Your the best. Who is next?

Hi, I’m Faigy.

Hiiiii Faaaaiiigy….

Just the other day, I wore shoes that had, gasp, a heel that measured approximately 1/4 of an inch. How couldI wear such untzniusdik spikes!?!?….

I’m a mod. I think it’s a good idea. Go for it.

Thanks again, 80! You’re really there for me today!

Q.E.D.

An acronym for the latin phrase quod erat demonstrandum, loosely translated as “which was to be demonstrated”.

What I meant by it was that jphone’s comment proved my point about the CR not being the best place to find a sympathetic audience. But if the mods are the demi-gods they pretend to be, then I believe such a thread could succeed. It’s all up to them (and y’all)!

ames – I’m going to submit your claim to Dr. Pepper for analysis. You have started 63 threads in the nearly 11 months since you signed up, which is a little more than 5.7 threads per month. I am sure that a number of users average 1 thread PER DAY on the first day they sign up.

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot over shabbos, and I think I have some thoughts.

First, I think in the last 10-15 years, fashion has produced more skirts. When I was 13, long skirts first came in style. Then, mid calf length skirts were in style…then near the knee. So fashionable skirts are much more readily available…and when women go try them on, its a beautiful skirt that just makes it…or is a hair to short but “with black tights you won’t be able to tell” or other things like that. I think ironically that because of the more modest clothing available to the outside world, Jewish women are less tzanua.

About the rebelling against your old teachers – when I was 13, my teacher did not understand the difference between halacha and chumra, nor did she understand the class she was preaching too. Most of the girls wore generally tzanua clothing. She would preach to us about long skirts being 100% assur and other things which the entire class did not hold by. Her entire view on Judaism was singular to exactly what her husband said and if anyone brought up anything different (even from a valid posek), she dismissed it at hand. Once my friend explained she had learned something in the gemara with her father which was different than the teacher was explaining and the teacher said something to the effect of “your father is wrong.” (her father happens to be a talmid chacham…but anyway) It took me four years of good teachers in high school to really understand how wrong she was and undo the damage she had done to me. I think if people have bad experiences with their teachers and never resolve the issues, they will be rebelling against them for the rest of their lives.

Personally, tznius is the last thing I work on. But that’s because anytime I start with that, I find myself slipping in other ways. I prefer to work from inside to the outside; others work better from outside to within.

NY Mom, I didn’t mean to imply that your posts were particularly negative–in fact they were closer to neutral than many I’ve seen. But since so much of the discourse regarding tznius tends to be negative & critical that many women feel overwhelmed & jaded. Therefore positive discussion is particularly important.