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Every summer more liberties are taken, more testing of the waters as to how far one can go. Woman on the trains going to the city need a ‘mirror’ to reflect and see how they are dressed. Nobody said mitzvas are hard or easy. It is our way of life. If you are looking for a ‘heter’ permission, you will always find, is that what we really want? Do your own cheshbon hanefesh and ask, how was I raised?
Chazak ve’ematz!!!!!
I’m sure flowers & co. who maintain its not okay for anon men online to advise tznius issues surely would say it is entirely improper for men and women to be posting altogether to the opposite gender here online.
Right?
I’m sure flowers & co. who maintain its not okay for anon men online to advise tznius issues surely would say it is entirely improper for men and women to be posting altogether to the opposite gender here online.
Right?
If you work with a woman, and she tells you her washing machine broke. Might you give her advice on who she can call, or what to do?
Now lets suppose she asks you how much makeup you think is appropriate for her to wear, or some other questions portaining to dress, that I won’t even mention, even though I can find it on threads, would you answer?
Do you see a difference, or it’s all the same to you?
If she asked you how much makeup is untznius, that would be more akin to your washing machine example; if she asked how much makeup she looked good in, that would be akin to your makeup and dress example.
Flowers, not everybody is as smart and as aware as you are. It is clear from the threads that certain women do not know certain things. And ,again , they are not talking to anybody “face to face”.
Flowers-
Firstly, you asked me to find you a thread where I asked a question and got an answer. That DOESN’T mean that “I” have to ask it. I can get an answer from another person’s post. And no, I’m not searching the entire CR to satisfy YOU. And for where I said that I don’t care about what boys and men think-I’m referring to the style in which I dress. I remember walking out and asking someone how I looked and they said “do you really think the boys know the difference” and that is what I mean. I was not asking how I looked to make sure I looked good for the boys, I wanted to look good for the GIRLS. That has NOTHING to do with tznius!!! That has to do with the fact that I don’t dress “in style” for men! As for tznius, I can see what men say and as I can according to how strong against my Y”H is that day whether I can conquer it and listen to what they say isn’t tznius. Not every day am I capable of dressing perfectly!
And I said you can’t change my thoughts because you CAN’T! Its my thoughts and I’m adding them the same way you’re adding yours! That DOES NOT mean that I don’t care what’s right! Yes, I DO care what is right. I am a teenage girl for heaven’s sake! Do you think I am Rav Moshe Feinstein?! I am not perfect-far from it! I know that! It doesn’t mean I can’t try my best to serve Hashem properly!
“Yes, every time I go against halacha knowingly I feel mighty guilty but there is a major pressure in today’s society that many girls (myself included) can’t always fight.”
Now, check that out. You yourself proved that I DO care what is right and wrong where I wrote …I feel mighty guilty… and where I wrote …that we can’t always fight. I know what’s right and wrong but I can’t always fight my Y”H! And guess what-you can’t either! Nobody is perfect!
And for what you said about tznius appliying in men and women’s presence-Did I ever say not?! It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t help to get a man’s opinion on things!
“mdd: read mischiefmaker’s contradictory posts and you will see that it’s all bubba meisis.”
And yes, I am very hurt by the way you feel you need to put down another’s posts. What I am saying is not bubba meisis; it’s my personal thoughts and you don’t need to agree with them. There were other posters who agreed with my point of view yet you selected MINE and said it in a disgusting way. There is something VERY wrong with that.
flower- I agree with you that in REAL life there is a difference between asking about a broken washing machine vs. how much makeup is appropriate but I think one main difference is that we are not talking face to face. Its all in an online forum. No one knows anyone else or could be attracted to anyone else.
Real Brisker- Does my question about how much eye makeup is acceptable cause hirhur? Anyone who has a problem with questions like those should stay away from tznius threads.
Flowers – I think the men know it best. Women can only know what men tell them and they can never fully understand how men think and view things.
Please do not making assumptions about me, especially if you don’t know me and you have never met me!
Another name – I am not talking about clear cut halacha here. You said it yourself – these are gray areas. In my question about the eye makeup, I have the basic understanding that there can be problems, that women should not dress to attracting – that is the halacha. My question is about application. I am not asking my Rav – it is way too awkward.
Flowers – I would for sure tell her to the best of my ability what I think. Tznius and fixing washing machines are both parts of life. And as Adorable and others have pointed out, this is an online forum. The people I ask questions do will probably never meet me and they have no clue what I look like. They don’t even know where I live, how old I am, or where I went to school.
I confirmed that all threads used in the clothing my wife wears are 100% tznius.
Even when sitting?
I already told you, the threads are tznius. People are to caught up in the specifics of other peoples wives and daughters. What more would you like to know, my wifes vestos details? Would you like to know what mikvah she uses and offer your approval?
But Hudi, questions like that are meant for a rav or rebbetzin. There is nothing to be ashamed of for wanting to follow halacha. Better a rav that is familiar with you (and your “spiritual level”), but if you are too uncomfortable for that, then there are plenty of anonymous hotlines that you can call.
Every extra step you take towards doing the right thing, will only increase your schar! Don’t waste issues like that on the cr.
get a life- Any women willing to get up here and say I changed the way I dressed (for the better) because of all the tznius threads on the CR?
yes sort of..
..and what about people that their parents are against what they wear and won’t teach them. sometimes the cr really helps. either to make a halacha clear, OR make it clear that it’s a machloket.
Do you get as uptight when someone asks you if you’re sure that ice cream is kosher? Or is it only tznius that makes you fidgety?
Pac-Man, ice cream is a yes or no answer. Tznius is not that point-blank. Tznius is also more personal.
Another name
I don’t know who you think I am, but if you were to see me, you would see a very a tzanua individual.
I don’t want anyone to get the idea that I am not a tznius person and I don’t know halacha based on the fact that I have questions about grey areas. I have read tznius halacha books many times and am very aware of halacha.
I’m not ashamed of wanting to follow halacha. Quite the contrary, I’m asking these questions because I want to follow halacha more closely.
What causes your disagreement with the Torah’s Hilchos Tznius so much (which has been abundantly clear every time you commented on it over the years as jp and apy), that you feel free to trample on it and encourage others to do the same?
Hudi, I don’t know what your last comment has to do with what I said. I’m sorry if you were insulted. I’m not judging your modesty (and you obviously care about doing the right thing if you are seeking advice), rather your comment shows a lack of maturity to seek advice from someone more capable of helping you than cr.
I mean things like glitter eye shadow, layered look, open toe, etc. Those are generally more grey and you cannot find those answers in halacha books.
If something is a grey area, doesn’t mean you can pick and decide for yourself if you want to don it.
Another name
I am having too much confrontation with you. I hear your side and will consider what you have to say. Let’s leave it there.
Hudi, I don’t know what confrontation you’re talking about, but whatever you wish. Let me know what you decide.
Joseph, whatever floats your boat. Just stay away from my wife, and her ice cream.
Halachicly no man can even look at her.
I think pacman (i’m not saying he’s right but…) just wants to show that the fact that you are so “touchy” about him asking about your wife’s tznius shows that there is something that is making you unsure.
I guess you can say that I am “touchy” about this subject, as it relates to men discussing the manner of dress of women, especially other peoples wives and daughters whether in the real or theoretical sense.
The warden wouldn’t let you make outside contact from your cell (even to your spouse) until and unless parole was granted, which isn’t likely for multiple decades.
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