Tznius Recommendation (for Women)

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  • #598216
    kapusta
    Participant

    fix-it-up mentioned here:

    What Should I Do?

    From Rabbi Wallerstein on Torahanytime. He talks mainly about negiah but part of it is about general tznius. Its a little over an hour and very worth listening to.

    6/12/2008- most of the way down the page. Its called The Magic Touch.

    *kapusta*

    #791533
    Chein
    Member

    Can you summarize?

    #791534

    Rabbi Yossi Mizrachi on Torah Anytime has a lecture on MODESTY which is good to listen to more than once. Tzinus should not be taken lightly and if you think the dress you are trying on is a question, don’t buy it!!

    #791535
    kapusta
    Participant

    It wouldn’t be the same.

    *kapusta*

    #791536
    adorable
    Participant

    I listened to that shiur a couple of times. I love the example that he gives about the steer in the meat market

    and I repeated the story that he said about that drunk boy many times. its so true its freaky

    #791537
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread. I read this thread.

    #791538
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    PBA

    101 times is not the same as 100 🙂

    #791539
    Another name
    Participant

    Popa bar abba, Is your comment a reflection of your subtitle? Writing “I read this thread” once or twice surely would have been sufficient for bringing across your point 😉

    #791540
    kapusta
    Participant

    Ms. Critique-

    I found this shiur to be different than the average teacher trying to get her class to choose longer skirts (or looser clothing) by doing an army drill of “this is Halacha, now do it!”. It was more than the ABC’s of tznius, it was the feeling of tznius and why someone would want to do it on their own (aside from Halacha). A lot of the stuff most schools wouldn’t go near.

    I feel like contacting Ohr Naava and asking them to redo a similar Shiur (or show a video of that one) since it was done a while ago.

    *kapusta*

    #791541
    bpt
    Participant

    I listened to the magic touch shiur yesterday. Wow, does R’ Wallerstein pack a wallop. I loved the way he nailed the boyfriend by asking him to sign a document (which boyfriend refused to do), thus proving that pre marraige, there is no love. There is only taking advantage. Chuppah / kedushin is not just a ceremony. Its a commitment.

    I always knew the importance of being shomer negieh (and how it applies to post-marraige as well), but the way he put it in perspective was a real eye-opener.

    A must listen to shiur, no matter what your background / affiliation / gender.

    The only lecture I heard that comes close was from Rabbi E. Buchwald, in his Crash Course in Judaism series (which by the way is also a really good series to listen to, no matter what your background / affiliation is)

    #791542
    adorable
    Participant

    bpt- why did you listen to it?!?!??! I thought you were past that stage. I love the suspense in that story too- I could almost see the girl smiling at first and then crying for hours!

    #791543
    bpt
    Participant

    “I thought you were past that stage”

    As much as us older folks love making it sound like we know all there is to know, there is always someone who can teach you something. Even if that something is just a new way of understanding a concept you already know.

    When it comes to man-woman relationships, us old folks can use a tune-up, just like the new editions (sometimes, more so)

    #791544
    adorable
    Participant

    heck! I thought the issue is (mainly) solved when you get married…..now i really have nothing to look forward to!

    #791545

    bpt, we are never past “the stage”. There is always room for improvement.

    At a recent shiur, the lecturer who also included the importance of tznius mentioned that anyone davening but not dressed in accordance of proper tznius, those tefillos are not mekabel. The lecture was in Yiddish!

    #791546
    bpt
    Participant

    ” now i really have nothing to look forward to! ”

    Ah, you singles.

    Wait, just wait. And then get back to us after the 5th anniversary, the 10th, and the 25th and let us know if you still stand by that statement.

    #791547
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    I’m not a woman, but listened anyway. Very true, but nothing to do with traditional “Tznius”. Good though for “exclusitivity” with a spouse (even as a male), I feel it was worth listening to.

    Second, the story of the steer has become the current shidduch market.

    I loved the way he nailed the boyfriend by asking him to sign a document (which boyfriend refused to do), thus proving that pre marraige, there is no love.

    (This is why a guy can’t listen to these things)

    1: A similar idea to the T’Nayim and is used at the engagement.

    2: The Shtaar would not have been valid (you can’t sign to do something, and a neder that is not actually stated doesn’t count. Besides, he could always do Shiaylah on the Neder, even if he did say it). T’Nayim only works because they are actually getting engaged, and there is a M’aase Kinyan, and there is a penalty.

    #791548
    bpt
    Participant

    “(This is why a guy can’t listen to these things)”

    True. Because had boyfriend listened to the shiur, he would have realized its a bluff, signed, and went on with his shennanigans.

    C’mon, GAW, really. Why do you say this was not something we could learn from. I thought it put the concept of commitment in a very easy to understand idea.

    What did you see wrong?

    #791549
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Why do you say this was not something we could learn from.

    I’m not. (?) I thought it was very good, I just have an Upgefreg on the Metzius of the Ma’ase.

    Furthermore, the proposed document went even further than Keddushin, as it did not allow for divorce. He was right not to sign, even if he did love her & planned on giving her a ring right there and then.

    #791550
    bpt
    Participant

    I’ll re-listen to the shiur, to see what the text of the letter said. I think it was just asking for a commitment with a definitive deadline.

    Plus, I missed the steer story. Sounds like a doozy.

    #791551
    LSH
    Participant

    All I ever here is talk and no action. When are these lecturers going to offer sewing classes so that we can make our own outfits or at least offer classes on how to modify our outfits in an attractive way???

    #791552
    mustangrider
    Member

    LSH, Mrs. Brog gives a sewing class – i believe in benei yosef (ocean pkwy and ave p)but i could be wrong (about the location i meen).

    #791553
    mustangrider
    Member

    And thanx kapusta for the link. i really found that speech inspirational and entertaining!

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