Home › Forums › Inspiration / Mussar › Tznius Crisis in Cars
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June 7, 2011 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm #597317sandracMember
I am deeply disturbed by the terrible situation with regards to tznius is cars and vehicles. too many of our sisters apparently treat cars as their bedrooms, and fail to act and dress how they should in public. when walking down the street and seeing women and girls sitting in a car, either while driving or stopped at a light or parked, and a woman or girl is sitting in the passanger seat or drivers seat with her knee uncovered far far more than appropriate in public (above the knee), you know something is very wrong. and not to mention when getting in and out of a car or minivan and the skirt going way above the knee for all passerbys on the street to see. Please please, ladies and girls, please pay heed and do the right thing.
June 7, 2011 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #777396pumperMemberI understand the position of the OP
As a frum young woman, I always try to be tznius to the best of my ability. I do not wear tight, flashy clothing, and I am sensitive that my skirts should always cover my knees.
However, with the current style of straight skirts, I find it very hard to keep my knees fully covered when entering or exiting a car. And most of my skirts are 4 inches below my knees. When I am wearing a flairy skirt, I have no problems.
Does anyone have any tips on how to keep tznius when wearing a straight skirt? Please do not answer not to wear a straight skirt or not to travel in cars. I would like some PRACTICAL advice!
June 7, 2011 6:07 pm at 6:07 pm #777397Daniel BreslauerMemberIf so, the skirts aren’t long enough in the first place. If the skirts were of the appropriate length (ie, halfway between ankle and knee) this would not happen at all. It’s not related to cars, it’s part of the overall problem in America.
B”H here in Gateshead it’s not like that.
June 7, 2011 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #777398minyan galMemberSandrac, perhaps you should stop looking at vehicles so closely. It is difficult to get into a minivan or an SUV when wearing a skirt no matter how long it is. Occasionally, for a brief moment an skirt may creep up a bit while manouvering oneself into a vehicle.
June 7, 2011 8:15 pm at 8:15 pm #777400mddMemberHe is right, though.
June 7, 2011 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #777401aries2756ParticipantThat’s what these huge pocket books are for. To hold on your lap and cover your knees and hold in front of your legs when entering and exiting the car. 🙂
June 7, 2011 9:26 pm at 9:26 pm #777402wanderingchanaParticipantKeep your eyes out of other people’s cars and on the road in front of you.
Good Yomtov,
The YWN CR
June 7, 2011 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #777403shlishiMemberpumper:
As you said yourself that it will always happen with straight skirts but not flairy skirts; the solution is to wear flairy skirts and to not wear straight skirts, as the problem will occur with straight skirts.
June 7, 2011 10:22 pm at 10:22 pm #777404real-briskerMemberYou sholdn’t be looking into other peoples cars. (I am not justifying them)
June 7, 2011 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #777405shlishiMemberOnly a blind person won’t see in cars when crossing the street or walking. Cars are driving in public not in a garage.
June 7, 2011 11:04 pm at 11:04 pm #777406HaLeiViParticipantI haden’t really noticed this phenomenon. However, I don’t think it is Ek Velt. Do you really think that for an observer there is such a difference between 2 inches under and 2 inches over? Staring is Assur even at a pinky. You have to dress Tzniusdik, and you did. The only Tznius issues that bother me are the Emporer’s Tights and skirts that are, I guess, border line knee high. Both of these stand out without looking for it.
June 7, 2011 11:45 pm at 11:45 pm #777407real-briskerMemberDon’t blame Yenim, Justify yourself. The streets these days are full of pritzus, If you don’t want to be michsal, then don’t go outside. Blaming Yenim is not an answer, how are you going to correct the way the other 90% of people (goyim) on the street dress?
June 10, 2011 2:43 am at 2:43 am #777408mddMemberReal-brisker, according to you, the women do not have to dress tsniusdik(chas ve’sholom)!! And one notices this matzav automatically, without specifically looking for it. The answer is:
1) women have to realize that they are seen while getting into cars and while inside;
2) they should wear clothing which covers them properly.
June 10, 2011 2:52 am at 2:52 am #777409apushatayidParticipantCrisis?
June 10, 2011 3:09 am at 3:09 am #777410mddMemberMinyan gal, with a really long skirt, there would not be problems.
June 10, 2011 3:11 am at 3:11 am #777411mddMemberHaLeivi, length makes a difference!!
June 10, 2011 3:15 am at 3:15 am #777412☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantCrisis?
It got you to look at the thread! 😉
June 10, 2011 3:35 am at 3:35 am #777413pumperMember“Please do not answer not to wear a straight skirt or not to travel in cars.”
“As you said yourself that it will always happen with straight skirts but not flairy skirts; the solution is to wear flairy skirts and to not wear straight skirts, as the problem will occur with straight skirts.”
Yay me for anticipating answers before they were even given!
June 10, 2011 3:45 am at 3:45 am #777414shlishiMemberpumper: I know you said not to give that answer – but it is the only answer. If you asked what is 1+1, but you specified don’t answer me “2”, the answer is still 2.
June 10, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am #777415GetzelParticipantok new isur coming out asuring woman and girls from using suvs and mini vans singed by the dot
June 10, 2011 4:00 am at 4:00 am #777416observanteenMembershlishi: It doesn’t look like you’re female. You’ll never understand the great nisayon of dressing according to the style. As a girl, I can say that yes, it IS TERRIBLY DIFFICULT!!! I too wear straight skirts – cuz EVERYONE does. I did stop wearing one favorite skirt that was too tight, but I still wear them. So please don’t just say, “don’t wear them”. You can wear tzniusdik straight skirts too.
Pumper: I pull my skirt down while entering/exiting a car. Or cover it with a bag/pocket book as aries suggested.
June 10, 2011 4:08 am at 4:08 am #777417okay thenMemberI agree, it definitely is a problem, and I’m talking about for women who ARE COUNSCIOUS OF remaining tznius at all times. Even if you can make sure your knees are covered when walking and sitting, there is no way to remain totally fine when getting in and out of the car even if you try… what to do??? you just hafta hope nobodys looking…
June 10, 2011 4:11 am at 4:11 am #777418oomisParticipantDoes anyone have any tips on how to keep tznius when wearing a straight skirt? Please do not answer not to wear a straight skirt or not to travel in cars. I would like some PRACTICAL advice! ‘
Here is practical advice. When exiting either side of the car, swing your legs outward, so your body is pivoted, then put both legs on the ground and stand up. It should prevent your skirt from riding up
June 10, 2011 4:17 am at 4:17 am #777419shlishiMemberobservanteen: Hoping to pull the skirt every time it is too short is a poor excuse since there WILL be times you forger. You need a skirt that never needs to be pulled or covered to keep you tznius.
okay then: And hoping no one is looking is really bad. You should always expect people will see.
June 10, 2011 4:17 am at 4:17 am #777420mddMemberOkay then, i am sorry, it is not o.k. Wear a longer skirt! It is assur to be not-tsniusdik. You must do whatever it takes. If you are in a place where it’s difficult to get kosher food, so what do you do? Eat treif? Pritzus is also assur.
June 10, 2011 4:23 am at 4:23 am #777421observanteenMemberoomis: Thank you. Good advice.
shlishi: I didn’t write “‘hoping’ to pull the skirt”. I pull them. And I don’t forget, because tznius is a part of me B”H.
June 10, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am #777422shlishiMemberobservanteen: Even so there will be times you will unfortunately not pull it enough and not even realize it. Like mdd said, you need a longer skirt.
June 10, 2011 5:29 am at 5:29 am #777423real-briskerMembermdd – Did you miss the part of my post that said “I am not justifying them)”? I did not state anywhere that these people are not doing wrong.
June 10, 2011 6:28 am at 6:28 am #777424des111Memberseriously who ever thinks this is a real issue needs to get a life and stop looking so closely at what other people are doing
June 10, 2011 10:11 am at 10:11 am #777427mikehall12382MemberI love it how men are giving women advice on what type of skirt to wear. The big question is men discussing women’s clothing tznius 🙂
June 10, 2011 10:13 am at 10:13 am #777428mikehall12382MemberToo bad we can’t air brush women out of the streets like we do in newspapers, that would solve the problem :)!!!!!!
June 10, 2011 10:14 am at 10:14 am #777429mikehall12382MemberSorry double post
June 10, 2011 2:22 pm at 2:22 pm #777431mddMemberPeople, who think it’s a non-issue, should get some Yiras Shamaim. And again, one does not have to look for it — one can just happen to see it.
June 10, 2011 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #777432pumperMemberTo those that said we hafta wear longer skirts- I want you to know that I am usually very makpid that my skirts be at least 3-4 inches under my knee. But when wearing a straight skirt- unless its 3 inches above your ankles, chances are that it will ride up when entering or exiting a car (especially a minivan!!!)
Like observanteen said- it is not practical to say dont wear straight skirts. Everyone is gonna wear them anyway. We just hafta find a way to be tznius while wearing them
June 10, 2011 2:28 pm at 2:28 pm #777433mddMemberAnd in times of Beis HaMikdash, a man-Cohen would take off sota’s(r’l) head-gear and rip her dress! Ponder this, Michael12382.
June 10, 2011 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #777435real-briskerMembermdd – If one is just going to see it, then stay home. You can’t stop all the goyim from the way they dress.
June 10, 2011 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #777436shlishiMemberpumper: Instead of “usually” being very makpid, make it “always”. Also, if it needs to be 3 inches above the ankles, then that’s what’s needed. And if straight skirts can’t always do the job, then they shouldn’t be worn.
June 10, 2011 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #777437Pac-ManMemberr-b: That’s a pretty bone-headed comment. First of all, Jews are more interested in Jews than in shiksas, so it’s worse when it is another Jew who is sinning compared to a goyta. Secondly, even one more sinner inappropriately dressed is a tragedy on all levels.
June 10, 2011 5:25 pm at 5:25 pm #777440gavra_at_workParticipantFirst of all, Jews are more interested in Jews than in shiksas, so it’s worse when it is another Jew who is sinning compared to a goyta
Joe:
Completely disagree. A Jewess is either a Niddah or Eishes Ish, making action with her subject to Kares. A Non-jew is neither, and only a Dirabannan according to the Rambam (depending on the Machlokes Rishonim as per what is Lo’ Tischanen, see Keddushin 68B and Tos. there). As such, Jewish males are probably more interested in non-Jewesses (there are some interesting quotes regarding this concept, but I will omit them here).
June 10, 2011 5:26 pm at 5:26 pm #777441pumperMembershlishi-
making a ban on wearing straight skirts would be a wonderful way to turn off most teenagers.
We have to work with what we have, the styles are straight, and most woman are gonna wear them regardless.
Don’t put down those who are at least trying to do the right thing. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and girls in this generation are not born rebbetzins. It is easy for you to stand on your pedestal and make blanket statements. Take it from a girl who is struggling with this- it’s harder than it looks.
June 10, 2011 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #777442real-briskerMemberJoesph – I think you missed my point.
June 10, 2011 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #777443Pac-ManMembergavra: We are talking about issurei shmiras einayim (not c”v an actual issur of kares or worse), in which case Jews are more prone to be interested in other Jews than goytas.
June 10, 2011 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #777444ZeesKiteParticipantgavra_at_work:
I think the man is right. In Oz v’hadar, he says the same. Jews are affected more by Jewesses. Look it up.
June 10, 2011 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm #777445mikehall12382MemberBurquas, that would solve everything…
June 10, 2011 5:59 pm at 5:59 pm #777446apushatayidParticipantI think people should stop looking into other peoples car windows. It is kind of creepy if you think about it.
June 10, 2011 6:00 pm at 6:00 pm #777447WolfishMusingsParticipantFeh… who is the posek who even allows women to be in cars in the first place? 🙂
The Wolf
June 10, 2011 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #777448anon1m0usParticipantmdd: A sotah has nothing to do with not being Tznius. A women can be miyachud with a man and not be a sotah. The husband has to explicitly tell her not be be miyachud with a particular man.
June 10, 2011 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #777450Pac-ManMembermike: Why don’t you further denigrate the Torah by calling those who uphold the Mitzvah in the Torah of Tznius as being “Taliban”, “Mullahs”, and “Ayatollahs”. The same people who equate tznius to “burquas”, do the same.
June 10, 2011 6:07 pm at 6:07 pm #777451Pac-ManMemberanon1m0us: Sotah has everything to do with tznius. If she got to that status and her husband warned her, she clearly violated and stampeded on every part of tznius.
apy: Like someone said, unless one is blind he will see women when he crosses or walks the street as much as he doesn’t want to. Please don’t try crossing the street with your eyes closed.
June 10, 2011 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm #777452ZeesKiteParticipantDoes anyone recall the fashion which Rus picked wheat in Boaz’s field? Maybe this is one for – “Who wants to be a Tzadaikes like Rus?”
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