Toras Avigdor

Q: The Rav mentioned tonight that we are obligated to love all frum Jews as brothers, because Hashem loves them and we want to think along with Hashem. Should we consider the Modern Orthodox, those who are far away from the Torah ideals that the Rav constantly speaks about, as brothers as well?

A: Absolutely, the Modern Orthodox are our brothers. Absolutely! If a Jew is a שומר מצוות, he tries to keep the mitzvos, then even thought he doesn’t exactly do everything the way we do it, he’s still a brother. If he doesn’t do עבירות, if he’s a שומר מצוות, I don’t care what kind of yarmulke he wears. If he wears a knitted yarmulka or if he wears something else, he’s still my brother. A person who keeps טהרת המשפחה, family purity, he eats kosher, he sends his children to Yeshiva and not public school, he’s a shomer Shabbos, he has mezuzahs on his doors – a person like that is our brother, and don’t make any mistake about it.

Now, of course, that doesn’t mean that he has to be your brother and that you’ll move into the same house as him. It doesn’t mean that you should associate with him. That’s something else all together. You only associate with the best ones because you want to be the best. But when you see him on the street, you have a mitzvah of ואהבת לרעך כמוך – you have a mitzvah to love him. Whenever you see a Jew with a yarmulka, make sure to bless him. Say ברכם טהרם רחמם צדקתך תמיד גמלם. “Hashem, please bless him with all good things.” That’s how to think about your fellow Jew. Always be friendly to your fellow Jew. Always try to help your fellow Jew. In your heart you should think, “He’s not a stranger to me, because he’s אחיך במצוות. He’s my brother as long as he keeps the מצוות.” And even though he follows a different Rebbi, or a different set of political objectives, nevertheless don’t lose sight of the fact that fundamentally he belongs to your people and that therefore you’re מחויב, you’re obligated, to think well of him and to love him.

Once more, that doesn’t mean that you should send your children to the schools where his children go. And it doesn’t mean that you should follow the styles of dress that he follows. No, not at all. But you must have in mind that he is your brother and that you love him.
TAPE # 990

Rav Avigdor Miller on Leaving A Newborn on The Doorstep

Q: What should the thoughts of a person be, when he finishes a mesechta of Gemara?

A: When a person finishes a mesechta of Gemara, here should feel intense joy. Not just joy – intense joy! And after that, intense responsibility. You learned a mesechta, make sure to begin reviewing it. Otherwise it’ll go lost. And the next time you see it, it’ll be like a brand new Gemara. You learned a mesechta; review it again and again and again and again. Lock it in. It’s like a person giving you money. If I would give you money, would you just leave it on your front steps?! You want to just leave it to get lost?!

So therefore, when you finish learning something, when you complete a לימוד, you should feel two things: an intense joy and an intense responsibility. Make sure to chazer. Chazer. Chazer. Always review what you learned and lock it in.

It’s such a tragedy to forget. So you have two attitudes. Number one is ברוך ה׳, I learned a mesechta. That’s a tremendous happiness. And it’s also a tremendous responsibility. That’s number two. It’s a tremendous responsibility. When a child is born to you, it’s a big שמחה, yes? Are you going to leave that child on the doorstep?!

TAPE # E-217

Rav Avigdor Miller on Empty Heads and Wandering Eyes

Q: What could I do to avoid seeing all the פריצות, all the immorality and immoral sights, that are so prevelant on the streets in the summer months?

A: First of all, most important, since you have to pass through the streets, you have to train yourself to keep your eyes on the sidewalk. It’s not too difficult and it’s very important. It’s possible. And it’s only when a man’s eyes wander, then he becomes vulnerable to the environment. Get into the habit of just looking at the sidewalk. Of course, when you have to cross the street, look both ways carefully, go across the street, and then look back at the sidewalk again. You can train your eyes. It takes some effort, though.

Hashem declared ולא תתורו אחרי עיניכם – Don’t go spying after your eyes. If your eyes are wandering, then naturally they will find things. And on the streets, it will not always be good things.

In addition to this, the Rambam says that into a mind full of Torah, a mind that is filled with Torah thoughts and Torah ideals, foolishness won’t be able to enter. Of course, it’s not so easy to do, but every person must develop a habit of thinking in רוחניות, thinking in avodas Hashem. When you’re walking in the street, why shouldn’t you be thinking about avodas Hashem? And these thoughts will drive foolish ideas out of your head. It’s only when the mind is a vacuum, so narishkeit, foolish things, come into the head.

When you walk in the street, why can’t you think about נפלאות הבורא, the wonders of Hashem’s creations?! Why can’t you sing to Hashem in the streets?! Walk and sing to Hashem, “Boruch Hashem, I’m well. I’m not on two crutches, not in a wheelchair. I don’t even need a cane. Boruch Hashem, המכין מצעדי גבר. I can walk. Boruch Hashem, I have my own two kidneys and I am producing urine every day properly. I don’t need any artificial kidneys.”

Anybody who has a healthy heart, should thank הקדוש ברוך הוא that he didn’t need any bypass surgery, that his heart is beating every day normally, functioning perfectly. There’s so much to sing to הקדוש ברוך הוא about. If you have Torah, think about Torah. Get into the habit, train yourself, that your mind should be full of singing to הקדוש ברוך הוא and thinking about the נפלאות הבורא and thinking in דברי תורה too. Repeat your Gemara lesson while you’re walking in the street.

In general, you must know, there are so many things for people to think about – good things. It’s only because the mind is empty and the eyes are wandering, that you have a problem. Naturally, if your head is empty, your wandering eyes will bring all kinds of garbage into your head.

TAPE # 604

פרשת קרח

In this week’s Parsha we read about Korach and his two cohorts, Dasan and Aviram who lead a rebellion against Moshe Rabeinu. And in the final showdown, Moshe Rabeinu was told by Hashem to give his final warning to those who had been swayed by the smooth words of these three rebels. “Remove yourself from the area adjacent to the dwellings of Korach, Dasan and Aviram…Turn away now from the tents of these evil men… Lest you be destroyed along with them because of their sins.”

Now, Korach’s tent was in the section of Kehas, in the area set aside for the Levi’im, while Dasan and Aviram dwelled together in a separate area set aside for the tribe of Reuven. But here it is evident that their dwellings were together. They were both located on the eastern side of the Mishkan and it is obvious that despite the segregation of each tribe in separate sections, Dasan and Aviram had pitched their tents on the outskirts of their section; and thus they were near Korach’s tent which was on the outskirts of the section of Kehas. And Chazal tell us the following with regards to the location of Dasan and Aviram in close proximity to Korach: אוי לרשע אוי לשכינו “Woe to the evildoer, woe to his neighbor.” Now, it is probable that these men had chosen to be near each other because they shared certain opinions in common and therefore gravitated to one another’s company. But there is no doubt that the dwelling in close proximity to one another subjected them to negative influence and made them much worse. Their choosing of the wrong neighbors, the wrong acquaintances and the wrong influences brought upon them their ruination and destruction.

To live among the wicked is a most definite cause for a man becoming wicked himself. And not only among the wicked – even to live among Jews who are not excited about serving Hashem, will most definitely cool you off. If you want to be the best, if you want to be a success in the eyes of Hashem, then you must make it your business to live among the best, among those who are successful in the eyes of Hashem. You should be living among the good ones – conversing with them, consulting them, eating with them and walking with them. As much as you can, make sure to be surrounded by the best of the עם ישראל.

But Dasan and Aviram didn’t learn this lesson. And those of the עם ישראל who joined together with them, failed this important test as well. And that’s why the final warning of Hashem was, “Remove yourselves from the dwellings of Korach, Dasan and Aviram.Turn away now, from the tents of these evil men.” The first step to saving yourself from everlasting destruction and ruination is to separate from the wicked. A man becomes whatever his environment is. It can’t be helped! You can be a frum and loyal Jew, but if you are in the wrong environment, it will ruin you. Anyone who wants to be a success in עבודת ה׳, which is the only reason you are in this world, must always keep in mind to choose – and to be constantly choosing – a good environment for …

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Maybe break this up into multiple posts?

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Q:
I saw in a sefer that music is the highest form of spirituality, right underneath the level of Torah. Is that true?

A:
That’s שקר וכזב. It’s totally false. Music is לא כלום – it’s nothing at all. Sometimes you have a man who sings well, and he wants to sell you his merchandise, so he tells you, music is this and it’s that. No, no. It’s nothing at all.

The Chofetz Chaim didn’t have any music in his place. There was no music in the Chofetz Chaim’s house. No kind of music. He sang zemiros at the table, but it was mostly pensive, thoughtful things that he sang – nothing fancy. Rabbi Yisroel Salanter didn’t have any music. The gedolei Yisroel didn’t have any music. Music is for the המון עם, for the common folk. You have a lot of עמי הארץ, a lot of common folk, and you want to attract them to your table, so you sing. No harm. It’s better than going out in the street Motzei Shabbos. So they gather around the Rebbe’s table and they sing zemiros – very good. No harm done.

There was a man who told me that when he came as a boy to America, he would have gone lost, but the Melavah Malka saved him. They sang music there and that saved him. But it doesn’t mean that it’s best thing to do. When people get together and they speak דברי אלוקים חיים, when they speak words of Torah, that’s the very best music.

So music has absolutely no value, unless it’s accompanied by noble thoughts. And the Leviyim didn’t just sing bim-bum-bim-bum-biddy-bum-bum in the בית המקדש. They sang words. שירו לו זמרו לו, שיחו בכל נפלאותיו (Tehillim 105-2). שירו and שיחו means words. Words, yes. Words of music are inspiring. Words that help create Torah thoughts in your mind. But music without words is just tickling your nerves, and it’s a waste of time.
TAPE # 609

Q:
How should one curb his desire and the desire of his family to always “keep up with the Joneses”?

A:
Let him listen to these tapes. Play the tapes of these lectures in your home, to your family. It’s of the greatest importance to create an atmosphere of independence in your family – “We don’t follow the crowd!” It’s important. It’s very important. Here’s a man who is in dire straits financially; he’s on the verge of bankruptcy. But he has to marry off a child. And it costs him $50,000. He can’t help himself because his wife is pressing him, “How can we have less? We’ll be ashamed to face our friends. How can we not have this or that?” So this man thinks that he is a prisoner of circumstance. And so he goes even more deeply into debt. He borrows to make an expensive wedding. What a shoiteh he is! What a fool! Who cares what the relatives will say?! Who cares what the neighbors will say?!

You can make a wedding even without a smorgasbord. Oh, of course, it’s apikorsus to say such a thing. Let’s say you were a German Jew. German Jews don’t make a smorgasbord. And therefore, you have a good model to follow. In every aspect of life, we have to learn to be independent – independent of the foolish pressures from outside the home. Because constantly we’re being pressured to spend money, to keep up with the relatives, and with the friends. Therefore, you’re running on a treadmill. You’re a prisoner of nothing, of false ideals. You’re laboring and spending your substance for something that הקדוש ברוך הוא never required you to do. That’s called wasting your life. You won’t get any reward for it, in this world or in the next world. You won’t get any reward for keeping up with the so-called Joneses or the Levys.
TAPE # 597

Q: Should I try to get a job that involves chesed, like a grocer or baker, someone who is involved in feeding the Jewish nation, rather than another job, where no chesed is involved?

A: You should get a job that pays the most money. That’s your job – to earn money. You’ll be doing the biggest chesed by bringing home a decent paycheck for your family.

Now, if you happen to be a baker or a grocer, it’s not a bad idea that when you hand the bread over to the customer, you should be thinking, נותן לחם לכל בשר כי לעולם חסדו (Tehillim 136-25). Nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all. You’re a שליח, a messenger of Hashem, feeding His people. Nothing wrong with thinking that. On the contrary, why not utilize the opportunity? You can achieve greatness if you apply your mind and use your thoughts in the right way.

And so too, the mother who is serving food at the table, should think that she is נותן לחם לכל בשר. She is doing it as a שליח of הקדוש ברוך הוא. If you think that way, it will transform your actions. You have to train yourself to transform the actions that you already are doing, by putting the right thoughts into them.

So make sure to get a job that pays the most money, and while you’re working in that place, use whatever opportunities you can find, to think about Hashem and to become great. You don’t have to be a baker or a butcher or a grocer to serve Hashem at work. The opportunities for greatness are endless at any job you have; only that it will take some effort on your part.

TAPE # 645

Q:
How can I learn to concentrate when I’m learning Gemara? I find myself not remembering what I learn.

A:
You can learn to concentrate by practice, and you practice as follows: When you learn something, have in mind that you have a responsibility to repeat it, to repeat it out loud when you finish that piece. If you’re just learning in order to get through the words, you’ll gallop right through, without any feeling of responsibility. That’s not going to work at all. But when you know that you have to say it over to yourself; as you’re learning, your mind is concentrating on, “What am I saying right now? What am I saying, because I’ll soon want to say it over to myself.”

Whether it’s a piece of Gemara or a piece of Rashi or a Tosfos, while you’re learning it, think, “I’m soon going to repeat this to myself without looking in the Gemara, and in order to do that, I must understand what I’m saying.”

And this applies to women as well. When you’re learning a Mussar sefer, a hashkafa sefer or anything, don’t just say the words superficially. You have to make it part of yourself. You have to assimilate the Torah ideas into your mind. When you read words of Torah, don’t read it like you read the newspaper. Read it to know it.

So, always study with this idea in your mind, that you’re going to have to repeat it as soon as you finish. And then do it – repeat it out loud. What I’m telling you now is a segulah, a very important piece of advice. And it’s not patented; everybody can use it.
TAPE # 490

Q:
In davening we ask Hashem, ואל תביאינו לא לידי נסיון – Don’t bring us into a situation of being tested. Why do we ask Hashem to help us avoid all נסיונות, all forms of spiritual tests, if the whole reason we are in this world is to face our tests, pass them and become great thereby?

A:
We ask Hashem, אל תביאינו לא לידי נסיון. Why? And the answer is that among the tests that Hashem sends upon us is the success of avoiding the test. If we successfully avoid a test, let’s say, you are בורח מן העבירה – you run away from the possibility of a sin, then you have successfully passed the test. Any form of keeping away from the נסיון is the most successful way of dealing with the נסיון.

Anybody who comes close to a נסיון willingly is already blameworthy. And even though he succeeds in overcoming the temptation, he is blamed. Why did you bring yourself close to the sin?! He is blamed for that. You should be afraid of an עבירה. You should run away from the possibility of sin. There’s no need to look for tests. You’re facing them all day long. All day! And you’re not even aware of most of them. So whatever you can do to avoid them is already a success.

And therefore, we have many תקנות in the עם ישראל, many Rabbinic restrictions, that are intended for the sole purpose of protecting us from נסיונות.

You should never look for נסיונות. Never look for tests! That itself is a successful reaction to the problems that are facing us. הוי בורח מן העבירה. Avoid the problems that you can avoid. That itself is a great success.
TAPE # E-195

Q:
I learned in the גמרא about some of the חכמים who had bad wives that were very troublesome and made their lives difficult. What lesson can I take from that גמרא?

A:
How is it that some אמוראים had bad wives who made their lives miserable? You should know, that none of them had bad wives. They all appreciated their wives. And if their wives made them miserable, they were very happy about that. You have to know that these wives were all honored by them. A תלמיד חכם surely fulfilled the מצוה of הוי אוהב את אשתו כגופו והוי מכבדו יותר מגופו. He would always be careful to honor his wife more than he honored himself. When a wife criticizes a husband, you should know that she is doing a very great thing. Nobody will criticize this great man. Who’s going to tell him the truth outside the house. And after a while he begins to think, “Maybe I really am great.” So he comes home and right away his wife deflates him. She puts a pin in his balloon and it bursts. That’s a tremendous achievement. It’s a שלימות, a perfection. It’s a שלימות to be put down to size once in a while.

So nobody had any bad wives. It never happened by the חכמים that they would just give a get to their wives because of that. The חכמים were pleased with their wives.

And therefore, each great man understood that Hashem had suited his wife to his own character. They understood that they were made for each other. They were made to order. And this was done for the purpose that he should grow perfectly in שלימות. In order that he should grow in self control, in order that he should grow in good מידות, Hashem gave him a wife who is a נסיון for him. So spends his life practicing self-control, and he becomes better and better. And when he comes to גן עדן, he and his wife will be together in גן עדן.

A wise man understood that his wife was important. His wife cooked for him. She gave him children. She raised the children and fulfilled her duties in the house. Together they brought up a family. There’s no question that every wife did her duty in the Jewish home. Especially in the homes of תלמידי חכמים. And therefore, there’s no such thing as bad wives among the wives of the תנאים and אמוראים.

Even though, sometimes the wives would criticize them, or they were not obedient in some details, nevertheless in general they served a most important purpose and they were appreciated.
TAPE # E-199