To grammar or not to grammar…

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  • #601528
    soliek
    Member

    Never start a sentence with and, but, or because. One is instructed to never split an infinitive. Ending sentences with prepositions is a practice one should never get used to. These are all rules, absolute axioms to which one must reverently adhere or face dire consequences at the hands of the Guardian Grammarians who, ever vigilant, valiantly safeguard the Internet from those who would dare to violate their sacred laws. But what is their true purpose? Have they, and by extension, we, lost track of the true purpose of grammar? To find that answer we must ask the question: Why does grammar exist?

    Fifty cows became a bit much to transport to market every week, so the farmers began exchanging chits in place of cows. And this system worked for another thirty years, until business became so great that the chits became too numerous to be managed individually. So one day the farmers got together and appointed a man to be in charge of all the chits; each man would be assigned a box where he could keep his chits and where they would be readily available should a merchant ever feel the need to collect. And so it was; people would write chits on whatever they had available and store them at ye olde bank.

    Seventy years later, the grandson of one of the partners was travelling through the town of one of the other partners when he happened across a beautiful woman. He decided to stay for a while in the town and, one thing leading to another, eventually engaged the woman who just so happened to be the daughter of this other partner. The day of the wedding came, and in the presence of the dapper groom and the stunning bride, the partners met for the first time in three quarters of a century. Over drinks later, recounting their heady days of booming business, they all decided to put the past behind them and renew the partnership once more.

    #842062
    oomis
    Participant

    “Ending sentences with prepositions is a practice one should never get used to”

    Never end a sentence with a proposition, either. As to the last six words of your sentence, LOL!!!!

    #842063
    Sam2
    Participant

    You are allowed to start sentences with ands or buts. It does not automatically create a fragment like your teachers in grade school claim.

    #842064
    soliek
    Member

    this is actually from a lesson i gave two days ago 😀 i had so much fun giving it that i decided to turn it into an article 🙂

    #842065
    skiaddict
    Member

    soliek….!!!

    #842066
    soliek
    Member

    I’m teaching someone how to write–someone whose entire knowledge of the English language and its usage comes from an elementary school and GED education, both of which focus heavily on grammar but not enough on theory. So I gave him a book by Stanley fish on writing and he came over to me every minute or so, pointing out various “grammatical errors” like a seemingly misplaced comma, or an ‘and’ at the beginning of a sentence, and I eventually had to explain all this to him and tell him to chuck everything that his prior education had taught him regarding the English language.

    #842067
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    aye all persons must drastically improve their grammar herein and hereafter

    #842068
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Hear, hear!

    #842069
    soliek
    Member

    “aye all persons must drastically improve their grammar herein and hereafter”

    or else 😛

    “soliek….!!!”

    ?

    “You are allowed to start sentences with ands or buts. It does not automatically create a fragment like your teachers in grade school claim.”

    they claim it because many times it does create a fragment as it can just as easily be appended to the previous sentence. what they dont tell you is that sometimes fragment sentences are acceptable when used properly and not always does and but or because at the start of a sentence create a fragment.

    #842070
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I use fragments all the time. Well, not with reckless abandon…but complete sentences just don’t have the same oomph, y’know?

    #842071
    soliek
    Member

    ofc

    #842072
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    I’m more of a math guy so… +1

    #842073
    soliek
    Member

    see its funny cuz i cant math at all…

    #842074
    writersoul
    Participant

    William Safire’s Rules of Writing and Grammar

    Remember to never split an infinitive.

    A preposition is something never to end a sentence with.

    The passive voice should never be used.

    Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

    Don’t use no double negatives.

    Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.

    Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.

    Do not put statements in the negative form.

    Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

    No sentence fragments.

    Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

    Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

    If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

    A writer must not shift your point of view.

    Eschew dialect, irregardless.

    And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

    Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!

    Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

    Hyphenate between sy-

    llables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.

    Write all adverbial forms correct.

    Don’t use contractions in formal writing.

    Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

    It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.

    If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

    Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.

    Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

    Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

    Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

    Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

    If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.

    Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

    Don’t string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

    Always pick on the correct idiom.

    “Avoid overuse of ‘quotation “marks.”‘”

    The adverb always follows the verb.

    Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.

    Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

    Employ the vernacular.

    Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

    Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

    Contractions aren’t necessary.

    Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

    One should never generalize.

    Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

    Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

    Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

    Be more or less specific.

    Understatement is always best.

    One-word sentences? Eliminate.

    Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

    Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

    Who needs rhetorical questions?

    Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

    capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with a point

    #842075
    soliek
    Member

    i disagree with the cliche one…if used correctly cliches can add to your writing

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