Home › Forums › Bais Medrash › Tips For Better Davening
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April 8, 2009 6:45 am at 6:45 am #656582JaxMember
moish: that was some post you posted there buddy! i’ll keep you in mind in my tefillos on pesach for all the good stuff! i know what it’s like to really want to change, but just don’t know what to do next! i’ve been there too once, keep strong & remember Hashem helps those trying to improve! chag kasher & hatzlacha!
April 8, 2009 1:11 pm at 1:11 pm #656584an open bookParticipantAOB, is that like an elders first thing?
kapusta: no, i had an idea of what i wanted to say but couldn’t really put it in words, so i waited for someone else answer. i knew you would have something to say here 😉
now you have any advice for circusgirl in the random questions thread? i’m having the same sort of problem there.
moish, i think anonymisss (thanks) kinda said what i wanted to say:
He always wants to hear from you, no matter what you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be words from a siddur, it doesn’t have to be regarding something catastrophic. If it has to do with you, I give you my word, He wants to hear about it. Even if it’s, “Hashem, I can’t find my cell phone, could You help me find it?” or, “Hashem, I hate when my mother….” anything, anything, anything goes. He wants to have a relationship with you and relationships do begin with regular communication, even about the most mundane things.
April 8, 2009 2:04 pm at 2:04 pm #656585areivimzehlazehParticipantTeiyera moish,
Are you here? It’s a very busy day for all of us- I’m not sure when you’ll get to see this.
When I read your post I was left speechless. Yes, I areivimzehlazeh was for the first time in history LEFT SPEECHLESS.
Once my brain thawed, I reread your post 3 more times (shlepping shmattis and my heart being torn apart all at the same time). Then I read what anonymiss & kapusta had to write. Very well said
I really don’t know what to add. Should I urge you to speak to a Rav or supportive adult (face to face) even though you refuse to do that? Should I tell you to just stop, drop & daven- don’t think, just do?
I had a piece of inspiration when I saw the sun peek through the clouds this morning. It was a completely overcast, cloudy sky; and just when I almost gave up looking for the sun- there it was! In all it’s glory- the brightest rays! Rays of hope, an answer to my prayers, an uplifting and inspiring experience. Such s’yatta dishmaya. At that minute I felt so driven and confident that I can accomplish anything I set my heart to!
Please moish- please don’t feel so down. Try to understand that Hashem yearns with all His “heart” to be close to us and is broken hearted that we don’t want to communicate with Him!! He gives us tzaros so that we can become better human beings and COME BEGGING TO HIM, COME CRYING TO HIM… come TALK to him- and plead for his help in all matters of our lives. Unfortunately, when things run too smoothly we lose that fervor when davening to Hashem and we lose that close relationship. Hashem wants it back- so He gives us something to come talk to Him about.
Here is your big break- the chance of a lifetime to get rid of your preconceived notions of davening and come to Hashem with all your troubles.
You have turned a corner moish- believe it! Don’t downplay your outstanding accomplishments! How many teens can hold them selves back the way you did??
moish- YOU INSPIRE ME TO BE A BETTER PERSON.
If I sit here longer, I will type and type and type. You simply can not imagine how amazing you truly are! And trust me- this is coming from deep down.
This time period for you is beyond difficult- it’s almost cruel to you. Please, please try to keep in mind that Hashem just wants to hear from you. He wants the best out of you. And He knows there’s SO MUCH good in you- please use it for Him. Try to remember- there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. The sky seems completely overcast now- but we need to search, and look, and daven, and work hard! THERE WILL BE BRIGHT RAYS OF SUNLIGHT AT THE END OF THIS! (When we work on strengthening our emunah, it’s easier to see and believe in this light at the end of the tunnel.)
Areivim
PS- I find that reading inspiring stories on any subject opens the heart and makes davening more meaningful.
April 8, 2009 3:15 pm at 3:15 pm #656586moish01Memberi’m guessing that’s it for the updates, but i just saw this.
first of all, i did wake up and put on t’fillin and daven this morning. not with a minyan or anything, but ok. i just felt worse afterward- like the biggest hypocrite on planet earth. plus guilty the entire time because you don’t wanna know WHAT was on my mind – with t’fillin and all. complete backfire.
(i actually woke up just in time to say bircas hachama – and 9 AM is the middle of the night for me.)
anonymisss,
anshei knesses hagedolah incorporated more or less everything you could ask for into the shmoneh esrei. but i don’t think they knew what i was feeling. i think you’re mixing that up with dovid hamelech and tehillim. they say dovid felt every type of yessurim ever because his neshama was an extension of adam’s and we all come from adam. i can’t imagine dovid in my position, but i won’t argue.
kapusta,
i hate to break it to you, but that’s not too comforting either. i didn’t doubt that it’s from hashem. and i definitely don’t doubt that i deserve it. but how did i get to deserve it? because i get bigger tests or have greater taavos.
so basically, hashem gives me a close to impossible test, waits for me to fail and then pays me back with suffering? gee that’s i great way to look at it. pure love or not, there’s no way i’m getting out of this alive. (or dead, for that matter.)
and about my friends- i’m not forgetting about them. they’re everything i have. which means that at the current moment i have almost nothing and it’s my fault. they’re better than i am (not that i’m the bad guy) at least they didn’t ditch me the way i did to them. i didn’t completely do anything – that would be really scary, i just hang out less often. like i’ve said before- no one else is going to gehinom because of me. let them burn on their own accounts.
except i can think of things that i’ve done that made other people sin. but those are one time cases – it’s not the norm.
and by the way, my mother came into my room while i was davening. i’m ready to kill someone. she doesn’t have to know everything.
April 8, 2009 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #656587kapustaParticipantmoish, I juat saw what I wrote, I didn’t mean to forget about your friends, that was supposed to be something like forget about “you’re dragging” (or non-dragging which is more likely) them down. Keep your sights high, when you hit rock bottom (seems like now) you can only go up. 🙂
April 12, 2009 1:45 am at 1:45 am #656589moish01Membermy bad – sorry about that, mod. here i fixed the last one – so you could delete it and put this one instead.
thanks, jax and AOB
kapusta, i don’t know about that. and i’ve been better, i’ve been worse. i don’t think there’s such a thing as “rock bottom.” unless you’re dead, there’s always worse.
wow areivim speechless? cool.
i posted my last before yours went up, but basically i’ll say the same thing i told kapusta. all this so that i feel like garbage and cry?? wow i sure appreciate that. i guess the one positive thing is that i inspire “areivimzehlazeh” to be a better person. no offense, but it doesn’t seem worth it. sorry, man.
why do you keep thinking i’m transforming in a couple of days? you don’t know how i was before. just by the way, i was exactly the same. i get into my moods. i haven’t “turned any corners” or anything. sorry to burst your bubble.
you don’t even know me and you expect way too much. i think you’re forgetting that i’m 16.
And i sure hope i don’t feel hashem’s presence at ALL times. it would be painfully hard to live with myself if i did. god, i need a break from the guilt once in a while.
April 12, 2009 1:56 am at 1:56 am #656591an open bookParticipantwhy do you always argue when someone thinks you’ve “turned a corner”? sometimes it takes someone else’s objective perspective to notice your growth. like when you meet someone you haven’t seen in a while & they mention how tall you got – & you feel same as ever.
April 12, 2009 5:44 am at 5:44 am #656592moish01Memberbecause i know i haven’t. and i’m not trying to. right now i don’t even want to. that’s why.
April 12, 2009 7:01 am at 7:01 am #656593anonymisssParticipantno pressure, moish. You do what you feel you’re ready to do. You were the one who said that you so badly wanted to daven and our (at least my) intention was only to guide you in something that you were asking about. No one can push you into doing something you don’t want to do or being someone you’re not ready to be. When you want, you will do, when you’re ready, you will be. It is totally and completely in your hands, ONLY!
As far as being “only 16,” as you say, I don’t know if you realize it, in the cr, you show that you have a depth and maturity way beyond a 16 yr old.
It sounds like you’re really struggling right now, I’m not sure with what. I wish I would be able to help you, I just really have no idea what’s going on. Although I have no clue who you are, I care very much about you and I daven for you every, single day. I hope that you will emerge from your struggles a stronger and better person. You really can’t imagine how much I care about you. I know there’s not much I can do for you in this forum, whenever you’re ready to talk, though, I am always here to listen.
moish, I wish you all the best. I’m rooting for you!
~a~
April 12, 2009 7:36 am at 7:36 am #656594aussieboyParticipantmoish: At least you still have the guilt. It shows you havent gone as far as you think you have.
April 12, 2009 9:17 am at 9:17 am #656595moish01Memberanonymisss, no pressure? i mean, i’m ignoring it, but you can’t exactly call these tremendously high expectations and praises and what-not “no pressure.” i’m not gonna kid myself or anyone else by letting them think i’m a tzaddik gammur and a masmid because i say modeh ani or a put on tfillin a couple of times in one week. it’s all one big fat lie.
but thanks, anonymisss.
aussie, i guess you have a point.
April 12, 2009 4:02 pm at 4:02 pm #656596anonymisssParticipantmoish, sorry, I should’ve been more clear. I meant that I am not putting any pressure on you. You do NOT have to conform to anyone’s expectations and/or standards but your own.
One big fat lie? NO!! God is fully aware of every single one of your struggles and challenges. He knows that sometimes you will succeed and sometimes not. Your job is only to try. God takes notice of every single action and rewards you for each and every one. It doesn’t matter what you do in between, it is NOT a lie. You are showing that you care and God appreciates that, too.
moish, no, I wouldn’t tell you that you’re a tzaddik gammur or a masmid. What I will tell you is that sometimes we think we know what “test” God is giving us and we don’t. For example, if someone is arguing with his/her father and maybe thinks his/her test is to not get angry at him. If the person does get angry, s/he will be frustrated and upset at him/herself for failing the test. Meanwhile, the test that God was giving that person was to not raise his/her voice at his/her father. We do not know what our challenge is, we just have to try our best. Could be you WERE successful and you just weren’t aware what your challenge really was meant to be. Those times you did say modeh ani or put on tefillin, you DID succeed and for those times, you WON!! You passed with flying colors!!
You’re not expected to be perfect, your job is to try.
~a~
April 12, 2009 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #656597moish01Membervery nice except you make it like i’m this growing baal tshuva. it’s not like i never used to do it all. i just sorta dropped it and i’m not in the mood for it. i’m not new at this – i probably know more than you do.
i guess if i really wanted to i could do it all. i know HOW to.
April 12, 2009 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #656598anonymisssParticipantI know you used to do it all and I know that you’re not new at this and I see how much you know, I wonder how much more you know that you’re not sharing here. It’s because of what you know that makes things you do not ok. I never said otherwise. You are fully responsible for every single action of yours. That still doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re going to be rewarded for the good that you do.
I know that you could do it, you just don’t feel like it. I don’t know what happened that caused you to somewhat suspend your observance right now. What I do know is that God knows what you’ve been through and what you’re going through and he does take that into account.
~a~
April 12, 2009 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm #656599moish01Memberyou’re great at guilt-tripping. anyone ever tell you that?
too late for today, though. maybe tomorrow 😉
April 12, 2009 10:52 pm at 10:52 pm #656600anonymisssParticipantI’m really sorry, moish. I didn’t intend to make you feel guilty, and no, I’ve NEVER been told that before. I have a sneaking suspicion that you will not take anything I say sitting down and I’m not here to argue with you (although if you like, I’m available for that, too.)
This is basically everything that I’ve said since last night in a nutshell:
a) Making davening meaningful to you begins with having a relationship with God.
b) Only you decide what you’re ready to do and when.
c) God understands your struggles and only asks that you do your best, nothing more.
d) If you do NOT always know in what way you’re being tested, you cannot feel like a failure.
e) You are fully respnsible for every single action that you do.
I truly care about you, moish, and I have no intentions of sending you on a guilt trip, (I’m not even sure which part is making you feel guilty.) Again, I have no idea what you’ve been through and I really can’t judge you, but God knows and He takes it into consideration. Every person is judged on his own scale. God does not measure people up to others, only to him/herself.
People aren’t perfect and God is well aware of that. Our job in life is not to be perfect, our job is to try.
I sincerely apologize for anything I’ve said that may have hurt you in any way.
~a~
April 13, 2009 4:46 pm at 4:46 pm #656601areivimzehlazehParticipantanonymiss- wow. I am no longer needed, seriously
Thank you for reiterating countless times that all we have to do is TRY. Period.
Trying isn’t part of it- it’s the whole point.
I’d like to add:
moish-
You came seeking inspiration for wanting to daven. You were obviously in one of your “moods” (as you call it). We were right along side you and trying to help. You really do not have to listen to anything, but don’t argue points which you know deep down are true.
In addition, “your moods” are not moods. They are reminders from Hashem; isolated moments of inspiration. I will repeat- if you do not act upon this inspiration right away, you will lose it… until the next time around. How exhausting. What a rollercoaster. Don’t you want to get past one point- get on to the next stage already? Besides, Hashem doesn’t offer too many reminders.
You feel horrible that you were thinking non-kosher thoughts while davening…
And you think Hashem can’t read your thoughts when you’re NOT davening???
I’m not saying this to freak you out- I’m saying this so that you can view davening as ‘normal’. It’s how you are naturally. You don’t have to daven only when you are feeling good and inspired and pure. Davening is for when you are feeling lousy, low and rotten too. ESPECIALLY when you’re feeling low and rotten…
No matter how you are at any given point in life, Hashem wants to hear from you. Even if your brain is muddled with things you’re ashamed to come to Hashem with.
There are tactics to clearing your mind of such things, but that’s a few steps further…
You didn’t turn a corner? Fine- I don’t know you at all, from beans, from a hole in the wall. We are completely anonymous. Better?
Ok- now that we cleared that up, what do you call your asking for help in bettering your davening? I don’t have to know you in order to say you’ve turned a corner! ANYONE asking for this has turned a corner.
So you think a ba’al t’shuva is only someone that has corrected everything?! WRONG. Any sort of spiritual growth, or any part of your middos, neshama or character which you are even ‘just’ WORKING ON correcting, is in the category of a ba’al t’shuva. Think of the literal translation of a “ba’al t’shuva” and you will realize that (hopefully) almost all jews fit in to this category.
I understand your fighting of the fact that some things may have changed. Change is hard, especially when it affects deep rooted character traits; something that has become a part of who you are. So you can negate and argue and deny… for now. Take your time- there’s no rush. After all, you’re only 16 (going on 35).
If you respond, I know part of the response will “thank” me for making you feel guilty. That’s not why I say the things I do, but if it does cause guilt- I hope it is ‘good guilt’ and that it leads in the right direction.
I am extremely happy that you davened and put on t’fillin- Hashem is even more ecstatic. This is something where I can freely use the expression “it fills my heart with joy” without exaggerating or sounding dramatic. Congratulations moish! I don’t care if it’s on and off, that you used to do it etc… I am very very happy that you were inspired enough to daven OR felt a need to talk to Hashem at that time. Take that moment of connection with Hashem and build on it- don’t let it slide.
Also-
I don’t know about the rest of the CR crew, but I take the time and thought to type these responses and I hope you are taking the time to read, re-read and re-re-read them. There are many different, small and big points being brought to the fore. They need to be absorbed properly. We keep going in circles… because what we have said in the past is not being absorbed.
Yes- there’s a lot of repetition, but sometimes it’s just one new sentence, a fresh perspective, that hits the spot.
I feel drained after reading these very difficult and heavy conversations. I can feel that what you are currently going through is tough, tough, tough. So if I’m just READING it, but you’re EXPERIENCING it… wow.
Try not to focus on “why me”. Just try- please. If anyone has advice on how to get past this- please share. (I think it’s all rooted in emuna. Technically, that should be a starting point for anything a person is trying to work on.)
Well, moish- this does form an emotional connection. Anonymous or not
(I’m so dizzy)
April 13, 2009 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #656602moish01Memberok, i just needed a break – 20 hours did the job.
don’t worry, anonymisss. hurt, i’m not. guilty? maybe that’s a little more relevant.
and can i just ask how in the world i’m supposed to do my best? there’s always better, right? how am i supposed to know if i’m filling it or not? no matter what i do it’s not enough anyway.
April 13, 2009 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #656603areivimzehlazehParticipantabout 2 hours ago I wrote a 1 and a half page response (MS Word) that did not get posted, probably because the mod doesn’t have time- forgiven. But can a mod please take a few minutes to read it sometime soon? Thanking you in advance
>> and can i just ask how in the world i’m supposed to do my best? there’s always better, right? how am i supposed to know if i’m filling it or not? no matter what i do it’s not enough anyway. <<
moish- you sound like you’re in the depths of gloom and despair. Get out, give yourself a break, refresh. You can’t continue like this. Get some hope and self esteem pumped into you ($1.89 at the station) and then come back with a renewed perspective. K?
ok, seriously, this is no way to go on. You must air out. You probably have cabin fever with pressure, guilt and eating yourself up about your friends all mixed together. Chill. Just relax. Stop worrying about your entire future. Focus on right now and take it one step at a time.
And remember- we’re really lucky Hashem is the one measuring effort and not us.
April 14, 2009 1:52 am at 1:52 am #656605JaxMemberareivim: i read all your long posts from the heart, & i gatta say that i get a lot out of them! thank you areivim!
moish: i’m not the one to be giving advice, i’ve done my share ”trouble”…but stay strong & hatzlacha!
April 14, 2009 4:12 am at 4:12 am #656606anonymisssParticipantareivim, wow! I am inspired from your posts, thank you!
moish, I’m happy to hear that you’re not hurt. That’s the last thing I would want to do to you. As far as guilty, well, it’s only good if it pushes you to do good things.
About the last part of your post, I think areivim’s right. You need to give yourself a break (maybe 20 hours is not enough.) Relax and chill out. No, you don’t need to worry about the next 103.5 years of your life right now. Now, you need to focus on doing what you believe to be your best in whatever challenges come your way. Our job is not to be perfect, we can only try. Just take it one step at a time. Chill out. Arity?
~a~
April 14, 2009 5:48 am at 5:48 am #656607moish01Memberi give up. after i killed myself to write the last one and it didn’t even go up? i can’t do this anymore.
areivim, all i’ll say is that you actually made me cry. i’m not kidding. i don’t know how you did it.
the only reason i said that is because i’m not posting anymore. i’ll read, so i’m not really gone but i can’t keep killing myself like this. sorry, guys.
thanks everyone for everything. you too, mods.
April 14, 2009 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #656608anonymisssParticipant(There is no way that words can say what I’m feeling like after reading that you’re not posting anymore, moish, but I tried.)
moish, I’m sitting here typing this with tears in my eyes. You have no idea how much you’ve impacted my life. You’ve made me stop and think more deeply into things and into myself. Any time that I responded to your posts, I read and re-read your post to make sure I get what you’re saying and then really take the time to think about my response. I care about you more than you can ever imagine. I know that you’re struggling but I really can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. I daven for you every day that you will find the strength within yourself to rise above your challenges.
You’re too precious and important to lose, moish. I really hope and wish that you’ll stay.
~a~
April 14, 2009 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm #656609areivimzehlazehParticipantNO NO NO NO NO NO NO
MOISH- COME BACK. Don’t give up- please!!
Please go to the Inspiring Quotes thread and read the ones I posted yesterday. I had you in mind throughout
April 14, 2009 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #656610JaxMembermoish: it deeply saddens me that you’ll only be reading these days! the cr will miss ya! i wish you all the best, you truly are a great guy moish-just from what i’ve seem here in the cr! i’ve learned a lot from you! hatzlacha! have a good yom tov!
p.s. maybe just hang in the hang maan thread for now?
April 14, 2009 7:25 pm at 7:25 pm #656611an open bookParticipantmoish: PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!
you will be eliminating all my favorite threads. & by “favorite” i mean the ones i want to read the most, that have the most meaning. that make the biggest difference. because really, we could live without polls of everyone’s favorite drinks, & hangman is pretty replaceable. but these discussions are different, they make me think, & they influence what i do in “real life”.
& you always explain the answers to my questions, even if i just didn’t get some stupid joke. that’s not as common as you would think – i know lots of people who often don’t answer my questions. it’s nice to know someone will just give me a straight answer when i want it.
i know how horrible it feels when you take the time to really think about what you want to say, & then it’s gone like you never wrote it. what i’ve started doing is whenever i type a long & thought out reply, i copy & paste it somewhere else temporarily before submitting it. then if it doesn’t get posted, i can reopen it & try to figure out what was wrong & fix it. of course, this doesn’t help this time, but neither does not posting anymore, so why not try it?
you may not realize it but you’re a really important part of the coffeeroom & it would be missing a lot if you didn’t post!!!!
April 17, 2009 5:20 am at 5:20 am #656612kapustaParticipantkapusta,
i hate to break it to you, but that’s not too comforting either. i didn’t doubt that it’s from hashem. and i definitely don’t doubt that i deserve it. but how did i get to deserve it? because i get bigger tests or have greater taavos.
so basically, hashem gives me a close to impossible test, waits for me to fail and then pays me back with suffering? gee that’s i great way to look at it. pure love or not, there’s no way i’m getting out of this alive. (or dead, for that matter.)
moish, 1. let me clarify something for you, Hashem doesn’t just decide one day, I dont like moish, I’m gonna give him impossible tests, which he wont pass, and then I get to give him impossible suffering. He gives you tests because for you to fulfill your tafkid in life, you need to go through certain things. say for a minute (just a minute) that one day you’ll end up working with teens at risk, do you think a guy whos one of the “tops” in lakewood could relate to any teen who has tempations when all he knows about is sitting in a bais medrash and going to the earliest minyan every day since he was 13?
2. did you ever hear of Imo Anochi btzarah (Hashem is with those who are suffering) Why would someone give someone suffering out of their “pleasure” and then say that?
I don’t know what your tafkid in life is, and I don’t think you do either, but this is supposed to mold you into the person that you are supposed to be, no one is doing this for fun.
I’ve read some of your other comments and I’m no baki at this, but you just sound plain depressed. I can tell you (from experience) that its possible to hit the lowest of the low emotionally. It gets better though.
Before you tell me how you don’t want to hear this now, and I know you dont, I would ask you how the modeh ani is going, but more than that, I’m gonna ask you to take on something extremely small, that isn’t indefinite (I’m not telling you to give up modeh ani,) try, even just for a week, to count sefira. I’ts not especially hard, and if davening is too much it could be your way of showing Hashem that you’re ready for a change and that something is not right in your life, and you need help. HATZLACHA RABBA!
sorry mod, writing it wasn’t easy either…
April 17, 2009 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #656613moish01Membergo back and read what i said again.
i never said hashem was watching football with a beer while i’m suffering.
and please don’t say “hashem only gives a test that you could handle.” i obviously CAN’T handle.
i’m drained of whatever i once had. end of story.
and i know i said i wan’t posting but i’m not exactly a guy with self control here
April 17, 2009 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #656614kapustaParticipantmoish, if that was meant for me, I have NO clue what you’re talking about. I never said G-d is watching football (or baseball) while you’re suffering.
One more thing, I do think you’ve been through a lot (not knowing where you’re coming from or where you are now) but you’re 16 which is the middle of the teenage years and probably the hardest, after 16 at least theres an end in sight. Remember one thing, if things are so bad now, it cant get too much worse.
btw, I’m happy you gave in and are continuing to post here!
April 17, 2009 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #656615moish01MemberThat was my way of saying that I never thought God enjoys giving me a hard time and just does it for the heck of it. (football and beer is my idea of entertainment ;))
Like I said, I’m sure I deserve what I’m getting (and probably way more) but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m stuck now. So I deserve it. Great. Now I’m gonna stay like this my whole life. How refreshing. (Gee at one point I may have to ask my parents to redecorate my room – it’s going to get to me eventually…)
And I’m really not posting anymore – you’re just tempting me.
April 17, 2009 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #656616an open bookParticipantkapusta: nice job 😉
April 17, 2009 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #656617moish01Memberhey whichever moderator put up my post not only edited it (sorry bout that) but he capitalized the first letter of each sentence. and my “i”s. just noticed that 😉
April 17, 2009 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #656618charlie brownMembermoish,
I’ve been out of the loop here for a while, but I just started reading some random posts here and there and saw your posts about retreating to your room and giving up on life. Moish, you need professional help now!!! Before you can even thing about improving in ruchniyus, you need to get into a healthy mental state and you seem to be getting into a severe depression. get out! Do ANYTHING! Volunteer for tomchei shabbos to help package the stuff they send out or go to the nursing home and make a bubby or zeidy smile. Get a job stocking the shelves of a grocery store. Do anything just to get some air and feel good about yourself for even a brief moment!
Oh, and I saw that post about your cousin! Send a hearty mazel tov please!
April 17, 2009 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #656619kapustaParticipantcharlie I’m with you,
moish are you good with your hands or something? maybe take up a hobby that you can get something out of? like build something (yes, I know, its random) I think too much unstructured time is one of your worst enemies right now. (that was said with the intent of helping.)
April 17, 2009 8:28 pm at 8:28 pm #656620JaxMembermoishL: glad to see your sorta back!
April 17, 2009 8:49 pm at 8:49 pm #656621an open bookParticipantmoish: & “G-d” too?
April 17, 2009 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #656622moish01MemberGod, it’s so hard to not post – every time I look at a thread I have fifty million comments.
I don’t know WHY I’m answering this one (maybe because I haven’t seen Charlie in forever) but I’ll tell you this much: there’s no way in the world you’re gonna find me stocking shelves or bagging groceries or any of those kinds of jobs. No way Jose. And I don’t need help from anyone. I’m just frustrated, that’s all.
And hobbies? I’ve got a few. Most of them are on my computer. (Except for reading. Or milkshakes – that I can’t get on here – I gotta go down 2 flights of stairs ;))
Now you think I could manage not posting?? Man, I really tried. (That goes to show how little self control I really have- I can’t even stop this.)
April 17, 2009 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #656623an open bookParticipanti’m not sure what charlie & kapusta are trying to do, but instead of bagging groceries (yeah, that wouldn’t really be a possibility for me either), doesn’t even have to be an official program, just try to help people out if see someone who could use some help, if somebody needs volunteers to do something, go for it, even if it’s a one-time thing. it feels good to know that you did something worthwhile & productive that day.
April 17, 2009 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #656624miamimiamiMemberThink about this……Rabbi Avigdor Miller writes in his commentary on the siddur, that G-d is “listening intensively” to what you are saying. Nuff said.
April 19, 2009 4:02 am at 4:02 am #656625kapustaParticipantmoish, I wasn’t really talking about the job part, I was talking about doing something. And, a very good anti-depressant is a vacation. Come to think of it I could use one myself, I didn’t have a very good day…
April 19, 2009 4:17 am at 4:17 am #656626JaxMemberkapusta: you kinda sound sad yourself! wanna talk about it?
April 19, 2009 4:25 am at 4:25 am #656628moish01Memberyou meant to say “a vacation is a very good anti-depressant.”
i think i’m ok, though. thanks anyway.
April 19, 2009 4:27 am at 4:27 am #656629kapustaParticipantJax, thanks for asking. In a nutshell, I was up most of last night, (for some reason I couldn’t sleep) and I started thinking about my life (which I generally try to avoid thinking too much about, great way to get depressed) and then today was my grandmothers yartzeit, and I heard after shabbos, someone who was sick for a little while was nifter.
April 19, 2009 4:34 am at 4:34 am #656630kapustaParticipantmoish, yeah whatever… funny you say you’re ok now, I guess it’s better than fighting with me now.
April 19, 2009 4:36 am at 4:36 am #656631JaxMemberkapusta: oh wow that seems rough! yeah don’t think about my life is my motto, i like it all just falling in place!
April 19, 2009 4:36 am at 4:36 am #656632moish01Member😉 i’m no idiot. i’m not about to argue with someone who’s in a real horrific mood…
April 19, 2009 4:39 am at 4:39 am #656633an open bookParticipantnice 😉
April 19, 2009 4:39 am at 4:39 am #656634kapustaParticipantsometimes I wonder about that, 😉 I’m not in a horrific mood, I’m just a little sad and a little depressed…
April 19, 2009 4:46 am at 4:46 am #656635moish01Memberkapusta, just because i’m an idiot, doesn’t make me an idiot… 😉
April 19, 2009 4:53 am at 4:53 am #656636 -
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