Home › Forums › Bais Medrash › Tips For Better Davening
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March 13, 2009 6:13 am at 6:13 am #656525kapustaParticipant
well I never knew you left on your own btw what was that lazy comment referring to? 🙂
March 13, 2009 6:15 am at 6:15 am #656526moish01Memberyou know how it sometimes says that it became a new page but when you click on it, it’s really the page before and all you see is room to write a new message?
March 13, 2009 7:42 am at 7:42 am #656527kapustaParticipantyeah… (was that for me?) 🙂
March 26, 2009 1:33 am at 1:33 am #656528goody613Memberjust saw this- it says that after the beis hamikdash was destroyed the gates of tefillah were closed So why daven? the satmer rebbe answers the gates of tears r never closed so if u ry then your tefillos r answered. but not everyone can get so emotional and cry? The word bechi(cry-BEIS CHOF YuD) =32 gematria lev soif u daven from your heart its as if you cried and your tefillos will be answered
March 26, 2009 1:57 am at 1:57 am #656529moish01Memberah! exactly what i’ve been saying forever. if you follow that logic then davening from the heart gets through the gates and is worth a whole lot. and davening without? does not equal the gematria of bechi and does not get through the gates. in other words: it’s worthless unless you either cry or at least daven from your heart. davening out of rote means nothing – not to you and not to god.
March 26, 2009 2:53 am at 2:53 am #656530kapustaParticipantgoody very nice I’m happy you brought up this thread because I’ve been meaning to post for a while something thats important to remember when davening. dont have the exact same kavanos every day by the same parts of davening. it can be considered adding on to davening. skip once a week (not davening, specific bakashos)
🙂
March 26, 2009 8:22 am at 8:22 am #656532moish01Memberkapusta, that’s a real halacha or did you make it up? i never heard of that.
March 26, 2009 10:02 am at 10:02 am #656533kapustaParticipantreal halacha, as creative as I am I dont make up things like this… and why do you doubt me? 🙂
March 26, 2009 11:59 am at 11:59 am #656534an open bookParticipantnothing to do with you, but it sounds like a rumor – it’s the type of thing i’d double check before i decide to do it.
March 26, 2009 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm #656535areivimzehlazehParticipant>> moish01
Member
ah! exactly what i’ve been saying forever. if you follow that logic then davening from the heart gets through the gates and is worth a whole lot. and davening without? does not equal the gematria of bechi and does not get through the gates. in other words: it’s worthless unless you either cry or at least daven from your heart. davening out of rote means nothing – not to you and not to god. <<
moish- you missed the point. The reason we keep saying to daven, even without kavana, is so that you get USED to davening daily and only then can you begin concentrating, having kavana, saying it from the heart. Then it is truly called davening and is worth something. You can’t just one day decide I am now going to daven every day, three times a day and I’m going to concentrate on every t’filla. IMPOSSIBLE. We need to do things step by step. So- first just get used to davening. Then take ONE PART of a t’fillah and work on having kavanah there and only there. It’s a real avoida- hopefully we will all get to “avoida sh’balev” (rashi)
March 26, 2009 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #656536moish01Memberi hear. so even if it’s “counted” for the effort, my tfillos aren’t being heard?
March 26, 2009 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm #656537areivimzehlazehParticipantThat’s not for us to say. The effort itself may be considered putting heart into it
March 26, 2009 9:29 pm at 9:29 pm #656539kapustaParticipantareivim, NO tefilla is ever wasted 🙂
March 26, 2009 9:29 pm at 9:29 pm #656540moish01Memberareivim, you really try to flower it up, don’t you??
March 26, 2009 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #656541areivimzehlazehParticipantprecisely
March 26, 2009 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #656542kapustaParticipantfor all you non-believers I just went through lots of emails to find this in an old daily halacha…
282. One should not add the same request to every Sh’mona Esrei on a constant basis because this appears as if he is adding to the nusach ha’tefillah established by Chazal. Rather one should skip the request, or daven for a different person, at least once a week.
Taz 122:2, Shulchan Hatohor 116:3
btw, that was from Feb 11, 2008
🙂
March 27, 2009 3:07 am at 3:07 am #656544joyousMembermoish- you might not be doing too well on the davening front but someone is definitely praying on your behalf! All these ppl in the CR keep thinking up new ideas to help you. Just think, if there was no CR you wouldn’t have all these ppl caring abt you.
March 27, 2009 3:08 am at 3:08 am #656545torahtzivaMemberkapusta: what does “non-believers” mean?
March 27, 2009 5:57 am at 5:57 am #656546moish01Memberha joyous, probably my mother 😉
March 27, 2009 7:14 am at 7:14 am #656547kapustaParticipantjoyous that would be people who didnt believe it was real 🙂
March 27, 2009 12:07 pm at 12:07 pm #656548an open bookParticipantkapusta: that was torahtziva who asked 🙂
March 27, 2009 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #656549kapustaParticipantoh I didnt see that on the main page the last update was probably from joyous and it just didnt say torahtziva so I thought it was joyous without looking! sorry! 🙂
March 27, 2009 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #656550goody613Membersorry i forgot something he said when u daven from your heart (or w/ tears) the ones w/o tears thats waiting outside teh gates come in with it
March 27, 2009 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #656551anonymisssParticipantyeah, goody, that sounds like something i once heard.
~a~
March 29, 2009 2:26 am at 2:26 am #656553moish01Membergoody, now you pipe up?
March 29, 2009 2:42 am at 2:42 am #656554anonymisssParticipantmoish, did you like what goody said?
~a~
March 29, 2009 2:59 am at 2:59 am #656555moish01Memberi’m deciding 😉
March 29, 2009 3:22 am at 3:22 am #656556anonymisssParticipantand the final decision is….?
~a~
March 29, 2009 5:59 am at 5:59 am #656557kapustaParticipantwhats wrong with it? 🙂
March 29, 2009 6:02 am at 6:02 am #656558moish01Membernothing, kapusta. i just don’t want anything to be held against me.
March 29, 2009 6:06 am at 6:06 am #656559kapustaParticipantnothing is being held against you. I just cant imagine what would be wrong with it, could you help me out here? 🙂
March 29, 2009 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #656560goody613MemberSorry Moish ;0)
March 29, 2009 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #656561moish01Memberit’s ok. just never thought i’d hear what someone named “goody613” had to say, that’s all 😉
March 30, 2009 1:45 am at 1:45 am #656562torahtzivaMembergoody613: Thanx for all that mussar. You taught me how to daven like a mentch and not like a bentch.
March 30, 2009 1:50 am at 1:50 am #656563an open bookParticipanta bentch? did you mean a bench??
March 30, 2009 2:16 am at 2:16 am #656564kapustaParticipantthis may have been said already, and this is not really for the davening part but more for a hakaras hatov factor, but I heard once to have in mind three things you’re thankful for in modim.
March 30, 2009 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #656565areivimzehlazehParticipantgoody- did you hold back the punchline on purpose 😉
you really know how to drum up some controversy 😉
March 30, 2009 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm #656566moish01Memberthat’s only funny when someone else gets to be the punching bag. it’s always me around here – i should shut up more.
March 30, 2009 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #656567areivimzehlazehParticipantoh please- punching bag my foot. Take it like a man 😉
March 30, 2009 10:19 pm at 10:19 pm #656570moish01Memberdo i really seem like such a “man?”
cool.
March 31, 2009 1:02 am at 1:02 am #656571goody613Memberhey gimme a break i wrote it from memory 🙂
April 2, 2009 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm #65657222OldGoldParticipantMy friend said that Pathway to Heaven or Prayer was really inspiring. It might help (for Shmoneh Esrai) to picture standing in front of a King and that you can’t get anything without his permission. I also have more Kavaneh on the Bakashas HaYachid since it’s more personal. Think of the meaning of the words and apply them to yourself.
April 7, 2009 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #656574moish01Memberok, i’m being 100% honest now (as always) when i say that i need chizuk. i want to daven so badly, i just can’t. or maybe i won’t? i’m not sure. it’s just that things have been really hard the last few weeks and i feel like a piece of chametz.
i know this probably doesn’t even belong on this forum and i should find some teen-site but i’m not. i don’t know what do do anymore and it’s not the kind of thing i could talk about to anyone.
and then they say i’m the bad guy. i’m the one who’s suffering because of it all – not them. i doubt they’ve improved since i stopped hanging out with them every night.
April 7, 2009 11:42 pm at 11:42 pm #656575moish01Membermod, what in BLAZES is “a piece of CHAMETZ??”
i did NOT write that and i though i wrote it really nicely and very appropriately. i can never win.
Just having fun… – YW Moderator-42
April 8, 2009 12:20 am at 12:20 am #656576an open bookParticipantmoish: just so you know, you’re not being ignored. i’m just not sure what to say, so i’m waiting to see what kapusta or areivim write first
mod 42: hey that was mean! put words in his mouth…?
I just changed one appropriate word to another after he congratulated himself on using an appropriate word. Anyway, there is a mitzvah of to eat chametz today so I put the word “chametz” in his mouth!!!
April 8, 2009 12:35 am at 12:35 am #656577an open bookParticipantvery funny, 42
April 8, 2009 1:12 am at 1:12 am #656578hi100Membermoissh-my heart goes out to you….
April 8, 2009 1:22 am at 1:22 am #656579moish01MemberAOB, you should only know HOW funny. (watch him change that to “humorous” or “amusing” or the like)
who on earth uses the word “blazes??”
and just as a side point, is it really a mitzva to eat chomeitz today?
April 8, 2009 1:24 am at 1:24 am #656580anonymisssParticipantok, i’m being 100% honest now (as always) when i say that i need chizuk. i want to daven so badly, i just can’t. or maybe i won’t? i’m not sure. it’s just that things have been really hard the last few weeks and i feel like a piece of chametz.
moish, congratulations! You’ve already taken the first step toward your goal. You want to daven. Your desire to daven is what’s going to help you actually do it.
It’s possible that when you say the words in the siddur, although I know that you do understand what you’re saying, it isn’t meaningful to you. moish, you can talk to god anytime of day or night. He always wants to hear from you, no matter what you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be words from a siddur, it doesn’t have to be regarding something catastrophic. If it has to do with you, I give you my word, He wants to hear about it. Even if it’s, “Hashem, I can’t find my cell phone, could You help me find it?” or, “Hashem, I hate when my mother….” anything, anything, anything goes. He wants to have a relationship with you and relationships do begin with regular communication, even about the most mundane things. (disclaimer: Males are required to pray with a quorum of ten men three times a day.)
When anshei knesses hagedolah made up the tefillos they had you in mind, you and every single struggle and challenge that you’ve ever been through or will ever go through. You were taken into consideration and therefore all of davening is yours. There is no such thing as “it doesn’t apply to me.” It was made up for you!
and then they say i’m the bad guy. i’m the one who’s suffering because of it all – not them. i doubt they’ve improved since i stopped hanging out with them every night.
One man cannot change the whole world, but one man’s change can change the whole world. Improving your friends is not your goal right now. You need to worry about your own self.
I do think, though, that friends are very, very important. I really hope you haven’t become totally antisocial.
I was really very touched by your post, moish. I pray that you will be successful with this and with everything in your life.
~a~
April 8, 2009 4:15 am at 4:15 am #656581kapustaParticipantAOB, is that like an elders first thing?
moish, I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I’ll tell you this. I have what to daven for (trust me on this one) and sometimes I can’t sometimes I would love to daven with real tears because something is bothering me so much and I just can’t which of course makes it worse. I want you to know, you are not the bad guy, (as in NOT the bad guy) to get very frank, I think you care a tremendous amount and there is something bothering you (more than guilt, maybe it’s just the honesty thing) when you want to do something. I want to make two comments.
1. Tonight, everyone was a little out of it, like erev pesach type. If you read the middah thread, you’ll know I can, at times, be a little lazy. I did things, several times, that normally would have taken me time to get to do, because I wouldn’t put my mind to it. Last night, when you wrote that you didn’t go out, when you wanted to, and it was hard. I told myself that you overcame something like that which was really hard, and I can’t overcome something simple like laziness? not happening. Much as you don’t want to admit it, because of you, I overcame something and its going on your cheshbon.
2. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I, (nor areivim, or anyone else) can say this enough. Hashem loves you more than anything in the world. I just heard one of “the shmuz” (and mind you I don’t mind listening to these things, but I don’t do it too often. It was #105 if anyone would like to hear it, since it’s probably available online) Basically it said, that Hashem, out of infinite kindness, will make a person suffer (maybe this is not the “classic” suffering but it is nonetheless.) He gives a person everything, and realizes that something needs fixing so He “waits” for the person to do something wrong, to give him something, because at least then there would be a reason for yissurim. Hashem does it out of pure love for the person, not because He’s trying to get back at anyone.
Remember by yetzias metzrayim, the people who did teshuva were saved, and so were the people who wanted to but didn’t know how. I dont know if you did the first category, but from what I know you fit very well into the second. Remember that Hashem wants you as close to Him as possible.
Forget about your friends, if anything, they’re a stepping stone for you, because you were with them, and you realized where you were, and now you regret it. Thats the first step, and thats the hardest one.
something tells me this was not the chizuk you were looking for, if theres anything else I can help you with, feel free to ask away. Hatzlacha! 🙂
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