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My 3 year old nephew once went to the barbershop. The barber was an old italian guy. My nephew looks at the barber and says, “You’re an old man” !! LOL, it was ssoooo funny !!!
My 5 year old daughter always loves to share her “song of the week” with me, usually having to do with the parsha or upcoming Yom Tov. A few months ago, about a week after Chanukah she came home crying. I asked her why she was crying. She told me that she cannot share her “song of the week” with me that week because it’s assur to say Mommy’s name, and the song was about me (Mommy). I told her that the song was most likely about Sarah Imeinu, and not about me, and that she should go ahead and sing it to me. She brightened, and having received my permission to sing a song with “my” name in it proceeded to sing all about “Asara B’Teves”!!!!!
This did not happen to me, but the story is so classic, I felt it imperative to share with those of us that did not read or hear it yet. Its a phone exchange between a grandchild and the Babby:
GC: Babby, I can’t wait till you visit us again!
Babby: Why is that,zeeskeit?
GC: Because Tatty said he’ll show us a new trick!
Babby: Oh, really? What kind of trick?
GC: I’m not sure, but all he said was, “if Babby comes to stay with us again. I’ll flip!”
Totty, that was very good! (please don’t start a whole shpiel how BP Totty is d a’s Totty!)
I’m more concerned that my Shvigger figure out who BP totty is! (Uh oh, here comes a barrage of nasty e-mails from all the shivggers in the CR)
I walked past my 4/5 yr old neighbor and he waved and said, “I know you! You’re <mrs. kapustas> son! (ftr, I’m a daughter as opposed to a son :))
(english is not his first language)
i was watching my little 5 year old brother and i did something he didn’t like so he says to me thats unacceptable go to your room!
My five year old niece was eating ice cream and her two year old sister wanted some. The five year old said, “Don’t look into my bowl”, to which the two year old responded by standing on her tip-toes, peering into the bowl, and saying “I’m not looking, I’m just seeing it”.
My 4 year old asked me if you become Tamei from touching shabbos shoes
My daughter-in-law was watching my daughter’s kids for a few days. The last night was Thursday and she really wanted to get them to sleep so she could concentrate on Shabbos preparations. She stuck her head into the bedroom and told my five year old granddaughter to stop talking and go to sleep at which point she responded “I’m going to tell my Mommy that you are not being very nice to me!”.
one of my aunts was ones driving somepalace with her 6 year old daughter in the car with her. she started pulling out of her parking space while the electric door was still in the middle of closing.her doughter noticed this and said to her mother “ma, if u ever do that again im ganna tell bubby on u!!
A friend told me that she heard her one child tell another child that the bracha you say after the bathroom is Borei Nefashos. She told her that you say Asher Yatzar, not Borei Nefashos after the bathroom, to which the child replied, “Yes, but I don’t know Asher Yatzar, so I’m saying Borei Nefashos!”
A frined told me that her son asked her, “Ma, open your mouth as big as you can…” after she did she asked him why he wanted her to do this. He said. ” I just wanted to see how its possible that a baby can fit out of there!”
A Friend of mine told me this story, her 2 yr old niece had just moved back from israel. One of the only Hebrew terms she picked up was Dye ( meaning enough/ stop ). One day a cousin of hers was annoying her so she told her cousin- dye, dye, her cousin burst into tears and told her mother- she told me to die!!
My Israeli cousins came in to NY and we were in a grocery store. I noticed a name of a nosh was called “adashim”. So i told my cousin (probably 4 then), “Hey look this has a hebrew word-“adashim”! She looks at me and says in her accent, “Zeh loh adashim, zeh Adasheeem (in a strong israeli accent- emphasizing the end of the word). It was too funny!
Me and Mrs BP were still in the mountains this past shabbos, and the boys were in the city (yeshiva scedule / our packup drive back scedule did not make it practial for them to come up this weekend).
So they had an “in Shabbos”. SOme of the food was pre-made, some was bought, some they made themselves.
When we got back to the city late Sunday afternoon, the kitchen was spotless and the dishes /pots washed and put away. Leftovers were stored in containers.
Stunned (and pleasanty surprised) to say the least!
Many years ago my family went to a museum and got a tour. After the tour, the guide asked if anyone had questions. My brother, who was about 5 at the time raised his hand and when he was called on he asked with a serious look on his face, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”.
My friends little 4 year old (or so) goes up to a old lady (a goy) with wrinkled face and white hair. Looks into her face and says “Are you dead?”.
Her mother had explained to her that when people get old they die.
The question should really be, “Why did the Chabadnik cross the road?”
And the answer is…
to put tefillin on the chicken.
My five-year old heard my newborn making some strange sounds and chuckled, saying “His battery died.”
As my grandson was reading Parshas Bereishis in the Little Medresh Says. We hear him say,
“and G line D said Let there be light!!!”
When my daughter was about 3 years old she woke me up about 4 o’clock in the morning. I asked her why she was up so early and she replied: “I ran out of sleep.” Nowadays, some 40 odd years later, I still use the line when I wake up at 4 AM – which is almost daily.
I saw this in a magazine once so you might know it but its adorable! A little girl notices her mother has a few white hairs so she asks her mother why she has them.
Her mother says, “everytime you do something wrong, or make me upset I get a white hair.” The girl thinks for a moment and then says, “How come ALL of Bubbys hair is white?”
I had something on the table which I didn’t wand my kids to touch. I left the room for a half a minute, I asked my 4 year old to watch that my 2 year old shouldn’t touch it, when I came back I saw my 4 year old playing with it and my 2 year old telling him DON’T TOUCH.
Says who
Incredible!
i teach first grade and the way we learn new words is i put the words on the board and then say a sentence and they have to put the correct word in the sentence. one of the words was “lemonade” the sentece was “my dad sips_______ from a glass” to which one of my boys called out “BEER!!!” i couldn’t stop laughing!!
My 2 year old granddaughter was taken to the park on Shabbos where she met a new playmate. They had fun going down the baby slide together, and finally when she wanted to go on to something new, my ainekel started to run to another ride. The little girl was sitting at the bottom of the slide and patted the place next to her, calling her to come back. So my granddaughter came running back, sat down daintily, cross her legs at the knee, folding her hands and said, “So what shall we talk about?” Every adult within hearing distance dropped his/her jaw.
If ever a girl was ready for the shidduch market….!
I saw sign in BP store this morning (10/15/10):
‘Small amount of worm infestation in flour. Must be sifted in 50+ mesh. Due to recent worm weather”.
when i was a kid and impatient about something my older sister told me “hold your horses” my response “my horses are held”
i was reading my little sister a book, who was at the time 2 1/2 and i wasn’t reading that fast, there weren’t that many pictures. after a few minutes she burst out “im losing my patience”
a different sibling was finishing off this 2 1/2 yr old’s breakfast. when she saw this, she burst out “im gona bless you”
“If ever a girl was ready for the shidduch market….! “
You don’t know the HALF of it!!!!!!!!!!
Pointing to her foot, my two-year old told me she got a boo-boo.
I asked, “On your foot?”
“No, on my sock.”
When I was a kid, a neigbor was by my house, and I said to her, “If you touch those flowers, my Totty will give you a potch potch on your henty”.
We have to be so-o-o-o-o-o-o careful what we say in front of children. I have a severe knee problem, so I often kvetch when I stand up or sit down. My granddaughter takes this all in and one day when she sat down she said, “OYYYYY,” so I asked her what was wrong. She replied, “My knee hurts me like yours, Bubby.”
My brother spoke to our 2 and 1/2 year old niece and asked her if she wants him to come over for Shabbos, her response: “no, you’ll get sick of me!” lol.
this shabbos i was by my brother and my nephew was telling him about the parsha. he was saying how avraham was trying to get lot back from the kings. he said “they took sand and threw it and it turned into knives, arrows and spare ribs!” he said it so seriously that we could not stop laughing!!!
My little sister wanted a drink and insisted that only my mother give it to her. In exasperation my mother said, “Do you think it is a mitzva for me to always give you whatever you want when there are plenty of other ppl around to help you?!” My other sister (who was then about 6)piped up, “No- it’s a minhag!”.
My two year old cousin had a “precious” book of hers that depicted all types of animals. Since this book was so precious to her she read it over and over again until she knew the names of all the anials and how they look.
One day my aunt was leaving a store with this child and an african amerian was kind enough to hold the door open for them. My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.
LOL!
My little cousin cheerfully waved goodbye to this man and then (loudly!) called, ” Bye-bye gorilla!”.
OY VAVOY!!!!!! How politically incorrect of her!
i help a certain family in e”Y on thursdays, i’ve been with them for over two years.
the oldest daughter is dying for me to get married already (she’s 10) so she can go to the wedding, preferrably as a bridesmaid. she keeps asking me i’m getting married here or in america.
so once i said, what if i get married in america? she said she’ll come anyway, so i told her that tickets are really expensive. so she said she’ll take a boat instead, to which i replied that boats are just as expensive and totally not worth it. so she said she’ll walk and i said, you can’t walk over an ocean, she canged that to swimming, and i asked her if she wouldn’t get tired. so she said
‘so i’ll walk the other way around the world!!”
(ps. when i told her that there was a bigger ocean the other way around, she said – fine, i’ll build a bridge, and don’t you get married within the year cuz that’s how long it’s gonna take me!)
That reminds me:
When my oldest was about 4, she used to label people as vanilla, strawberry, or chocolate. (There were 2 chocolate categories: milchig and pareve.)
tomim tihye-
What did the milchig ppl look like?
I was asked to sub a kindergarten class and had about one minute to prepare.
Getting up in front of all these 4 and 5 year olds I asked who knew what was special about that day.
One kid raised his hand and said it was Rosh Chodesh. I was very impressed and asked how he knew. “My Tatty went to shul this morning!”
Then I explained how they could tell it’s Rosh Chodesh by seeing that there’s no moon in the sky…
Next Question: Why was it important to know when Rosh Chodesh was? (I was hoping someone would answer that since I didn’t know what to tell them.)
One kid raised his hand and said, “So that my Mommy will know if she has to put a white shirt on me.”
I had lots of fun that day, but I can’t imagine doing it full time.
Why not doc?
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