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I’m really nervous I have been suggested a great shidduch and the otherside is taking ages to get back to us whether they want to go ahead with it or not. Im also really nervous cause if both decide to go ahead with it it will be my first date ever. I have bitochon that it wil turn out for the best but I’m afraid and really nervous!!! What do I wear to make a first good impression ??? How do I make my date feel comfortable? How do you keep yourself from not being stiff and relax and be the best person of who you are??? If anyone could advise that would be great!
Thanks in advance!
Don’t worry so much!! A long time is all relative. to everybody its different they r probably “check u and ur family out” which is not so easy in the summer w people away…
When u meet just be urself doesn’t make sense to put on a show cuz u wouldn’t want other side to either u want to get to know each other to see if ur compatible
Moshiach please come:
According to the timestamp on your post (OP), you posted somewhere between when it was 7:20 and 8:20 AM in New York on Shabbos morning. So I am wondering where in the world you were when it wasn’t Shabbos at that time? (China?)
Good point. It seems your post was around 8:30am NY time. Maybe the other side is taking so long because they are trying to determine whether you keep half-Shabbos or three-quarters-Shabbos.
Just kidding. The real reason they are taking so long is because it takes a long time to get to Australia.
Let me guess, you come from a place that has a Chabad.
YW Moderator-42 can see which country your IP address is from, so I’m not sure how he could be mistaken about Australia. Additionally, considering that the time you made your post was Shabbos in most of the world, including America, Europe, and Israel, there really isn’t that many places left. Hong Kong?
Correct, New South Wales, Australia. These things could be a bit off but I think the state/province is usually correct. Perhaps you are in New Zealand. Or some Island in the middle of some ocean near Australia. My next guess for why it is taking so long is that they are trying to determine whether or not you are a kangaroo
you just gotta chil out and know that ein oid milvado; what looks like a great shidduch may not be the right one, or vica versa. point being worrying’s not gonna help because its b’yad Hashem. if you take that to heart itll be way easier
Interestingly, for “Location” you wrote “USA” you say you keep Shabbos so I guess you are not referring to the “United States of America”. Perhaps USA stands for “United Sailboats of Australia” or you are in some US territory Down Under.
there is a city in japan called Usa. alot of stuff is made there cuz you can print made in usa and people think you mean america. maybe he’s in japan
Maybe he’s in Hawaii on the other side of the Date Line.
Or maybe we’ve finally caught Joseph posting on Shabbos.
Mpc for president
I think it was still Shabbos in Kenya when he posted.
Yes, the IP is Australia as I posted above.
The Marshall Islands is a US Trust Territory not far from Australia.
Are you kidding about girls being so nervous the first time i went out on a date i was so nervous i went down an entire size in my clothe from thursday night ,when we gave the go ahead until sunday when I went out. I was so nervous it was crazy. anyways ya, why cant a guy be nervous he is the one who has to start off. hatzlacha rabba everything should work out the way it is supposed to.
ya for all the unfairness in shidduchim boys are the ones who need to do all the work for the date and they have to spend oodles of cash
It’s totally normal to be nervous and excited. People like to talk about themselves, so if you are genuinely interested in her and ask some questions about her interests it will give you a chance to get to know her and will make her feel good about herself. Focus on trying to make the evening pleasant for her. You’ll get your mind off yourself and you’ll probably both have a better time. Try to think about what you have in common. Shared interests make for lively conversation. Also, keep it light! Don’t get into deep heavy topics, like your childhood phobias and all the hurts you’ve been through. As far as clothing goes, it depends on what’s commonly done where you live and in your crowd. Some wear suits, some a dress shirt and slacks, others more casual. It depends how yeshivish you both are and where you’re going.
Mod42 – “Interestingly, for “Location” you wrote “USA”
If he is Chabad, then he could be from the USA but on shlichus somewhere else for a year or two.
MPC- it’s normal to be nervous – for both girls and boys. don’t think the girls have less to be nervous about. as far as how you should dress – make sure you look neat, clean, and presentable. be polite. it’s sometimes hard to make conversation and yes those silent moments can feel awkward. but remember two things 1) she’s also feeling pressured to say something 2) almost everyone (if not everyone) goes through that experience.
try to prepare some topics to speak about before the date. keep them in mind for such moments. but anyway on a first date you’re usually trying to find out about each other so there are lots of questions and topics – what you do, how many siblings, what schools, what do you like to do etc etc.
Hatzlacha Rabba – keep us posted
btw – as far as girls not having as much to worry about – i guess you really don’t know much about girls. they have more to worry about – what to wear, how does my hair/make-up/everything else look? am i skinny/pretty/etc enough? girls worry because there are so many more girls out there than boys and also boys can be quite picky with looks. yes it is petty but that’s the reality.
as far as what you should wear – how about go all out and wear black pants and a white shirt? oh yeah – the black hat too.
mpc – any news yet?
just out of curiousity, if someone is foolish enough to post over Shabbos does that poster get black listed?
I know people who have Facebook and said their name has been listed to liking a product during Shabbos time. I believe it has to do with the product posting the ”likes” rather than when the poster posted it.
if he has been posting on Shabbos (meaning it was shab where he was) I am sure the mods would block him. Unless he’s Joe but i dont think so!
there is stuff gets posted from facebook on shabbos and yom tov…i think it’s spam or maybe the computer is just slow and cathes up with the backlog on the weekend?
If I was in shidduchim, I would be nervous. People are already accusing some faceless, anonymous blogger of being mechalel shabbos and it isn’t for the purposes of shidduchim. Who knows what gets said about you, behind your back, the accusations and innuendo, when it comes to shidduchim. Maybe it is taking a long time because theyare trying to sort fact from fiction. On meeting the other person, be yourself. You don’t want to “act” any other way. It might be awakward at first, you grew up being separated from the opposite gender and are suddenly thrust into a situation where you are being asked to spend some time (an evening?) alone conversing with this person.
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