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January 26, 2011 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #594511eclipseMember
They say it’s not easy to take care of children and ALSO care for dependent elderly parents.
It probably feels like you’re being pulled in ten different directions at once.
But I just want to put it in perspective.
You still have someone to share the nachas with.
Your kids see kibud av va’aym in practice,not just in theory.
You are repaying them for the years they cared for you.
You have someone STILL ALIVE who (hopefully) loves you very much.
For every ounce of “suffering” you get s’char.(example,the person is critical,stubborn,needy,doesn’t even remember you anymore,etc.)
January 26, 2011 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #732305SapphireMemberThis is very true, though not to take away from difficulty of what those in such circumstances may deal with…
As a child of parents in the “sandwich generation”, I observed my parents in such situations which only increased my respect and admiration for them. The strength and calmness with which they dealt with everything that came up, when both their parents and children/grandchildren required their attention…How they would give and give, and I know it could not have been easy.
January 26, 2011 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #732306Derech HaMelechMemberNot knowing that there was something specific called ‘the sandwich generation’ I thought this thread was going to be about something else entirely.
January 26, 2011 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm #732307doodle jumpParticipantYou are so very lucky. I an not undermining all the work that goes into it but you get to have your parents around you. My parents live out of town. I don’t see them very often, once a year. I would love for my kids to see kibbud Av V’aim first hand on an ongoing basis.
January 26, 2011 10:40 pm at 10:40 pm #732308eclipseMemberpeanut butter and jelly?
January 26, 2011 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #732309eclipseMemberMy mother passed away young,and my father lives overseas,often unwell.
Bottom Line: You get closer to Hashem,but I think my kids lives would be so much “richer” with grandparents.
January 26, 2011 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #732310doodle jumpParticipanteclipse, I agree with you. Grandparents are such a gift.
January 26, 2011 11:16 pm at 11:16 pm #732311SapphireMemberYes, grandparents are a gift. I see how different it is between those, even in my (extended) family, who were/are privileged to live near the grandparents, and those who were/are not. I also feel that they are a connection to a different world…one that seems to be slipping away.
January 26, 2011 11:34 pm at 11:34 pm #732312doodle jumpParticipantI know what you mean. It is such a shame. I wish that my children had their grandparents around.
January 27, 2011 12:53 am at 12:53 am #732313chayav inish livisumayParticipanti totally agree. My grandparents built an apartment onto their house for my great grandmother and i think all the gran/great grandchildren learned a tremendous amount from the way my grandparents did it. Imagine when you are 85 you’ll want your kids to do the same for you, so it may be hard but you should really do it
January 27, 2011 12:53 am at 12:53 am #732314chayav inish livisumayParticipantim not sure what this has to do with the sandwich generation i think it was the same in the “alter heim”
January 27, 2011 1:17 am at 1:17 am #732315mchemtobMemberMrs. Swerdlov (today) finished up a 4 part series at Shalhevet oday about the same topic and Atara Malach also gives a workshop on the Sandwich generation. It can be sticky sometimes taking care of yourself, your parents, your children at home, and trying to be there for your marrieds and their kids. I for one am happy people are addressing the situation and giving us tools on how to cope better.
January 27, 2011 2:27 am at 2:27 am #732316eclipseMemberNovick in Jewish Press writes on the subject,too.
Since it applies somewhat to anyone taking care of anyone,I read it once in awhile.When you seek apts./work,gotta have it in the house sometimes.(Yes,apologetic,’cause not totally family-appropriate reading)
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