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A man is walking thorough the forest, when he comes upon a lion, camel and bear. He has a gun with only one bullet. What should he do?
Chaim and Dovid are walking through the desert and Chaim finds one cigarette on the ground. Who should get the cigarette?
Dovid, because he’d walk a mile for a “C h A i M ” e L.”
A man is walking thorough the forest, when he comes upon a lion, camel and bear. He has a gun with only one bullet. What should he do?
Shoot the bear, because there are no lions or camels in a forest, so clearly THEY are a mirage.
Bark Obama – vocabulary of Bo, the First Dog.
Here are the answers…
A man is walking thorough the forest, when he comes upon a lion, camel and bear. He has a gun with only one bullet. What should he do?
—Shoot the lion, drink the beer and smoke the Camel!!!
(oomis, you hit on the answer by “C h A i M ” e L.”!)
Chaim and Dovid are walking through the desert and Chaim finds one cigarette on the ground. Who should get the cigarette?
—Chaim must give the cigarette to Dovid because the Halacha is V’Chai Bahem!!!
To my surprise he showed me three additional places as well.
The only one that comes to mind off the top of my head is “????-??????? ?????? ???????”
The Wolf
What is the area bounded by the x-axis and y = 1/(1 + x^2) (from negative infinity to positive infinity)?
I have a headache, so I may not be thinking too clearly, but isn’t that a straight line along the y-axis?
Oy Vey, you must have a bad headache. A straight line along the y-axis is denoted by x = 0.
y = 1/(1 + x^2) is a function of x so it can not possibly be a vertical line!
The graph resembles the Bell Curve, but the area between the bell curve and the x-axis is 1.
Hope you feel better soon.
goody613-
I think we all give up. Which posuk?
Dr. Pepper-
Laining is a talent. It’s a shame if someone who’s good at it gives it up.
I must be missing and/or misunderstanding something re: y = 1/(1 + x^2)
When x=-1, y=.5
When x=0, y=1
When x=1, y=.5
Isn’t the area in the two above boxes alone greater than 1 full box?
The exact area is PI.
I posted this question in anticipation of today, Nerd Appreciation Day.
If I remember correctly the techniques used to calculate the area are from Calculus II.
The anti-derivative of f(x) = 1/(1 + x^2) is F(x) = tan^-1 (x).
Evaluated at the limit of x as x gets closer to infinity is (PI/2), evaluated at x as x gets closer to negative infinity is (-PI/2), (PI/2) – (-PI/2) = PI.
QED
Q. What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
how much longer do we have to wait for the answer?
a chair, a bed, and a toothbrush
Or a simpler answer: A toothbrush
You can put it on your chair or bed and sit on it and sleep on it, and of course brush your teeth with it.
Or a hairbrush or any other kind of brush. You can do the same three things with it, if you want to.
your hands
The Wally Test
1. Write your name in the square provided.
2. Take two apples from five apples. How many do you have?
3. Do they have a Fourth of July in England?
4. If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, a
newspaper, and some kindling wood, what would you light first?
5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left?
6. How many animals of each species did Moses take into the Ark?
7. A plane full of English tourists flies from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France.
Where should the survivors be buried?
8. If a redhouse is made of red wood and a whitehouse is made of white wood, what
is a greenhouse made of?
9. If Mr. Jones’ peacock laid an egg in Mr. Brown=s garden, who is the rightful
owner of the egg?
10. Mrs. Taylor’s bungalow is decorated entirely in pink. Her lamps, wall, carpets,
and ceilings are all pink. What color are her stairs?
11. If you drive a bus with 42 people on board from Boston to Washington, D.C.,
and drop off 3 people at each of six stops and pick up 4 people at half the stops,
when you arrive at Washington 10 hours later what is the driver’s name?
12. Write this down as one number: 15 thousand, 15 hundred and 15.
13. What do Kermit the frog and Attila the Hun have in common?
14. What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
15. How many times can you take 3 from 25?
The Wally Test
1. Write your name in the square provided. What square?
2. Take two apples from five apples. How many do you have? 2
3. Do they have a Fourth of July in England? Yes
4. If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, a
newspaper, and some kindling wood, what would you light first? the match
5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left? 9
6. How many animals of each species did Moses take into the Ark? None
7. A plane full of English tourists flies from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France.
Where should the survivors be buried? Nowhere, unless you’re really sadistic.
8. If a redhouse is made of red wood and a whitehouse is made of white wood, what
is a greenhouse made of? glass
9. If Mr. Jones’ peacock laid an egg in Mr. Brown=s garden, who is the rightful
owner of the egg? The National Enquirer! Peacock’s can’t lay eggs.
10. Mrs. Taylor’s bungalow is decorated entirely in pink. Her lamps, wall, carpets,
and ceilings are all pink. What color are her stairs? Depends on how you define bungalow. In some cities bungalows have stairs.
11. If you drive a bus with 42 people on board from Boston to Washington, D.C.,
and drop off 3 people at each of six stops and pick up 4 people at half the stops,
when you arrive at Washington 10 hours later what is the driver’s name? Don’t want to violate the anonymity of the CR. Sorry.
12. Write this down as one number: 15 thousand, 15 hundred and 15. 16,015
13. What do Kermit the frog and Attila the Hun have in common? Their middle name.
14. What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with? oomis said “hand” and that’s what I was thinking, too.
15. How many times can you take 3 from 25? I think this is a trick question and it’s after midnight and my brain has already shut down, but I’m going to say 1?
potpie, your Q# 14 makes more sense then Mod 80’s Q!
1. (no square provided)
2. 2
3. Yes, they just don’t celebrate it
4. The match
5. 9
6. None. Noah did.
7. You don’t bury survivors!
8. Glass
9. Peacocks don’t lay eggs
10. No stairs – it’s a bungalow!
11. (Fill in your name here)
12. Impossible? 16,515?
13. Their middle name
14. A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush
15. Once
Not sure if this one’s been posted yet.
A woman shoots her husband. She then holds him underwater for five minutes, and then hangs him. However, five minutes later, they go out for a nice dinner together.
How is this possible?
1. Write your name in the square provided. the your square name provided
2. Take two apples from five apples. How many do you have? None. They were baked in a pi to celebrate some silly day.
4. If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, a
5. A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left? Seventeen, of which nine were living.
6. How many animals of each species did Moses take into the Ark? None. But he had two Keruvim placed on the ark.
7. A plane full of English tourists flies from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France.
Where should the survivors be buried? Why not just ask them their preference?
8. If a redhouse is made of red wood and a whitehouse is made of white wood, what
is a greenhouse made of? Mouldy white wood.
owner of the egg? Believe it or not, the egg-laying female is called a Peahen.
10. Mrs. Taylor’s bungalow is decorated entirely in pink. Her lamps, wall, carpets,
and ceilings are all pink. What color are her stairs? What difference can it make to an obviously blind owner?
11. If you drive a bus with 42 people on board from Boston to Washington, D.C.,
and drop off 3 people at each of six stops and pick up 4 people at half the stops,
12. Write this down as one number: 15 thousand, 15 hundred and 15. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMDXV
15. How many times can you take 3 from 25? Until you get caught.
LAer-
Not sure if this one’s been posted yet.
A woman shoots her husband. She then holds him underwater for five minutes, and then hangs him. However, five minutes later, they go out for a nice dinner together.
How is this possible?
She’s a photographer, took his pic, developed it, and hung it up to dry.
#12 should be 16,515, I believe.
15 can only be once, because after you take 3 from 25, you now have 22.
ICOT: Great job!
icot, very punny. No, I didn’t make it up, someone sent it to me a long time ago.
Answers:
1. What square?
2. Two apples.
3. Yes.
4. The match.
5. Nine.
6. None. (It was Noah=s Ark)
7. Survivors are not buried.
8. Glass.
9. Peacocks do not lay eggs.
10. There are no stairs in a Bungalow.
11. Your name.
12. 16,515.
13. They have the same middle nameBThe
14. A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
15. Once. (After you take it away from 25 once, the next time you subtract it=s from 22)
Congratulations to everyone who guessed correctly!!!
LAer, she took a picture of her husband.
YW Moderator-77-
LAer-
Thank you.
Black and White
(a logic puzzle, cribbed from another site and slightly edited)
Three people, imaginatively named A, B and C, are contestants in a game.
The host has eight small stickers; four white and four black.
The three contestants are blindfolded.
The two remaining stickers are discarded.
The blindfolds are removed.
The contestants know that the total number of stickers attached to foreheads are either:
a) 4 black, 2 white.
b) 4 white, 2 black
c) 3 black, 3 white
Now the game begins.
The possible answers are:
a) Black, black
b) White, white
c) Mixed
If a contestant guesses correctly, he wins 400 dollars and the other two players win 300 each.
If a contestant guesses incorrectly, the game ends and they each get nothing. (This rule is to eliminate guessing, even when a contestant knows that the next player will guess correctly.)
2) Will the answer be a single color (either black or white) or “mixed” if the maximum number of turns is reached?
3) Why?
OY, have I got a headache from this!
2) Will the answer be a single color (either black or white) or “mixed” if the maximum number of turns is reached? Mixed
3) Why?
a) If B and C have four of the same color, A knows the answer immediately (one turn)
b) If A and C have four of the same color, B knows the answer immediately (two turns)
c) If A and B each have two of the same color, C knows that he (C) has a mix, since if he (C) also had solid colors A or B would have guessed the answer (three turns).
Gut Shabbos.
What Am I?
2) I lose a head in the morning, but I get it back at night.
Gut Shabbos.
2) a pillow
Captain Jack left on Sunday, came back on Sunday, but was gone for nine days. How did Captain Jack do it?
Answer: It’s a klutz kasha….His boat was named Sunday.
ICOT 1)a subpoena to appear in court???? or jury duty notice?
2) I concur with Potpie, a pillow.
What Am I – Solutions
2) I lose a head in the morning, but I get it back at night. A pillow. (potpie, oomis1105)
Sports Cliches (from a puzzle magazine)
1) W.N.Q. and Q.N.W.
2) D. wins C.
3) Take it O.G. at a T.
4) There’s N. “I” in T.
5) G. 110 P. out T.
6) It A.O.T. it’s O. *
7) P. wins G., T. win C.
8) W. isn’t E. – it’s the O.T.
9) There’s no G. without P.
10) Most B.G. are L., not W.
11) W. make G., L. make E.
12) N. say N.
13) Y.W.S. and Y.L.S.
14) C.K.V’S. **
*Grammatically incorrect, but quite well known.
**Chag Kasher VeSameach (yes, you’re right this one isn’t a sports cliche. glad to see someone’s paying attention ?)
you have two coins which equal up to 35 cents and one isnt a quarter!! what are the 2 coins?????????
abbaZ – a quarter and a dime. One isn’t a quarter – but the other one IS.
Sorry if this was posted already…
Give three places in the Torah where there are five words in a row, with each word containing only two letters.
1) W.N.Q. and Q.N.W. Winners never quit and quitters never win.
2) D. wins C. Defense wins championships.
3) Take it O.G. at a T. Take it one game at a time.
5) G. 110 P. out T. Give 110 percent out there.
7) P. wins G., T. win C. Players win games, teams win championships.
10) Most B.G. are L., not W. Most ball games are lost, not won.
11) W. make G., L. make E. Winners make goals, losers make excuses.
12) N. say N. Never say never.
13) Y.W.S. and Y.L.S. You win some and you lose some.
Gut moed.
Yanky55-
I only got the most obvious one off the top of my head:
???? ?? ?? ??? ???? ??? ????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??? ???
(Bereishis 5:32)
I’m sure those who lain or have better memories from being ma’avir sedra got them all pretty quickly.
Good one.
Don’t be so sure about people getting them so quickly…..
Okay. Here’s a hint. One of the others is in Sefer Bereishis and the other in Sefer Shemos.
Yanky55 –
The one in Sefer Shemos is “Ki yad al keis kah” at the end of Parshas Beshalach.
The other is “Ki gam zeh lach ben;” I forget about exactly which of the shevatim it was said.
One has four coins, a penny, a nickel, a dime and a quarter.
All are dated 1975.
What is the monetary value of the four coins?
Well, there’s no such thing as a 1975 quarter since it was a bicentennial edition, so I’d say 11 cents!
41 cents.
or one cent, five cents, ten cents, and 25 cents
Quarters issued in 1975 were dated 1776 – 1976 (as were half dollars and dollar coins).
Any quarter with a date of 1975 has a monetary value of $0.
$.01 + $.05 + $.10 +$0 = $.16.
(As a side point- dollar coins issued in 1975 have a different font on the reverse than the ones issued in 1976.)
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