The Non Sequitur Thread

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  • #612520
    I. M. Shluffin
    Participant

    noun

    1. a conclusion or statement that does not logically follow from the previous argument or statement.

    Each post must follow the above rules of randomness. For example:

    Gevalt. Gevaldig!

    I bought ten goldfish on friday afternoon to feed my turtle for Pesach, and put them in a separate bowl. By midnight on Shabbos, nine were dead. The next morning, so was the tenth. I’m a murderer! 🙁

    No one likes cottage cheese like I do.

    Benjamin Franklin was born January 7, 1706, in Boston.

    Attention: Chien bizarre.

    Duct tape will fix the world.

    #1066211
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore!

    Aren’t graham crackers delicious? I’m going to miss them when Pesach comes ’round.

    A makom Torah = a Bible place.

    I wish kosher Doritos were kosher for Pesach for everyone….

    V’ahavta l’reichacha kamocha.

    Mmmmmmm, pizza.

    Old McDonald had a farm, eieio.

    It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s— It’s a bird. T_T

    Like totally what-EVER!

    #1066212
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It’s a bird! It’s a red cardinal! Wearing a shtreimel! On a Monday!

    What is this generation coming to?

    #1066213
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    And the kids just don’t understand.

    Mickey Mouse is getting overweight. I need to go shopping before my pet leopard eats the goldfish.

    #1066214
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    I have a cold. I need a tiger.

    #1066215
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    Chocolate mousse is so delicious when served with used tissues.

    #1066216
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Now that should be against the rules. I can’t read Chinese.

    #1066217
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    Kellogs taste delicious. It’s raining today.

    #1066218
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    You don’t know what you’re talking about, he was a doctor. I can’t find my rain boots.

    #1066219
    Makcklemore
    Member

    You guys are all crazy! Just because rebyidd23 wrote something doesn’t mean you all have to respond like that. Obama is coming over for the superbowl seder with Capain Hook and avocado. So please pass me the relish so I can dip the football at the camp site without my red hat on Friday with The Statue of Liberty. Also Adam Sandlers uncle was my friends cookbook

    #1066220
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Wait a minute. Now I am going off topic from the off topic, but who responded to anything I wrote?

    #1066221
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    My cat is tap-dancing in a plate of latkes. Purim is my favorite holiday. Once I had a shoe and it was glass. I’d love to be under the sea in a yellow submarine. Where’s Zayde?

    #1066222
    Makcklemore
    Member

    Gummy bears are funny. But Tom Brady can bake a great cake. So if you see my slippers walking to the chasunah, tell him camp is around the corner. Also I’m at a payphone but I’m trying to call home…..I’m trying to call my boss whos also my mother-in-law

    #1066223
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    My grandma bakes the best cookies! Chewbacca ate my homework that was due on the eight day of the week.

    #1066224
    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    Cheese can fly backwards if it tries hard enough. Every fight is a food fight when youre a canibal. Chocolate is yummy. I am AD- oooh, look! Shiny thing!

    #1066225
    Makcklemore
    Member

    A man named Sarah once said to me that whenever she talks his gums hurt like a flying saucer that killed the lion king on the 4th of July in October. Then he met Steven Spielberg at his bris when Han Solo brought Donuts from Toys R Us. Then on December 4th on Purim his roommate saw a yoyo eating a spider

    #1066226
    Makcklemore
    Member

    Come with me and we’ll be in a world of pure imaaaagination.,,,,there’s nothing tooooooooo iiiiit.

    #1066227
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    (I see some SW is coming through since I mentioned Chewie, huh?)

    If the Cat in the Hat is chasing my garden hose, why am I still wearing my bunny slippers?

    #1066228
    Chortkov
    Participant

    It is not your abilities that define you, but your choices.

    Into nothingness, which is to say, everything.

    Don’t touch me, I don’t know where you’ve been!

    A horse! My nation for a horse!

    Et tu Brute?

    Hey Sanka, you dead, man?

    #1066229
    Makcklemore
    Member

    I got a new teddy bear who can tap dance with onions, although his fingerprints are like an astronaut his pants are purple with rainbows in Time Square. And you’re gonna hear me roar

    #1066230
    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    can u stop that?! Beards dont know how!

    #1066231
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Yeke2, why are you mixing up Harry Potter with Shakespeare’s plays? My shoelace is untied.

    #1066232
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    My name is Inigo Montoya. The salt. Please pass the salt.

    #1066233

    Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.

    Come what come may,

    Time and the hour runs through the roughest day

    There’s a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they’d eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn’t true

    #1066234
    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant
    #1066235
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Infinite monkeys are necessary.

    #1066236
    ezlev
    Participant

    i just read every post here and now i feel very stupid,

    as if my brain fell out

    #1066237
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    It did! Pick it up and put it back in.

    #1066238
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    Leonard Q. Ross is cooking cabbage and collecting volumes of the Little Midrash Says. Ow, I just banged my funnybone!

    #1066239

    My hair is a bird. Your argument is invalid.

    #1066240
    sirvoddmort
    Member

    #KTCRIM

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