The Math of the Age Gap

Ideally the system would self correct so that if one year the age gap was tilted one way, the next year it would tilt back. This would be accomplished if all age bias was eliminated.

popa: Your self-correction/tilting back idea is almost saying the same thing I said in option “B”, in different words.

cedarhurst:

Probably I misunderstood you. I am saying it will naturally self correct if people would have no age bias.

Similar to the way all colors of cars would be sold if nobody cared what color they got.

Cedarhurst-Memo:

1. There is no need to eliminate the age gap totally. Overtime what is required is aprox one year differencital. that is becaue there are actually more male births each year than female in the North American White Caucasian community. No only that, but it doesn’t need to be (and shouldn’t be)accomplished overnight.

2. This is NOT accomplished by micro-managaing but as PBA mentions by eliminating age bias as well as figuring out ways to brighe the ages at which boys and girls start dating.

3. B”H tremendous progress has been made but there is a need for a lot lot more.

SAM:

1. What Sara Schinerer did was brand new as are many many organizations.

2. You are incorrect regarding population growth and typical family sizes but as i’ve said before it is a totally irrelevant argument. Unless you are suggesting that

a. the previous generations had the problem

b. it was brought the the attention of the Gedolim along with the age gap explanation

c. the Gedolim DECIDED that nothing should be done.

I don’t think you actually believe all of these three statements to be true. As such, it’s a moot issue what happened 200 years ago.

Perhaps they didn’t have the problem.

Perhps no one chapped the age gap concept (much like none of the Gedolim or R”Y of our generation chapped it until it was presented to them).

Perhaps no one came up with any ideas how to alleviate it (much like in our genetation that it took close to two years from when it was brought to the attention of the Gedolim and R”Y, until anty concrete action was taken i.e. the NASI Project was launched by a regular person who approached R”Y and Gedolim with the concept and receives constant guidance from them).

Either way, it’s really irrelevant as long as you agree that presently this is the situation and there is what to be done about it.

Memo: I don’t think you really belive what you are writing. I think you would agree that a regular normal nice 19 year old girl shouldn’t necessarily consider a divorced boy with 3 children. However if that same girls is still single 19 years later, I think you would agree that as a 38 year old single perhaps she should.

Like everything else in life. It all depends on the situation. But clearly as a single gets a bit older they should adjust what they are looking for. (Obviouslya person should never marry a abusive mean spouse. However, there’s a lot of gray between what a stary eyed 19 year old girl is looking for and what a single 35 year old girl should be ready to say yes to. When that adjustment should take place depends on the each persons situation)

1. correct….. if we were starting from scratch a AVERAGE one year age gap would be fine.

2. To correct it going forward i.e. to make sure all new girls starting to date should not get stuck, we would need to close the AVERAGE gap by slightly more one month per year unitl the average differential is approx one year. (the math is not for the CR)

3. In order to help the hundreds and hundreds (thousands) of already slightly older girls, the pace of closing the Age Gap needs to be accelerated in the near future. The sooner it’s done the more girls that will be saved.

4. Being the its not possible to bring about societal change by x number of months per year, what we need is that the changes that take place societal, attitudinal, structural, should have that effect.

RE: you statements re: the orthodox community in Euprope. Like I said, it is wholly irrelevant and I for one have zero interest in debating the issue. However for starters please show clear factual DATA, proven numbers, NOT conjecture as to populaton growth in europe 1880-1900. Then pleasse show hard data as to the average age at which young men and women began dating. Please don’t tell me about this family or that family that had 9 children.

I for one have NOT done serious studying as to what was then, being that it’s not relevant to the question at hand. However, from the little research that I have done (as well as what I saw growing up and in my parents generation.) class sizes and family sizes are far larger now then they where 30 40 years ago.

Please bear in mind that the in europe many many children died as infants, as young children etc. you need to show family size of children that made it to marriagable age.

However, I think i’m finished debating this irrelevant angle. Unless the R”Y do a about face and say they want to know why Rabbi Akiva Eiger wasn’t concerned with the issue.

So far, to date, none of the R”Y or Gedolim approached had that concern, and thus neither do I.

SAM:

1. the exact age gap is hard to put a number on it, but as of 3 years ago the research that was done revealed approximately 3 to 3.5 differential. I don’t know if any updated research has been done.

2. What has been done so far is raise awareness about the issue. That led to the most significant accomplishment to date i.e. breaking the stigma against slightly older girls. It’s not 100% yet, but shadchanim say they can redd shidduchim (girls the same age as the boys or even slightly older) that 3 years ago they wouldn’t have gotten to first base with.

3. The current efforts are helping the older girls as there is a trickle up effect. The faster the community moves at implementing the various ideas needed to alleviate the Age Gap, the better the chance for the already older girls to still get married.

4. Boys starting to date slightly (only slightly) younger is very much in play as that has the capacity to save A THOUSAND girls. However this is not the forum to divulge details of what is being worked on. When it comes to fruition i’m sure you won’t miss it.