The difference between Ka'as and Frustration

While the abhorrent midah of ka’as may – in some – stem from a degree of “this needs to go my way” atitude, not always is EVERY OUTWARD MANIFESTATION OF ANGER a sign that the person lacks humility or patience.

As a person who, with Divine mercy survived and emerged from a terrible marriage in one piece, b”h, I want to share this with the world: A rubber band that is pulled and pulled from both ends is likely to “snap” at one point: ie. the person may burst out crying or shouting over a seemingly small matter. Humans were only meant to withstand just so much cruelty, and feeling trapped can evoke a pain or frustration THAT CAN SOUND LIKE UNLEASHED ANGER.

The best proof of this? As soon as the person is removed from the causative circumstance, or the perpetrator is “removed” from the victim, she very quickly feels like a new person – or rather, her OLD happy self,once again.

So the next time, you hear ANYONE getting upset in a way that seems disproportionate to the event, please remember: 99% of the time, there’s more to the story than meets the eye.

BORUCH HASHEM, those years are YEARS behind me, and I sure don’t miss ’em!! But I will usually feel compassion for anyone who seems overly agitated – even if they take it out on me – for this reason. Try an experiment…and don’t be surprised if your compassion does wonders. Works for children and adults alike.