Thank you LU thread

[Lightbrite]

Lilmod Ulelamaid:

No reply needed

Just wanted to say thank you.

Actually talked about you to a Rebbetzin during Shabbat! Told her your username and how you and the CR encouraged me to go out to different shuls and ask about shidduchim too.

She said that it was great advice 🙂

—Also thank you about the telephone game thread. I got all defensive because there were details that tied it all in together. Then I realized, wait, what is Hashem telling me? Maybe if it’s that personal that I have to explain in depth, and risk my anonymity and that of a friend, then it was inappropriate to share. LU was sending me a message. So thank you for being a messenger of light here too 🙂

I know that you’re busy and all — and trust that you will get this when you’re available.

Reply unnecessary <3

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

Thank you so much for the words of support, LB! You are definitely one of the nicest posters in the CR!

Regarding the telephone game, I did not mean to imply that you had to explain your reasons. I was just trying to figure out if the words were all connected to the first word or just to the preceding word. But I didn’t meant that you had to explain what the connection is.

Anyhow thanks so much! Always good to hear that my advice has been helpful.

Hatzlacha Rabba with everything!

[FuturePOTUS]

I’m totally in favor of having the mods give you each other’s emails. Would that work/be halachically OK?

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

They won’t let, but why did you make that comment? (I can read several things into that; not sure which one is correct).

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

To answer your question, FuturePotus, it is halachically assur according to : ??? ???? ???? ??? ??? ??? ,??? ?????????’ ????, ???? ? ,???? ??

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/rules-of-the-ywn-coffee-room-please-read

[Little Froggie]

I’m in favor of having my own email.

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

I let.

[Litvos]

LU from what I have seen is a very intelligent person. She is always trying to help, and I think she gives great advices. Lightbrite, you seem young and interested in learning about many things Jewish. I’m not even Jewish (yet) but I am as interested as you are, however not as knowledgable as I have a long way to go.

Thank you both for contributing to my previous threads and being as helpful as always! (Sorry lightbrite, I had to use an exclamation point)

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

Litvos + 1 quintillion!

[Litvos]

I want to take the chance to say I might have been wrong for mentioning your name in the CR trend thread, LU. I meant no harm , and if my actions were seen as offensive, I apologize.

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

Litvos – lol, those were amongst the nicest posts anyone has ever written about me.

+ 1 googol.

[FuturePOTUS]

I made the comment because I believe the two of you could be really good friends and have a positive influence on each other.

[Lightbrite]

Really good friends sounds like opening one up to crossing boundaries. Also a tznius issue for a man and woman.

Thus forum imho helps keep fences, protect our health, and guard our safety because it keeps our identities private.

[FuturePOTUS]

I was under the impression both of you were women… It wouldn’t have crossed my mind otherwise.

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

FuturePotus – thanks for clarifying. In the context of some recent posts by another poster, it sounded like you might have been insulting me, although it was also possible that you could have meant it the way you explained above. So I am very glad to know you meant it the second way.

Thank you.

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

FuturePotus – I’m not sure, but I think LB might have just been explaining why in general, the moderators are makpid about not allowing contact between posters. Also, people could like about their gender. So even if they changed the policy and allowed people of the same gender to be in contact, they have no way of knowing if they really are the same gender or not.

[FuturePOTUS]

With some people it’s easy enough to tell that they’re not faking. My logic against it was that the general argument in favor of having a mixed chatroom is that no one will ever know who they’re talking to (although I do know who a few people here are), and this would corrode that, and ruin that potential heter.

[Lightbrite]

“With some people it’s easy enough to tell that they’re not faking.”

There are some pretty charming people out there that even trained professionals get faked out.

That’s the whole thing about this behavior. Yes there would be of course some novices to rule out. On the other hand, someone with a predatory will, Hashem can even help that person commit an aveirah, as Hashem leads us where we want to go.

Someone who knows enough about human behavior and what an individual is capable of would not be so sure about knowing how to spot a faker. Being too sure of ourselves and our ability to read people can be dangerous.

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

“and ruin that potential heter.”

Who gave this heter?

[Lightbrite]

Lol! Good eye. Wait, rewind, what’s the potential heter?

Sharing email addresses?

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

About men and women talking in the CR. Sounds like many posters assume it’s okay because no contact is possible. I understand that that makes it less of a problem, but I find it interesting to use the word “heter” as though someone poskened that it’s totally fine this way (and clearly assur the other way).

[FuturePOTUS]

I just saw your first post, I wasn’t intending to insult anyone in any way, I should’ve written it clearer.

Yeah that was my assumption, that it’s permitted because there will never be any contact. I assume they asked Daas Torah before they created this, mods?

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

FuturePotus – even if the creators asked Daas Torah, I think it is each poster’s responsibility to ask their own sheilah (if they feel it is necessary) and not to assume there is a heter.

[Lightbrite]

Awesome work LU!!! ~ Thanks for ending that thread 🙂

May’ya achooz

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

lol – just had to get in the last word…

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

Apparently, I wasn’t even successful.

[Lightbrite]

Hi LU! Were those posts deleted? I am so confused. I did not even realize that the post that I sent went through. After I sent it, I went back to delete it, hoping that I would make the 30 minute edit cutoff time. But I didn’t see it. However, then you responded to it. I read your post. I wonder if that one was removed too.

While I did not talk to my therapist about this instance, I really want to spend that time and money talking about bigger things in my life. Furthermore, in therapy I have worked on associating certain hurtful behaviors as belonging to the offending party, and not with myself. So I wanted to give that a try in the CR too, and disassociate myself from that party’s drama.

That way, I can walk through spiderwebs without all the clingy residue, in theory, and I am still working on getting the hang of it 🙂

Thank you so much

edited

[Lilmod Ulelamaid]

LB- I just saw this now. Thank you. I’m glad you saw my post, and I’m glad you are trying to do what’s best for you. I was just concerned because I know that I can do similar things when it’s not good for me. But if you felt it was good for you in this case, that’s incredible!

You are really an amazing person!!! I’m always impressed at how well you deal with it when people are nasty to you in the CR. And I’m impressed by you in general, how you are always trying to grow, and ask questions about things, and by your middos and niceness… etc…

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