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One of the threads got me thinking about my first date with my wife, which was 27 years ago yesterday. At the time she lived in Flatbush, and I lived OOT. I drove up the day before for a friend’s wedding, and stayed overnight at a cousin’s house in Canarsie.
I picked her up, drove into Manhattan, and went to Bernstein’s for dinner. After, we went to South Street Seaport, found an empty bench, and we sat and talked – for over 3 hours. Wow, she was so easy to talk to! (Still is, as a matter of fact.) We got engaged 3 months later.
So, tall us about your first date with your spouse. I’m interested!
I’ll let you know bli neder after/if it ever happens! (although, if it ever happens, I probably won’t be on here anymore, so I won’t be able to).
I picked her up. We went to Starbucks. We talked. I drove her home. Probably said, “good night,” but I don’t remember.
Are there still Jews living in Canarsie?
lilmod ulelamaid – why are you saying if it ever happens? h’h soon it will! i know a BUNCH of girls in their 30 who just got married recently! just dont be TOO PICKY!
“Are there still Jews living in Canarsie?”
Never mind, I just noticed that you said it was 27 years ago.
I was in Law School in Philadelphia, Mrs. CTL to be was doing a grad degree at Teachers College, Columbia U. Our mothers had been childhood friends and suggested we go out.
So, I took the train up from Phila., we had dinner at Lou G. Siegel’s in the garment district (charged the meal to Zaideh’s house account) and then went to a basketball game at Madison Sq. Garden. The Knicks lost, but I won. Married the next year after both graduations…almost 45 years ago.
I haven’t been to a Knick’s game since
LOL….I remember our first date very well….first few hours we barley talked…..drove into city to a comedy club for a show (this was 30 years ago, times and I were a little different) and the silence in the car was DEAFENING. Afterwards i asked if she wanted to get some pizza, she still doesn’t know why she agreed but once we sat down to eat, conversation came easy. BH 30 years later we have plenty to talk about.
takahmamash: Anyone from NY realize that you were not from NY. New Yorkers didn’t call it “Bernsteins”; it was know as “SCHMOOLKS” or “SCHMULKA “Bernsteins.
My only normal first date (all the others were awkward especially since they were in a hotel lobby)
We went to a park and had a picnic, I bought a bunch of bagels and tuna fish, picked her up and walked there we had a great time!
Wow you spent 3 months on dating her before proposing and becoming engaged? That’s pretty long
Yidesh_kup, you barley talked? Does that mean you discussed cholent recipes?
I would think important things like chulent recipes would wait until the second or third date
MA – Wow you spent 3 months on dating her before proposing and becoming engaged? That’s pretty long
Are you being sarcastic? I hope so. Personally, I can’t imagine getting engaged in less than 2 months, although many do, and that’s great if it works for them!
Coffee Addict – good to know it’s possible to have a good first date!
Meno – but you have to know if she knows how to make chulent so you can decide if there should be a second date.
LU,
“good to know it’s possible to have a good first date!”
Oy that’s rough. I also had pretty bad luck until I met the right one. My first third date was also my last third date.
“but you have to know if she knows how to make chulent so you can decide if there should be a second date.”
That’s a good point. Maybe it would make sense to put it on the resume so as not to waste anyone’s time with even a first date. If someone is makpid on a picture then certainly they should be makpid on a chulent recipe.
My husband picked me up from my parents house on Sunday evening. we went to the Hyatt on the east side. After sitting and talking for a few hours, we took a walk through Grand Central Station. On our way back into brooklyn, the battery park underpass was closed and I had to navigate us through downtown even though I had no idea where we were. We get home. He escorts me to the door and the shidduch broke off a few months later.
I get a call a year and day from when we were going to get engaged, he’s interested are you. I said yes, we were engaged a few days later and married about 3 months after that.
Same with me
Especially long distance dating
Meno: “That’s a good point. Maybe it would make sense to put it on the resume so as not to waste anyone’s time with even a first date. If someone is makpid on a picture then certainly they should be makpid on a chulent recipe.”
A shadchan emailed me today asking if she could send my picture to a guy she wants to set me up with. I told her that I am against having pictures sent. She told me that he won’t go out with me if I don’t send it. So I emailed her back that I wouldn’t want to go out with a guy who insists on seeing a picture before he will go out. So she emailed back that he respects that and wants to go out with me anyhow.
Good thing he didn’t ask if I know how to make chulent!
Ctlawyer, can’t believe you went to a non-CT law school. Figured you for UConn or bust.
Good LU!
Hope it all goes great LU!
And if the chulent thing ever comes up, you can search these pages for recipes!
Just noticed I skipped the word “luck”. So I guess that means you deserve a longer bracha…
May your date go well and, if he’s the right one for you, may you both realize it and IY”H progress from there to whatever goodness your heart desires.
Hatzlacha Rabbah!
Popa………..
University of PA, Wharton School of Finance, Penn Law….back then they had a special 6 year program BS, MBA, JD
UCONN is a good Law School but not IVY League, growing up in New Haven I had no desire to go to Yale and the only other Law School in Connecticut was University of Bridgeport which was not a great school. Some 30 years ago its faculty voted to leave UB and join Quinnipiac and it is a much better school.
Small states don’t have much choice in professional schools. Until this year we had only 2 medical school: Yale and UCONN, now Quinnipiac has opened one to compete. In fact there are only 8 schools in CT where one can get a BSRN, 3 are Catholic Universities, the Quinnipiac and 4 state Universities who only take 40 students each per year. That’s why youngest daughter is doing her BSRN in NY.
First post on this site.
My first date with my wife was a walk in the park. She drove 45 minutes from her home. I drove 10 minutes from my home. We walked for two hours through the park. Afterward I asked if she wanted to continue. We walked another half hour on a road adjacent to a nearby river, and a half hour back. In total, a three hour tour.
The unusual aspect of my story is that the date ended at 1:00 PM, and I went home for lunch, then I went through the whole exercise again, another first date at a minigolf course, the same afternoon. So my “last first date” was not my wife, but another woman whom I have not seen since then.
Thank God, my wife and I are married with a son.
Welcome!
You believe in dating multiple folks simultaneously?
i dont have a spouse yet but h’h soon.
IMYH mine will be in my dining rooom….and then I’ll have another one in a dining room then one or two dates then engaged and the dates throughout engagement then marry and kids bezras hashem…..moshiach
“dates throughout engagement”
They do that?
UCONN is a good Law School but not IVY League, growing up in New Haven I had no desire to go to Yale and the only other Law School in Connecticut was University of Bridgeport which was not a great school.
You could have stayed in New England though and gone to Harvard. Or do New Haven people hate Harvard too much even if they don’t like Yale?
Meno….my family
Happygirlygirl – are you engaged already? h’h soon that i will date my future husband and the dates will probably be at resteraunts, bowling, ice skating, normal places, etc….. for the first date should i ask to go bowling if i have the choice (go to a bowling place far away so that its a private date)?
Popa……….
Note the specific 6 year program I attended at Penn. This was unique and while a Harvard MBA has gained cache in recent years 40 years ago it did not compare with Wharton.
I have no disdain for Harvard. I’ve stated before that a family member is a law professor there.
I’m not engaged yet! IF I am I will let u all know.
Mashgiach Agent might think 3 months dating is long — where we are here, that is lightning fast. Sydney is not like you American Jewry. Families here interfere a lot and you need to know who we are to be sure. A lot of newlyweds are divorcing at alarming numbers.
“for the first date should i ask to go bowling if i have the choice”
Ask him to go to a very expensive restaurant. If he says no he’s not worth it.
Whats the point of going bowling on a first date? First get to know the person and see if he stands a chance, then go and have fun.
Excellence: Unfortunately the divorce rate here in the US is climbing especially among couples still in SHANA RISHONA. One well know shadchan has a 35% divorce rate.
Another first date was bowling. It was expensive, but a one-and-done. Rabbi Sobolofsky from NJ has said publicly that his first date with his wife Efrat was bowling, so it works for some people.
Regarding the multiple people simultaneously issue, I’m not against it in principle as long as you’re not yet “serious” with any one of them. This was a very unusual situation for me where I had lined up two first dates several weeks in advance of my summer break, but I had to be in physical proximity to the candidates, and it just worked out to be the same day for both, and I was able to finagle a date with one woman in the morning and the other woman in the afternoon. When my father found out what was happening, he said it was fine but not to do it again. Amen!
soberknight – for me i would go bowling on my first date so no one sees me out on a date.
Sparkly,
You become invisible when you bowl? That sounds cool
Iacisrmma, with all due respect, that sounds a bit over the top. Or should I say- not likely?
35% ? You realize that means higher than 1 out of 3. I understand there’s no way you can name that shadchan, but in the absence of any furhter clarification, we’ll have to file that one in the unsubstantiated/unlikely folder.
Meno – NO, but, the place im thinking about NO ONE goes there and so no one would see us (as in NO frum people go there)
Sparkly,
I see.
I’ve been on a bunch of first dates. I’ve found that it’s better to do something where you could just talk and get to know the person. For the second date you can have more fun.
I’m sure there are places where you could go to talk where there are no frum people.
Meno – like college? well theres ALWAYS frum people there.
I’m sure there are other places where there aren’t tons of frum people
Meno – like?
Golfer: If you have children in the shidduch process then you know the statistic is true.
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