Teachers…

I’ve had my fair share of teachers who, to say it nicely, I didn’t get along with. In hindsight however, teachers usually don’t mean to hurt students. There are definitely exceptions to this, but if you find that most teachers are out to get you, I would dare say that maybe you should be the one to switch your attitude.

As for personal stories, oh boy! I have archives of those! Volumes upon volumes. One particular incident that sticks out was actually in my last year of high school. So I had this policy that if teachers can chose favorites so can students. So by some classes I was a model A+ student, frequent participator, copious note taker… and by others I would fail my way through the year. My report cards are testimony to my attitude lol. So anyways there was this one teacher who was NOT a favorite. In the middle of they year she called me out and asked me. “Streekgeek, I heard from Mrs. Whatever that you participate in her class, and you actually are doing well. Do you think you would try a bit harder in my class. I’m sure you have alot of nice things to add that will enhance our class” So I promised her if that’s what she wants I would gladly acquiesce. This teacher was in middle of teaching maaseh beraishes and the foundations of emunah. So I took all my knowledge of the subject at hand (which is alot, as emuna was something I had struggled with prior to this class) and sort of messed up her whole lesson. After class she called me over again and said she would be happy if I wouldn’t spew my kefirus so the whole class wouldn’t get influenced. That really hurt. Especially since this teacher has never been particularly kind to me since the beginning of that year. I guess I’ll never know what she had against me. Thinking back, maybe it wasn’t baseless and irrational. But I’ll never know cuz there is no way I would ever ask.

I had a teacher in elementary school that was absolutely disgusting to us. She made up the craziest stories and would tell them to us all the time. She never actually tought us anything. And she was so mean to a few or us that she decided she hated. I probably cried nearly every day that year. I don’t think anyone in my class will every forget her.

Rising Sun, I’m sorry you’re going through such a painful time right now. I remember feeling hated by certain teachers; it was awful. I wish I could share a couple of incidents with you where I was publicly humiliated by those teachers, but it would violate some people’s privacy, mostly my own.

At a certain point, though, I realized that the teachers were only projecting their own painful inadequacies and insecurities onto me, and their attitude toward me was in no way a reflection of my worth. Even though they were already adults, their unresolved issues caused them to behave like kids, hurting others when their pain surfaced.

Actually, noticing which situations or behaviors triggered their hurtful actions was very revealing. It helped me understand some of their flaws and how they must be struggling because of them. This helped me see my teachers as humans who had to struggle to overcome their own painful and difficult feelings the same way everyone else must.

Then I didn’t feel they hated me; at those moments that they hurt me, they were just people in terrible pain. When someone is in pain, you understand that whatever they say is just their pain exploding and has nothing to do with you.

The realization that my teachers’ hurtful words stemmed from their own deficiencies freed me of any negativity toward them. I am very grateful to have learned this about people at a young age; my life is clearly positively impacted both personally and professionally from having this viewpoint.

I am a teacher and I am really shocked that you feel this is so common. I really try to be very kind to my students and treat them as my “clients”. I do not feel superior to them, I do not yell, and I am very accomodating. Every year I ask mechila at the class party and encourage the students to write me a private letter if they have any bad feelings. My job is to teach my students so that they will love the subject and get them excited about learning. and to role model self respecting behavior. If that is not happening in other places, then the school is at fault for not making the teacher’s job description clear and enforcing it. In my school, the students are our priority and we all work as a team to help every student do as best as they can. Any teacher that makes a student feel like the first poster is not worthy of the title “teacher”.