- This topic has 16 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 6 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
What do you do about women who come to Shul just to socialize and disrupt other serious Daveners? We have asked them nicely to keep it down but they don’t seem to be able, and one even admitted she “can’t control” herself. The Rov has been told but unfortunately these women’s husbands are “machers” in the Shul (their husbands talk during Davening too) and I believe the Rov is not willing to do more than make a general speech here and there, never singling anyone out, and never really enforcing the rule to be quiet. He’s young and inexperienced and the talkers are 25 yrs older than he! Help!
Daven out loud to Hashem that he should make all shul talkers there today ill so that they cannot come to shul and disrupt people davening. Once hearing this outloud tefila of yours, it might cure them. Do this everytime you’re in shul with disrupters.
Find some other shul to daven in.
Let the Rabbi address how bad cell phones are in Shul; When he gets this accross, equate all forms of talking to repulsiveness & abomination of talking on cell phones during services.
Find a different Shul.
Come to our Shul.
Nobody talks during Davening. I mean NOBODY. Not the men, not the women. To our dismay, there’s always an ample of letzonim, scoffers, who congregate in the hall or outside and shmooze the day away IN FULL VIEW OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN, but inside there’s ONLY DAVENING.
if the plague of talking in shul (either side of the mechitza) cant be eradicated i would leave and find a suitable shul, where there is yira shamayim, kavod beit knesset, kavod for the tzibur.
a secular relative was once visiting me and came to shul with me. he was floored at the lack of kavod for the shul that the mispallelim showed. despite the rabbis many repeated pleas, he said he never saw anything like this in all the conservative and reform shuls he had ever went to over all the years… he was shocked that orthodox jews would behave this way. such a disregard for the shul,the congregants, the rabbis, the torah and for Hashem! and it wasnt just during the tefila, it was during the kriat hatorah, and continued thru a drasha given by a rabbi that was invited to speak as a guest.
i haven’t gone back there for years and dont plan to. it was a true hillul hashem that happened in front of many jews, and of course a personal embarrassment for me as well. needless to say definitely not an experience that brought anyone closer… (i wish i had brought him somewhere else) of course there is a lot more good going on, torah, mitzvot, chessed, bh! but we need to fix this…
to all the talkers a refuah shalema bkarov, and it really is a sickness, but thats still no excuse. ask yourself, if you go to shul to talk- where do you go to daven? if not for the sake of all the others around you, so they can daven properly, do yourself a favor for YOUR kavod of the shul/ tzibur and review hilchos kavod beit haknesset
focus on your davening a lot more with full kavanna.
cause when a person reaches DEEP into his davening s/he is total engrossed in it & nothing distracts her. all she can think about is what the words mean & asking hashem for whatever he needs are
Hatzlacha rabba
People have been schmoozing in shul for centuries if not millenia. We know this from all the halachic literature complaining about the problem. So we should all shut up, be self-righteous (we aren’t the ones doing it), and live with it.
In reality, most people come to shul in order to daven. Once they get there and see other people, their social goals emerge, and they take precedence. The talking in shul problem can be addressed in various ways. The “Stop Talking in Shul” project, which has major support from the media is one way. While I support it, I also recognize its limitations.
There is another direction, and I would hope it can be successfully implemented and successful. The concept, not exactly new, is to learn to appreciate tefilo. B”H there is a wealth of resources to assist in this. There are siddurim with translations in Yiddish, English, and many other languages. There are hundreds of meforshim, and there are also many seforim that engage in the subject of tefilo in ways that are not just academically exciting, but speak to one’s emotion. If we appreciated the gift of tefilo, we would more likely pass up the social benefits of the shul to prioritize davening.
For too many, tefilo is a perfunctory exercise that one needs to fulfill (i.e., get it out of the way) in order to move onto the next activity of the day. Such an attitude gives tefilo little meaning, and pushes it way down the list of priorities. It also removes the significance it should have for us all – a golden opportunity to speak to HKB”H.
People ask, don’t goyim have the ability to daven. I saw a sefer that addresses that. A Yid can daven anywhere. Goyim need to bring a korbon to the Bais Hamikdosh (ki baisi bais tefilo yiokorei lechol ho’amim). Thus, the shul is a special gift, that highlights the unique relationship HKB”H has with Klal Yisroel. There is much to appreciate.
At least they’re not as loud as the men who talk during davening.
Get permission from the Rov to carry tape on Shabbos to be used on the mouths of those perpetrators.
Francorachel, there isn’t much you can do about the way others behave- or misbehave- in shul. As many others have suggested, finding a different place to daven is a good option. There are B”H many shuls where talking during davening is not a problem, and you can hear a pin drop even while waiting for someone to walk up for an aliya.
If there are no other shuls where you live, there may be a strong argument that you’re better off davening at home if you’re a woman. I hope you (and other posters) don’t take issue with this. Don’t take my word for it! Ask someone you feel comfortable entrusting with the proper care and performance of your spiritual obligations.
I really believed that speaking reasonably with people who spoke in shul was the solution. It is not. No matter what I said or how I said it I was almost always ignored at best or mocked at worst. Even those who thanked me for pointing out the obvious to them inevitably went back to talking. So, I left that shul and now daven with a yeshiva minyan. Best idea I ever had.
People have been schmoozing in shul for centuries if not millenia. Akuperma:- This is 1/2 correct but also 1/2 incorrect. Unfortunately as you said this became such a rampant problem in Ashkenazik Shuls, that this is often proffered as 1 of the reasons why a holocaust was necessary; On the end of the spectrum, this was an almost non extant problem in Sephardii Shuls, and hence that for the most part, Sephardi were just about totally spared from the Holocaust.
Tach V’Tat has been attributed by the Achronim to talking in shul.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.