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If you are single or when you were single, how important is/was it to you that the girl know how to cook and bake before you would go out with her?
If you are married, have your views on this changed since you got married?
It isn’t critically important that she know how to cook and bake before you go out with her. It is critically important that she be ready and willing to learn how to cook and bake, should she be short on some of those skills, once married.
Cooking is more important than baking but baking is easier than cooking. Most guys are coming from Yeshiva so everything you cook will taste good because yeshiva food is so bad
a girl should know how to cook before she gets married thats part of being independent in general. if someone isnt ready to be independent their NOT ready for marriage.
yeshivabochur – thats good to know. poor guy.
What’s wrong with being a raw vegan?
For me it was not important that Frogette cook or bake. I came from a Yeshiva setting where I developed something like a metal stomach – something that could digest anything they had to offer… So I didn’t really need much (maybe if she could fry cardboard… cook paper…)
lilmod ulelamaid – how?
Little Froggie – i want mr sparkle to know how to cook.
Joseph, this survey is self selecting, and, not valid
Survey for women only
how important is it that the boy you date has a good job and will be able to provide for you and your children?
my wife couldnt cook water for a coffee. she had no clue about cooking or baking. it took time but now she is a top cook and baker. her challahs are to die for. it depends on the person. she wanted to learn so she did.
It was not high on my list of priorities as my father taught my mother how to cook and my sister learnt most of what she knew after she was married.
How important?
Zero important
Lol are you serious? It’s important that she doesn’t put poison in my food anyway.
It wasn’t important at the time.
At the time we were dating, I was able to taste Shabbat food that she had made, so I knew before we were married that there were no problems in the cooking/baking department.
lilmod ulelamaid
Can I get your recipe for macaroni egg salad?
In exchange, I can teach you how to change a light bulb
There’s always the fresh and easy cook book OR bais yakov cookbook filled with simple and delicious recipes
Lilmod …..you are older than 34 omggggg
It would be a nice thing to know but I don’t see how you could find out much before the first date.Therefore, it is pretty irrelevant.
For the guys…. Don’t be a shoiteh. If you find somebody you click with and admire as a human being then everything else will fall into place. I was lucky to find a great cook in addition to having everything I was looking for but it wasn’t a prerequisite. I know many couples where the husband does the cooking because he enjoys it more. A person can learn how to cook and bake but everything else…….. not so much!
popa has married grandchildren.
LU,
I think she was just surprised, not implying that you shouldn’t be here.
I find that it happens quite often here. You kind of develop a picture of someone in your head and then they reveal something which shows that the picture is way off.
If you care about food quality, it should be very important. If you are working full time and coming home late but want to eat well and healthy (in addition to your kids), you’ll need your wife to cook. Even among goyim, women still do most of the cooking.
Wait, you went from saying the Rav Shach story had slightly different details than presented to now denying the well known story altogether? Did you read the three paragraph post I made in the other thread mentioning a letter Rav Shach wrote?
Rav Shach’s letter is in Michtavim u’Maamarim. The story about Rav Shach has many eyewitnesses.
lilmod, the story about Rav Shach and the two seminary girls is brought down in the Sefer Lulei Sorasecha. You are correct it was a Ramban (not Rambam) they asked him about, but it was kugel not baking that he answered them with.
After the girls asked him about the Ramban, Rav Shach in his trademark warmth and smile asked them if they knew how to make kugel. They affirmed they did. And Rav Shach replied “And I know how to learn yet must still spend my life working on learning better. Your job is to work on making better kugel.”
Joseph,
Many distinguished individuals have had a problem with the story
-at least the way it’s related over
IITFT, they don’t like Rav Shach’s message. But Rav Shach’s message is still Rav Shach’s message.
It’s been more than 45 years since I dated, but it was not important if I knew whether the girl could cook and/or bake before we dated.
My mother A”L taught all her children how to cook, bake and do laundry the summer of the child’s 8th year. Mother was an educator, off from work in the summer. She felt that both boys and girls needed to be self sufficient in the home.
Mrs. CTL knew how to cook and bake when we married, but we split duties according to our schedules. This year when she spent more than a month in the hospital I did not have to rely on family and friends for sustenance.
At her shvigger’s urging Mrs. CTL taught all 5 of our children to cook, bake and do laundry at similar ages. Since the older 3 maintained their own apartments as singles in graduate school these skills came in handy.
In my family, it’s unheard of for someone to live on their own without being married, and my family isn’t even that religious. Our mores are that if you’re not married, you belong with your parents.
lilmod, how’d you pay for your seminary, schooling, food and housing beginning from age 17?
dovrosenbaum…………..
If a family lives OOT and the 20 something child is attending medical, dental or law school the chances are that that child will not be living at home. Our children attended professional schools in major US cities with frum communities and amenities. They had apartments and had to cook and clean for themselves. It happens that sons 1&2 overlapped in one apartment. Daughters 1&2 occupied a condo in Brooklyn that we purchased for their grad school days.
The only commutable first rank law or medical schools that could have allowed living at home were at Yale. Having gone to a different IVY League U and Law school it was not what I wanted for them. The boys went to Harvard, the girls went to Penn. Daughter 3 is still in undergraduate school and in a dorm in NY.
Both MRS CTL and I went to college and prof schools and lived on our own. I guess our parents had more liberal attitudes than yours. Our family also doesn’t let children marry until education is complete and a professional license in place. Child 4 graduated Law School in December, took the Bar Exam (and passed B”H) and was married just before Pesach. This system works for us.
Sparkly,
Then what will happen if he’s in kollel?
Also won’t you be making tons of money as a pharmacist?
Meno – exactly ill be a pharmacist h’h that makes LOTS of money. pharmacists are the breadwinners usually.
lilmod ulelamaid – if were both still in school Hashem will take care of us.
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