superficiality

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  • August 16, 2012 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #604597
    shtark4ever
    Member

    why has it become that people focus on superficial things so much: what shirt you wear if its tucked in or not,does he wear jeans,does he smoke,or all the things that we judge a person by when we see him why don’t people try to engage in a conversation before labeling this guy. who are we to start labeling who’s who?

    August 17, 2012 1:50 am at 1:50 am #891700
    mommamia22
    Participant

    I think (just my opinion) it’s a nisayon of the generation (at large), and that living amongst others, we have adopted their external values. The secular world is so tied in with the value of youth and appearance. People are judged by their portfolios, financial assets, occupational position, physical appearance and youthfulness.

    August 17, 2012 3:35 am at 3:35 am #891701
    gefen
    Participant

    i don’t think not wanting a smoker has to do with superficiality. it has to do with having sechel and wanting a healthy husband, and a healthy home to bring your children (and yourself) into. it has to do with ur husband not slowly killing himself. not superficial at all.

    August 17, 2012 3:57 am at 3:57 am #891702
    WIY
    Member

    Shtark

    Check out the website klal persperctives

    August 17, 2012 10:17 am at 10:17 am #891703
    MorahRach
    Member

    Gefen +1

    August 17, 2012 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #891704
    yummy cupcake
    Member

    sorry, that gefen post was really mine! i didn’t realize gefen signed out of my name, and when i got back on, i didn’t sign in…

    August 17, 2012 2:27 pm at 2:27 pm #891705
    yentingyenta
    Participant

    I went to a Shadchan and s/he had a preprinted card. this is basically what the card had:

    name

    hebrew name

    parents’ hebrew names

    school(s)

    learning or koveah itim

    hat-yes or no

    rekkel-yes or no

    payos-yes or no

    tzitzis in or out

    beard-yes or no

    height-how tall min.?

    smoking-yes or no

    sephardi-yes or no

    chassidish-yes or no

    divorced-yes or no

    parents divorced-yes or no

    BT-yes or no

    i got SO annoyed at this shadchan for asking such SILLY questions! for 80% of the questions, I said “as long as he looks like a mensch” or “I never really thought about it because it is not really important (said this when he asked about height. as long as he is taller that me i’m happy)

    I was not impressed w/ this system. so many of the questions seemed superficial to me and not really important. then again, if he is asking these questions, other people must be asking him/her those questions when s/he redts a shidduch.

    August 17, 2012 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #891706
    shtark4ever
    Member

    oh i was referring to shtam how people view a yeshiva guy as a bum or other things because he smokes. i wasn’t talking in regards to shidduchim and even in shidduchim its very possible if a person meets the right one she can convince him to stop

    August 17, 2012 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #891707
    shtark4ever
    Member

    if we are getting on that topic .I 100 percent agree with yentingyenta in that regard nowadays people ask the most absurd questions that dont really have any real meaning and they dont indicate anything real about the person

    August 17, 2012 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm #891708
    shlishi
    Member

    yummy: It’s always Mom’s fault, huh? 😉

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