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Any stories (so we can bring awareness as to how stupid people sound and to get people to think twice before talking) of stupid things people have said to you?
For example:
Someone asked my friend if her child has down syndrome.
He doesn’t.
Someone has asked me if my son has Down’s syndrome. He does.
Someone asked me if I was alive or a ghost because they couldn’t see me. I was standing behind them.
[Visiting a patient in the hospital, two days after the removal of a brain tumor] “So…how big was it?”
too many to list
When I’m due any day and people ask me if there’s any news yet. So annoying! If there was news they would have heard already.
notasheep,
so IS there any news yet?
but seriously, they cant see ur still pregnant, maybe they think ur scheduling a c section and want to tell them the gender if u know, so they could come for a bris
“You hate Israel so what u hate the kosel” more then one person has said that to me beileve it or not
In what tone?
A rather unfriendly one
Was it
You hate Israel. So what, you hate the Kosel.
You hate Israel? So what, you hate the Kosel.
You hate Israel. So what, you hate the Kosel!
You hate Israel! So what, you hate the Kosel?
Or
You hate Israel? So what, you hate the Kosel!
?
True story heard from eyewitess:
Man died young in a car crash. At the Shiva, somebody asked his brother: “So if you could see him one more time, what would you say to him?”
The brother, who had a sense of humour, shouted “Take the train, <Ploni>, take the train!!”.
Honestly, some people really know how to ask stupid questions.
Coffee addict- talking about my friends and family! People who see me all the time and can tell. ..
Your should answer “Of course! You didn’t hear?” This is just a watermelon I’m trying to steal!
sorry notasheep,
i should’ve put a ? after they couldn’t see ur still pregnant(?)
lol @ ivory
When I was 8 years old, my first nephew was born. I was pushing his stroller in BP and someone asked me if I was the father.
Now that’s idiotic.
Another good one is “wait ur chassidish “
So not a sheep: is there a mazel tov yet?
During Yizkor my father was standing outside shul and a fellow asked my father why he wasn’t inside saying Yizkor. No response was given. My grandparents were alive and doing quite well.
Nope! Will bez”h post on the mazal tov thread when there’s any news
I know a fellow (“Reuven”) who was sitting shiva for his father. An old man walks in and asks, “Why are you sitting shiva? You’re adopted!”. Reuven hadn’t known.
When I sat shiva for my father O”H 21 years ago, someone came in and started to say what I thought was going to be something very sweet to me, comparing me to her daughter (who is a very accomplished, intelligent woman, with many, many mailos). What she in fact said when she finished the sentence was, “Yes, you really remind me of my daughter. After she got married, she also became heavy!”
And when we sat shiva for my mother O”H five months later (yes, I lost both of them within five months unexpectedly), ANOTHER woman, an old friend of my parents, came in and started telling us about when she and my mom were both pregnant together. She gave birth first and had “a beautiful baby boy – THE most gorgeous baby boy ever brought into the universe. And so SMART!: Why, he could practically do calculus by the time of his bris! (I take poetic license here). Now comes the zinger. THEN, my MOM gave birth to my sister and (quote), “But as gorgeous as MY baby boy was…
THAT’S HOW UGLY YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE BORN! I didn’t know how to even wish a sincere mazel tov to your poor parents, nebbich, I was so upset for them!” Yes, this woman said those words, and she was NOT joking at the time, in case you think she was.
We were floored, because my sister was an absolutely gorgeous baby, so gorgeous, in fact, that the nurses all fought to take care of her, and told my mom they were so jealous of her, getting to take this beautiful baby home (and she WAS beautiful – I can attest to that, and she still is, kinehora ad meah v’esrim shana). But my poor sis was SO flummoxed by the woman’s comment that she unthinkingly stammered, “But I was always told I was a pretty baby – are you sure you don’t mean my sister???” (We are working through that remark to this day, LOL, but the truth is I was a preemie, born at the beginning of the 8th month, and really NOT so pretty a baby until I was a month old, and then I was GAW-JUSS!)
The woman quickly replied, “NOOOOOOO!!! It was YOU. B”H you finally grew into your looks later on! So I didn’t have to feel sorry for your parents anymore.”
People often say really stupid things when they cannot think of anything to say. And sometimes, the old adage is true. “Better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt…”
BTW, my sibs and I (we are two girls and two boys) ALL had a really good laugh over these incidents, and when the second woman left we said, “Nichamtanu, Mrs. So and So. Nichamtanu.”
Actual conversation that I know about:
“What are you looking for?”
“I’m not really sure. Oh, but not a kohen.”
“You don’t want to marry a kohen?”
“I can’t marry a kohen.”
“Why not?”
Stupid conversation I had with a friend:
Friend: How old are you?
Me: 52. [This was a few years ago.]
Friend: Oh, you’re the same age I am. I’ll be 52 in May.
[pause, laugh] Oops! My husband just reminded me I’m going to be 62, not 52.
My father sells cars, someone came over to him and said “Another car dealer owes me money so I will buy a car by him but i wanted to know if you can sit with me and compare all the advantages and disadvantages of a couple of different models so I will know what to choose when I buy it by this other guy”
My father, the tzaddik that he is, gave him an hour of his time as he asked this question and that.
Parnusah is from Hashem.
someone once called me fat another time someone called me stupid another time someone asked if it was a boy or girl i told them i wasnt expecting
People are thoughtless sometimes, and especially in public. Better not to react to them, and give everyone brachos.
For stupid things that may or may not have actually been said to people, but definitely never should be, I recommend the videos “How NOT to Perform Bikur Cholim,” “Shtick Yeshivish People Say At Shivas,” and “Things Not to Say on a Shidduch Date.”
DaasYochid:
Why was that stupid?
Haifagirl:
Ignorance is not stupidity.
someone once told me not to cross on a red light because dina dimalchusa dina
Reuven was sitting shiva for his father.
Guy comes in, and says, your great-aunt adopted a stray cat.
Reuven never knew.
Pretty stupid to talk about a cat at shiva.
I was in the hospital, having a miscarriage. The nurse comes into the room and says,
“And how are WE today????” In that annoying perky tone a woman having a miscarriage does not really appreciate.
My response, “My day is actually pretty lousy considering I’ve just lost my baby!” I must admit, I did edit this a little….And, as a general rule, I’m upbeat and happy but this was just really over the top!
Not so stupid to talk about the cat if said great aunt is there and the cat followed her.
It’s not up to a stranger to tell someone who’s grieving that they were actually adopted. That’s pretty tactless.
Im at a meal with a south african friend of mine.
Other guest “hey (friend) where are you from?”
He’s just taken a mouthful, so I reply
Me “He’s from South Africa”
OG “which country?”
Friend “the country S A”
OG “There’s a country called South Africa? Oh, is it near Mexico?”
Facepalm
on the subject of stupid things that people said (at a shiva) when my grandmother o”h died after the Levaya by father thanked the Chevra Kadisha and one of them said “its a pleasure”, so my grandfather who happened to hear it told him “you have funny pleasures in life”…
notasheep:
Tactless or thoughtless, yes, not stupid, though
I must admit that we (including myself) haven’t
been distinguishing between the two in this thread.
scared driver delight:
“someone once told me not to cross on a red
light because dina dimalchusa dina”
Actually, Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky wouldn’t even
cross against a red light on foot.
It seems there is a shita that all laws
of one’s country must be obeyed to the letter.
Poster:
That wasn’t necessarily stupid. It might have been
stupid to expect your father to do it, but maybe he
asked around about him first.
GG [Golder(‘?)s Green, right?] yekke:
He might have meant that it was a pleasure to
be able to do chessed for your grandmother,
and your grandfather might have been
joking in a way that’s common on the Coffee Room.
randomex: I was talking about on foot and if R’ Yaakov didn’t do it, it was probably because of chilul hashem or something. Dina dimalchusa dina refers to monetary laws which are binding in halacha.
They said it and it was true. They weren’t quoting, they were simply saying the same words.
yes randomex my grandfather was joking, he is very cynical (in a way that’s common on the Coffe Room)in a humorous way and he had lots of one liners of that sort, which he used throughout the shiva
Saying something tactless IS stupid.
Someone once told my grandmother she was fat, so she told them “I’m filling in the wrinkles as they come.”
I have one friend who constantly tells me about all of her clothing that she “just lost so much weight and now simply can’t fit into, they’re so big- writersoul, you should really try them on!”
And the tone of surprise when people see my yearbook picture is priceless. Yes, as a matter of fact, I was wearing makeup, thanks for asking.
That sounds more mean than stupid.
Writersoul – really???? People can be so foolish.
For #1: She’s actually a genuinely nice person and if I wanted the clothes (which, incidentally, would be a bit too big on me) she would gladly give them to me- she was being completely serious. I just don’t think that she was thinking about how it made me feel- and I think it made her feel good about her weight loss as well, which isn’t something I’ll begrudge her.
The yearbook picture thing is just funny. I don’t think it looks like me either, to be honest. My grandmother has it in her living room and shows it off to everyone who comes in- one time I had to drop mail off by a neighbor (in a maxiskirt, braid and no makeup, more pimples) and the neighbor gave me a long look when I said who I was and the lightbulb immediately clicked on- “oh! You’re [writersoul’s mom]’s daughter! Tell your sister that her yearbook picture is beautiful!” I sort of just smiled politelyish and left.
Why do you feel a need to take apart everyone’s posts and list the things you think were faulty in them? Do you think it will make people look forward to your posts?
I know this has been brought to your attention before, please be more considerate.
unnamed mod,
you see what i mean, randomex would make a great college professor
Yup, caught it the first time.
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