Sound Famiiar? (For Your Morning Smile)

Me:(to customer service)Thank you.(about to hang up)

Customer Service Rep: Oh, you’re quite welcome. ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with at this time?

Me: No, you’ve been quite helpful, thank you. (about to hang up)

CSR: Ma’am, I’m so very happy to hear that. If you have any further issues with this matter, feel free to call this number. Do you have a pen?

Me:(sighs, goes to get one)Yes.

CSR: Okay, ma’am. I really appreciate you going to get a pen. Are you ready for the number?

Me: Yes.

CSR:OK, the number to reach us, should you encounter any issues with this matter in the future is:

Me: Yes?

CSR: Wonderful. The number is…may I put you on hold for a moment?

Me:(no chance to answer)

CSR:(5 minutes later)So sorry to have kept you waiting. The number you need to call is: 1,672,698,893,000000,432.

Me: Got it.

CSR: Great. And your confirmation number is…

Me:(through gritted teeth)Yes??

CSR: Hmmm, let’s see, oh yes, here:224,D as in David,4432,C as in Charles,897,zero, zero, OH as on Ohio….Z.

Me:(deep breath)Yes, I have it. Goodbye.

CSR: Would you be willing to take a customer service survey?

Me: No, see, I’m in a rush.

CSR: Were you not happy with my assistance of you this afternoon, ma’am?

Me: Of course I was!!Okay, I’ll do the survey.

GPS-like female voice: Press 1 for likely, 2 for not-so-likely, 3 for I-don’t know,4 for I’m Hispanic, 5 for…..

Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

The Voice: I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Did you say “Customer Service Please?”

Me:(unplugs phone from wall)

The Voice: We NEVER hang up, we NEVER hang up, We…