Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › so i blushed……
- This topic has 109 replies, 29 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 2 months ago by MDG.
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August 28, 2011 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #803737popa_bar_abbaParticipant
????
August 28, 2011 3:00 pm at 3:00 pm #803738taking a breakMemberif you are trying to guess, you have 2 left
Hint: more common then seraach
August 28, 2011 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #803739TomcheMemberShe said “my name is not unusual or unique.”
August 28, 2011 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #803740popa_bar_abbaParticipant????
August 28, 2011 3:06 pm at 3:06 pm #803741taking a breakMemberless common than Esther
August 28, 2011 3:08 pm at 3:08 pm #803742popa_bar_abbaParticipantProbably it is speech therapy school, and it is a bit weird for a frum guy to be doing it anyway. In which case the guy might be just a bit odd.
And I’ll let someone else have the last guess. (Unless we each get three).
Wait! Maybe he was complimenting your last name. Is that a pretty name?
August 28, 2011 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #803744taking a breakMemberi’ll be nice. you can ALL have 3 guesses 🙂 but i wont tell you who is right. and its not speech therapy.
and it wasnt my last name he was complimenting. i dont think he could pronounce my on the first shot
August 28, 2011 4:52 pm at 4:52 pm #803745popa_bar_abbaParticipantGive us another hint.
Is it in torah, neviim, or kesuvim? Or more than one?
Is it a good person or a bad person?
August 28, 2011 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #803746taking a breakMembernevi’im. and a good person.
August 28, 2011 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #803747LuvMeMemberPopa – can i guess? i’m guessing devorah
August 28, 2011 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #803748Queen BeeMemberMichal?
August 28, 2011 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #803749Sam2ParticipantMichal makes sense. It can’t be a common name or too-well-known personality because then there would be nothing to make the name remarkable.
August 28, 2011 5:26 pm at 5:26 pm #803750taking a breakMembersorry. michal is not my name. but it is a nice name IMHO
August 28, 2011 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #803751Queen BeeMemberAw, I thought I guessed right! Can I guess again? Batsheva? If you don’t answer, that means I’m right! 😉
August 28, 2011 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm #803752taking a breakMembersorry, my name has not been mentioned yet. told you its not so common 🙂
August 28, 2011 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #803753mewhoParticipantgiving compliments is a terrible thing. it is not tznius. we allknow that compliments lead to blushing and that leads to untznius thoughts.
if you must give a compliment it should be on the other side of a mechitza
August 28, 2011 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #803754Queen BeeMemberOkay, one last guess: Avigayil?
August 28, 2011 5:51 pm at 5:51 pm #803755taking a breakMembervery close 😉
August 28, 2011 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #803756HealthParticipantTaking a break – You seem to be avoiding the point me and minyan gal brought up. What kind of school does this? I’ve been in many colleges – Jewish and not and not one has ever done this.
If you put a guy in an awkward situation, it might not be so surprising when he does something wrong, esp. if he never had any coed experience before.
Why do take it as whatever the college proclaims is the norm?
Did anyone question this college’s absurd policy?
I blame the college a lot more than the guy. This is called being “Dan L’caf Zecus”!
August 28, 2011 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #803757TomcheMemberBullseye! Bullseye! Bullseye!
August 28, 2011 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #803758popa_bar_abbaParticipantHmmmm. Avigail is close. Naval?
August 28, 2011 6:01 pm at 6:01 pm #803759taking a breakMemberthis is a NON jewish school that gets a number of frum people. i dont want to say what type of school it is for dif reasons. i’ll say its in the medical field (OT, PT, SLP, nursing…. ) i actually offered to be a peer adviser for the school. as i mentioned before, i did not know from his name he was a frum guy. this is not my first year in college and have had to deal with men, frum, non-frum and goyish. i have goyim compliment me, but i gave them the cold shoulder to show them they over stepped the boundary. B”H they got the message. what i really want to know now is how do i make sure he doesnt get the wrong message about me. what i mean to say is i can’t shirk my responsibilities but how do i keep it professional?
tomche: 😉
PBA: QB got the name, you got the spelling 🙂
August 28, 2011 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #803762HealthParticipanttaking a break – Most of my schooling was in the medical field and what your college is asking people to do is far from the norm.
I would get out of this assignment and ask them how come they do it, when no one else does?
August 28, 2011 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #803763Queen BeeMemberYay 🙂
August 28, 2011 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #803764taking a breakMemberhealth: please stop referring to it as an “assignment”. its not a school project, its part of school government. my duties are to answer any questions my advisees (i have 4) have about the school, classwork, teachers, exams, policies. its on a PRN basis. meaning if any of my advisees have no questions, then i dont have to do anything. last year i had a peer adviser and i asked her questions in the beginning of the year. after that, i didnt need her any more once i got used to the school. if he asks questions, i can answer them. how do i keep this strictly school related and doesn’t become non school related with out giving a cold shoulder
August 28, 2011 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #803765shlishiMemberI don’t think it was right that everyone badgered Avigail until she told us her name.
August 28, 2011 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #803766popa_bar_abbaParticipantI don’t think it was right that everyone badgered Avigail until she told us her name.
Maybe. But I still think it’s a pretty name. Hee hee.
August 28, 2011 6:33 pm at 6:33 pm #803767taking a breakMemberPBA thanx (blush)
shlishi, if i didnt want to say my name, i wouldn’t of responded. I like my name B”H and i live up to my name. BA”H, my father shepps alot of nachas from me
August 28, 2011 6:34 pm at 6:34 pm #803768Queen BeeMembershlishi, no one “badgered” her. She gave us permission to guess three names.
Avigail, if it did bother you, I apologize.
Oh, I forgot to add that I think it’s a pretty name too 🙂
August 28, 2011 6:36 pm at 6:36 pm #803769MiddlePathParticipanttaking a break, I really think the best way to let him know that is by telling him straight out, but politely of course, that you wish to have a strictly in-school and only school-related, relationship.
About another issue, I personally feel that it is not nice to give anyone the cold shoulder for a compliment, Jew or non-Jew. There are other ways to give the message to “back off” that are more polite. Giving the cold shoulder can be viewed as rude, and can possibly lead to a chillul hashem.
And I happen to think Avigail is a very pretty name.
August 28, 2011 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #803770TomcheMemberFROM:
popa_bar_abba
Sometimes a Bit Over the Top. (And occasionally WAY over.)
I’ve heard of loads of girls names and have never been tempted to tell someone it was a pretty name.
POSTED 1 DAY AGO #
TO:
popa_bar_abba
Sometimes a Bit Over the Top. (And occasionally WAY over.)
I still think it’s a pretty name.
POSTED 13 MINUTES AGO #
What gives? You never heard the name before?
August 28, 2011 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #803771popa_bar_abbaParticipantummmmm
August 28, 2011 7:36 pm at 7:36 pm #803772bein_hasdorimParticipanttab; always be curt, serious, brief, being brief is the key,
answers what you have to, then turn your attention elsewhere as if you have somewhere to be, s/t to do. Don’t linger, will give him the wrong message.
Although MidPath makes a good point. and I’d take his advice. It’s important to note sometimes guys take this, telling them nicely you wish to have a professional etc.. as a message that they have to work harder to get your attention win you over , and this could lead to you changing your mind when they win you over.
However showing that your totally not interested physically giving him a curt not interested vibe that gets the message across way better. Don’t be rude, just act totally not interested.
August 28, 2011 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm #803773HealthParticipanttaking a break – Not to condone the guy’s behavior, but what’s a Frum girl doing joining student gov., esp. when it’s basically just socializing?
August 28, 2011 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #803774ToiParticipantanyone think of just telling him WHY your having this dilemma. then he’ll understand himself instead of feeling brushed off.
August 28, 2011 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #803775mendelsonrocksMemberIs there really such thing as “pretty names” or do men just think that a name is pretty because they associate it with a pretty girl?
August 28, 2011 10:17 pm at 10:17 pm #803776taking a breakMemberHealth: i am not part of student gov. i am not a senator, VP or prez. the coordinator of the peer advisers to advisees is overseen by the SG. neither of us are part of the SG. as i stated before, the advising is PRN. AS NEEDED meaning there should not be a relationship that is not school related. if he asks a question about the way the teacher gives an exam, i think its OK to answer it. if he asks me more personal questions, then yes, i know to change the subject and “brush him off” gently of course.
August 28, 2011 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #803777taking a breakMemberHealth: why do i feel like i am defending my choice to be involved in my school?
August 28, 2011 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm #803778ObaminatorMemberwhy do i feel like i am defending my choice to be involved in my school?
A) Because of the situation you described in the OP.
B) Because you brought this subject up for discussion.
August 28, 2011 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm #803779taking a breakMemberthis is a discussion board. correct. and yes i made the OP. but its not like i stated the halacha wrong that i need to be attacked. i came here for advice, not to be put down and ridiculed.
is there a problem with being involved in one’s school? this is not for socialization. i did this to help new comers to the school. did i know i would be the adviser for a frum guy? no i did not know. now that i know, i asked how do i keep it a kosher relationship? Bein hasdorim is the only one who answered my question. so thank you, BH. does anyone else have any eitzos now that i have to deal with this situation?
August 29, 2011 12:20 am at 12:20 am #803781ObaminatorMemberI think its fair for posters to point out the dangers of being involved in “this situation” in the first place.
August 29, 2011 12:30 am at 12:30 am #803782Queen BeeMemberAgreed with OP. Why shouldn’t a girl be involved in school? Should she hide in a corner or make the most out of her experience? I commend taking a break for realizing a possible dangerous/uncomfortable situation, and instead of pushing it aside or going with the flow, she asked advice for the best approach to deal with it.
I’m new here, but I noticed some posters are quick to judge and attack. We should all try to treat one another with respect.
August 29, 2011 12:54 am at 12:54 am #803783emunah613MemberBe kind, helpful and straightforward. Going to a new school is intimidating. And costs a fortune. There are all kinds of pressures to excel. I’ll bet that somewhere this guy is agonizing over what he said to you and is worrying if he offended you. Or else, he is clueless. Nevertheless if he needs help you can be mentschlech and give him the info he needs. If you are going to be in a health related field you will probably have frum male clients at one time or another. Pretend this guy is one of them and act like a professional would behave towards a patient. It will be good practice! IF he continously makes odd remarks that cause you to feel uncomfortable, then you need to ask to have him transferred to another advisor. Bhatzlocha in your studies!
I am so relieved to know that there are girls out there like you! It gives me hope for my sons!
August 29, 2011 12:55 am at 12:55 am #803784ObaminatorMemberThese types of situations is one of the reasons rabbonim are anti-college.
August 29, 2011 1:20 am at 1:20 am #803785ploiderer1ParticipantA tempest in a teapot. Just chill. Nothing happened and if you ignore it it will remain nothing.
August 29, 2011 2:03 am at 2:03 am #803786MiddlePathParticipanttaking a break, you are doing the right thing by being involved in your school, and you are also doing the right thing by bringing an issue that have to our attention to get advice with. Bein Hasdorim gave very good advice, and I agree with it. And Queen Bee is correct for saying that we shouldn’t be quick to judge and attack.
taking a break, I feel I owe you an apology for judging you about giving non-Jews the cold shoulder. Regardless of what I believe, I should not have said what I said to you, and I’m so sorry.
August 29, 2011 2:10 am at 2:10 am #803787taking a breakMemberapology accepted. but i do have to say you are correct in that no one deserves a cold shoulder and i agree with you. one goy in particular wasn’t getting the hint that i didn’t want his attention so i had to ignore him and kinda be short with him. B”H he got the hint.
August 29, 2011 2:12 am at 2:12 am #803788HachamMemberHmmm, another guy, and a goy no less, was also giving you unwarranted attention? Honestly this whole situation stinks.
August 29, 2011 2:16 am at 2:16 am #803789taking a breakMemberthis goyish guy is no longer in the college
August 29, 2011 2:24 am at 2:24 am #803790WIYMemberHacham
“Hmmm, another guy, and a goy no less, was also giving you unwarranted attention? Honestly this whole situation stinks.”
I agree but I didnt want to be the first one to say it.
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