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????
She said “my name is not unusual or unique.”
????
Probably it is speech therapy school, and it is a bit weird for a frum guy to be doing it anyway. In which case the guy might be just a bit odd.
And I’ll let someone else have the last guess. (Unless we each get three).
Wait! Maybe he was complimenting your last name. Is that a pretty name?
Give us another hint.
Is it in torah, neviim, or kesuvim? Or more than one?
Is it a good person or a bad person?
Popa – can i guess? i’m guessing devorah
Michal?
Michal makes sense. It can’t be a common name or too-well-known personality because then there would be nothing to make the name remarkable.
Aw, I thought I guessed right! Can I guess again? Batsheva? If you don’t answer, that means I’m right! 😉
giving compliments is a terrible thing. it is not tznius. we allknow that compliments lead to blushing and that leads to untznius thoughts.
if you must give a compliment it should be on the other side of a mechitza
Okay, one last guess: Avigayil?
Taking a break – You seem to be avoiding the point me and minyan gal brought up. What kind of school does this? I’ve been in many colleges – Jewish and not and not one has ever done this.
If you put a guy in an awkward situation, it might not be so surprising when he does something wrong, esp. if he never had any coed experience before.
Why do take it as whatever the college proclaims is the norm?
Did anyone question this college’s absurd policy?
I blame the college a lot more than the guy. This is called being “Dan L’caf Zecus”!
Bullseye! Bullseye! Bullseye!
Hmmmm. Avigail is close. Naval?
taking a break – Most of my schooling was in the medical field and what your college is asking people to do is far from the norm.
I would get out of this assignment and ask them how come they do it, when no one else does?
Yay 🙂
I don’t think it was right that everyone badgered Avigail until she told us her name.
I don’t think it was right that everyone badgered Avigail until she told us her name.
Maybe. But I still think it’s a pretty name. Hee hee.
shlishi, no one “badgered” her. She gave us permission to guess three names.
Avigail, if it did bother you, I apologize.
Oh, I forgot to add that I think it’s a pretty name too 🙂
taking a break, I really think the best way to let him know that is by telling him straight out, but politely of course, that you wish to have a strictly in-school and only school-related, relationship.
About another issue, I personally feel that it is not nice to give anyone the cold shoulder for a compliment, Jew or non-Jew. There are other ways to give the message to “back off” that are more polite. Giving the cold shoulder can be viewed as rude, and can possibly lead to a chillul hashem.
And I happen to think Avigail is a very pretty name.
FROM:
popa_bar_abba
Sometimes a Bit Over the Top. (And occasionally WAY over.)
I’ve heard of loads of girls names and have never been tempted to tell someone it was a pretty name.
POSTED 1 DAY AGO #
TO:
popa_bar_abba
Sometimes a Bit Over the Top. (And occasionally WAY over.)
I still think it’s a pretty name.
POSTED 13 MINUTES AGO #
What gives? You never heard the name before?
ummmmm
tab; always be curt, serious, brief, being brief is the key,
answers what you have to, then turn your attention elsewhere as if you have somewhere to be, s/t to do. Don’t linger, will give him the wrong message.
Although MidPath makes a good point. and I’d take his advice. It’s important to note sometimes guys take this, telling them nicely you wish to have a professional etc.. as a message that they have to work harder to get your attention win you over , and this could lead to you changing your mind when they win you over.
However showing that your totally not interested physically giving him a curt not interested vibe that gets the message across way better. Don’t be rude, just act totally not interested.
taking a break – Not to condone the guy’s behavior, but what’s a Frum girl doing joining student gov., esp. when it’s basically just socializing?
anyone think of just telling him WHY your having this dilemma. then he’ll understand himself instead of feeling brushed off.
Is there really such thing as “pretty names” or do men just think that a name is pretty because they associate it with a pretty girl?
why do i feel like i am defending my choice to be involved in my school?
A) Because of the situation you described in the OP.
B) Because you brought this subject up for discussion.
I think its fair for posters to point out the dangers of being involved in “this situation” in the first place.
Agreed with OP. Why shouldn’t a girl be involved in school? Should she hide in a corner or make the most out of her experience? I commend taking a break for realizing a possible dangerous/uncomfortable situation, and instead of pushing it aside or going with the flow, she asked advice for the best approach to deal with it.
I’m new here, but I noticed some posters are quick to judge and attack. We should all try to treat one another with respect.
Be kind, helpful and straightforward. Going to a new school is intimidating. And costs a fortune. There are all kinds of pressures to excel. I’ll bet that somewhere this guy is agonizing over what he said to you and is worrying if he offended you. Or else, he is clueless. Nevertheless if he needs help you can be mentschlech and give him the info he needs. If you are going to be in a health related field you will probably have frum male clients at one time or another. Pretend this guy is one of them and act like a professional would behave towards a patient. It will be good practice! IF he continously makes odd remarks that cause you to feel uncomfortable, then you need to ask to have him transferred to another advisor. Bhatzlocha in your studies!
I am so relieved to know that there are girls out there like you! It gives me hope for my sons!
These types of situations is one of the reasons rabbonim are anti-college.
A tempest in a teapot. Just chill. Nothing happened and if you ignore it it will remain nothing.
taking a break, you are doing the right thing by being involved in your school, and you are also doing the right thing by bringing an issue that have to our attention to get advice with. Bein Hasdorim gave very good advice, and I agree with it. And Queen Bee is correct for saying that we shouldn’t be quick to judge and attack.
taking a break, I feel I owe you an apology for judging you about giving non-Jews the cold shoulder. Regardless of what I believe, I should not have said what I said to you, and I’m so sorry.
Hmmm, another guy, and a goy no less, was also giving you unwarranted attention? Honestly this whole situation stinks.
Hacham
“Hmmm, another guy, and a goy no less, was also giving you unwarranted attention? Honestly this whole situation stinks.”
I agree but I didnt want to be the first one to say it.
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