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Question for people in the room:
When you get an invitation for a wedding with no return card, do you actually attend the simchas choson v’kallah as advertised on the invitation?
either you go for the chuppa, or you come when the card says, which is after the meal for dancing. plenty of pple do it .
I am too old for that. Either invite me to the chuppah only, or to the entire wedding. To be invited for the chuppah and then for “Simchas Chosson and Kallah” (after the meal) is a not so flattering way of telling your B-listers to show up for everything BUT the meal. This was never done in the years when I was growing up, and I personally find it objectionable. Invite the people you can truly afford to invite, and make a big kiddush and invite the rest of the world to that.
Either way, it translates into a gift.
I don’t think they mean for you to come and go to BOTH the chuppah and the simchas chosson v’kallah afterwards, but rather to whichever is convenient for you. Here in EY, many people come just for chuppahs – like people who want to bring small children who know the involved parties (students or Bnos girls, etc) and then take them home before they become disruptive. Other people want to take care of their families at home and put children to bed and then bring in a babysitter and go to the chassanah to enjoy what is happening at that hour. I definitely wouldn’t come for both parts unless I was staying for the meal.
I wouldn’t show up for both. There’s too much of a gap between chuppah and dancing. I’d go to the chuppah and then leave.
firstly 147 around here if u dont sit for the meal u dont give a gift
secondly b”h with simchas all the time who can sit by meals you go about 10 or if u can by bediken say ur mazel tovs and go
it has to be somebody so close to sit by a meal
and think about prices today u cant have everybody ditting by the meal u would go broke!
Yes, I do. Why not?
They cannot invite everyone to the meal – I wouldn’t expect that unless I’m close friend/family.
Nechomah, I WAS invited to the chuppah AND the dancing. And I was an old friend. It was not comfortable to be put in this category, and felt insulting.
Oomis – that must have been uncomfortable. Did they personally invite you this way – I mean by phone or in person? I wouldn’t have had the guts to do that to people.
In EY, I think we have it the best, like I said before. No pressure to go to the whole chassanah – who has a whole night, especially when families get big and you can have numerous simchos close together (maybe even more than one on a night), so you go for what you can and at least the baal hasimcha knows that you wanted to wish him/her well.
I will say that the challenge then goes to the baal hasimcha to figure out how many meals to order. When I got married, we did not use meal cards in the invites nor did we request RSVP to indicate if they were staying for the meal, so how many meals to order??? I guess people just order some extra and have to figure out to make sure to take the extras home.
The invitation was in the mail, with a separate card for the chuppah and a separate one for the simchas chosson v’kallah, with no reply card for dinner. The chuppah was at 7 and the simcha dancing was at 10. What was I supposed to do in the interim, go home and come back? I would rather invite the entire world to a cake and soda reception, than do that to a close friend. I am moichel them (and they had been to all my simchas), but it was not pleasant to have this happen – especially when the wedding was made at a country club.
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